Delta Farce Page #7

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Ain't you ever had a dream?

Sh*t.

Hell, you got me.

I always wanted to be

an aerobics instructor.

Okay.

Don't look at me, man.

I got a wife and kids to think about.

And what would you do if Connie

and the boys lived in a town like this?

Would you leave them then?

No.

Damn it.

All right.

Like they say in the Army,

be all you can be.

You got it right!

Who am I kidding?

I live in a storage locker.

I'm not going anywhere.

All right, then.

We got all day to figure out a plan.

Come on, we're the Sleeping Marmots!

What else can Santana do to us?

Senor! Senor!

I think you better take a look at this.

A tank?

Where'd they get that?

That's a Sherman tank, U.S. Army surplus!

Back in the '80s, the Mexicans traded

You're kidding!

Incoming!

Down!

Get everybody in the church!

- But what about...

- Now!

We gotta take that tank out.

Get the rocket-launcher!

I got it, Sarge! It's in the bunkhouse!

Cover him.

If I die, Connie's gonna kill me!

We gotta take that tank out!

Don't we have anything

in this town we can use?

Cover me!

Cover me!

You heard the man! Cover him!

I said cover me!

B*tch!

Come on!

Come on!

Damn it! Come on!

Sh*t. That'll work.

It is time for us to stand up to Santana

once and for all!

Come on! Let's get them!

Remember the Alamo!

That is a sore subject around here, senor.

We did it. We ran them off!

- Where's Maria?

- Oh, General, Santana has taken her.

You have any more daughters?

Lupita.

I'll go find Maria.

Stupid gringos.

They may have won this battle,

but as usual,

Carlos Santana will win the war.

Far enough!

Now let her go!

What do you see in this fat redneck?

Fat redneck?

I swear, on Monday,

I'm starting a low-carb diet.

Now I'll have to kill both of you.

It will take more than one helicopter

to defeat Carlos Santana!

This is not good.

Thank you.

Papa! Oh, thank God!

Look forward and come this way, please!

Hey, everybody okay?

Oh, sure. Everybody's fine.

Couldn't be better.

Bill got shot.

Bill got... What?

Bill! You all right?

They got me!

I don't think I'm gonna make it.

Larry...

You tell them my story.

He was shot in the ass. He'll be fine.

- Sir.

- Colonel Dalton, Delta Force.

Is there a Bill Little here?

Yeah. That's me.

Your wife's a real pain in the ass.

When she found out you were in Mexico,

she started calling the Pentagon.

Wouldn't stop till the Joint Chiefs

sent us down here to get you.

God, I love that woman.

Yeah. You better mow the lawn

when you get home.

Yes, sir.

Hey, Larry, this guy wants to talk to you.

Says he's from the State Department.

Roger Grabowski,

undersecretary, Central American affairs.

You hear that? Poor bastard's a secretary.

Bit of a sticky situation we've got here.

We're in a lot of trouble, ain't we?

Maybe not. That is,

if you guys will cooperate.

We're all about cooperation.

Another victory in the war on terror

as the White House today

announced the success

of Operation Sombrero

with strikes against terror camps

located in northern Mexico

by U.S. Personnel operating with

permission from the Mexican government.

In a shocking development,

among those captured in the attack

was Grammy-winning musician,

Carlos Santana,

known for such hits

as Black Magic Woman,

Evil Ways, and Oye Como Va.

Once more, America is in need

of its best and brightest.

One wonders if there are still heroes

willing to lead us

through the challenges we face as a nation.

I say the answer is yes.

And I am proud to be standing

here with them today

as we honor their sacrifice.

Ten hut!

What's my name?

Sergeant Kilgore, sir!

You will be a mean, lean fighting machine.

One, two, three!

Move it, fat buddy!

Oh, yeah! That's the way I like it!

Get some!

Hey!

Stop it! Stop it!

I'm a government employee!

You can't do this!

Here you go, honey.

Oh, I wish I had a thousand of them

just like you, son.

Any chance I can convince you

to come back to Washington?

Actually, General, I got other plans.

Mr. Chile, would you like to sing a song?

Yes!

Why don't you sing something

by Carlos Santana?

Okay.

- You sing very good.

- Thank you.

- What did you think of the last guy?

- I did not like the last guy.

- No?

- No.

He was squeezing my stick.

All right, you're gonna love this. Pull!

Lace thong.

Wait a second. Those are mine!

When you address me, you will address me

as Sergeant... What is my name? Kilgore!

How you doing, GI Joe. Can I help you?

What is my name?

My last movie was nominated

for two Academy Awards.

I would like to say that.

Man, who'd have thought

a woman that fat could move so quick?

Oh, my God, y'all!

Sergeant!

People of La Mirada...

People of La Miranda!

Tonight.

The end of La Mirada!

Sh*t!

Git-r-done!

Oye como va, b*tches. I'm out.

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