Deliver Us from Eva Page #9

That's why they have lunch

together three times a week.

That's why Eva's thinking about

passing on a new job to stay. What job?

Eva was offered

a new job in Chicago.

But she's gonna say no

because she found Ray.

- Ain't that a- - But here's

something that'll make you happy.

- We're dissolving the Dandridge fund.

- Really? That's great.

- Eva's gonna keep it all.

- What?

You know. She has a new life, a new man.

She's gonna need that money. Okay, baby.

Here's all your stuff. Let

yourself out, okay? Love you.

Is there something wrong?

I took your advice and convinced

my boss to let me run his company.

He told me I could

start next week.

He did? That's great.

Congratulations.

That's good news, right?

Yeah.

You made me realize

I can't run from myself.

It's like someone gave me

a pair of glasses...

that filter out all the foolishness

and stupidity in my life.

What have I given you

for that gift, Eva?

Nothing.

You taught me how to trust again,

Ray. I wouldn't call that nothing.

And you've helped me come

to a decision of my own.

What?

Baby, if you're

gonna be here,

then this is exactly

where I wanna be.

Crossed the line with

Eva, didn't you, Ray? No.

Don't lie, you lyin'

bald- headed son of a b*tch.

All I did was what

you paid me for.

And now that Eva's in a relationship,

our women are even worse.

Everything that you do

comes back on us.

And Eva's keeping

all the money, Ray.

That's not my fault. Like

hell it ain't your fault, Ray!

Something's wrong with you, Ray. You've

been having too much damn fun with Eva.

You haven't asked for any

expenses lately. Why's that?

You pay for the woman.

You must like the woman.

That's ridiculous. I'm a player. I'm on

the job. What's in the garment bag, Ray?

Nothing. A suit.

I got a promotion at work.

A promotion? That is Eva

all the way. No, that's me.

Then what the hell is this?

Tupperware.

That's Eva's middle name.

I just needed

to organize a few things.

Organization is Eva's

second middle name.

Look, Eva got a job offer

in Chicago.

You're gonna dump her. That way, she

has no reason to stay here, get it?

Yes. Say "yes," Ray.

She's staying because of me?

Uh-uh. She's staying because

you boned her. You boned her!

We know all about it, partner. And

that is like stealing from your job.

You have embezzled the booty. Now, look.

You're gonna call her tomorrow,

and you're gonna tell her it's over.

No. He did not just say "no," did he?

- No, I said "no. "

- Listen, now! Hold up for a second!

You're supposed to be a master

player. You forgot the rules.

Players don't feel. That's like a

pimp with a health plan, brother.

Mike, where did you find

this big-ass bamba, man?

You done went from DMX to Babyface

on us, man. What's up with that?

Wait. They done gave you

a copy of their theme song.

They done made you an

orange. Okay, okay, look.

I'm sorry. I do like her,

all right?

I had to open my heart to get to her,

and when I did, she got to me first.

- I think I might love her.

- Love?

Love is an excuse, an alibi,

a justification for sex.

But it is not something that should

stop a man from keeping his promise, Ray.

Look. I'm sorry, fellas.

I'm going to

see Eva tonight,

and the least I can do is

tell her in person what I did.

So... that's it.

What?

Come on. Let's go.

Mike. Mike!

So, is she real good, man? Does

she have some methods that she did?

'Cause I'm trying

to getJacqui-

Ha!

This is bull-

Thank you, Thomas.

No problem.

I need to get up out of here so y'all

can get back to dissin' us brothers.

I know how y'all is.

Excuse us?

Aw, man. Y'all females

be trippin', man.

Look. First y'all

drive men away,

then y'all wanna b*tch and moan

when y'all ain't got one.

Hold up. Hold up.

Code 12.

You know why I complain,

Thomas?

- 'Cause I need a real man.

- Here we go.

I need a real man,

not a child or a boy.

Give me a hard rock, not

a soft little toy. Wow.

You think women are hard?

You think we're evil and mean?

- Well, I think maybe you don't need us.

- Maybe you on the wrong team.

So I need a real man,

and my standards are high.

Don't like what you just heard?

Then you need not apply.

Wait a second. Fresh meat.

Come on.

Leave 'em alone, ladies.

Mike. Honey, is something

wrong? I got some bad news.

It's, uh- It's about Ray.

Ray!

My Ray?

What- Is he okay?

Some story, huh?

Well, it's not quite complete.

We got three hours before the funeral,

fellas. Is all the food and water okay?

Everything is okay. Darrell,

where did you find this place?

This is an old postal storage

warehouse, but we don't use it anymore,

not till now.

Look here, Ray. You got everything

you need. You even have two bathrooms.

Bucket number one,

and bucket number two.

You'll be a little gamey in a

few days, but you'll be alive.

This won't work. Oh, yes

it will, baby muscles.

See, you've died in a car accident

according to this police report.

Show him. Right here.

Yeah, yeah.

Eva needed to know that your

body was immediately cremated.

What about my family? Did you

think about that, smart guys?

You ain't got no relatives, Ray, and very

little friends, thanks to your job-hopping.

And Eva took that job in Chi-town

after she found out you were dead.

It's not fair for you to

make her leave under a lie.

It wasn't fair for you

to screw us on that deal.

No, Ray. Let him go.

Let him go!

Come on. Fellas,

fellas, fellas, listen.

Listen. Maybe we need to just think

about this for one minute, all right?

No, you think about this.

It's our word against his.

By the time he tells Eva the

truth, she'll be long gone.

And then we can say we didn't know anything

about this sick joke that he played on her.

What the hell are you doing

falling in love with Eva?

I think it's 'cause she got some good booty,

man. See all that aggression he got in him?

That's 'cause he ain't

gettin' none. Let's go.

Come on, Tim.

Tim, come on!

First of all, I'd like to thank

all of you for coming today.

You know, Ray and I didn't

really know each other very long,

but... in that short amount

of time,

we became really close.

You know, when someone

enters your life,you-

you don't really know

how it changes you...

until they're gone.

I thought you said this was

gonna be a simple funeral.

Who are all these people?

Eva. She invited

all her friends from work.

Where the hell does

Eva work at, Soul Train?

Look at all these black

people in here. It's packed.

Look. Just hang in there.

It's gonna be okay. I promise.

I've, uh,

invited my friend Valerie

from my church choir...

to sing a song.

Eva!

Lord, it's a miracle.

Oh, my God. Baby.

What happened? Oh, my God.

This whole thing was a lie.

It's all a lie.

No, I wasn't in on this, okay?

Y'all did this on your own.

Tim, Mike and Darrell...

faked my death...

so that you'd leave town.

That's a lie!

Eva, he wanted to dump you, but he didn't

have the guts to tell you face-to-face.

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