Demon Knight Page #5

"hell on earth" business?

Big f***ing deal!

I got hemorrhoids.

Vaya con Dios.

And a vaya con diablos

to you too, sir.

There's just one more thing

I forgot to mention: I lied.

Anybody home?

Come on out, everybody?

It's time to play!

Hello?

Or not.

Come on, Brayker, move your ass.

Grab the case and get over here.

Let's go.

Cleo!

Come on, baby.

Yeah.

Go.

I want you all up

in the steeple now!

What are you gonna do?

I'm gonna cover the rear.

Get your asses up there!

Goooo!

Up. Up, up, up!

This is my house, and I make

the rules! Now get up there!

Sh*t!

Supper time.

Only enough

for one entrance.

Is that all there is?

That's all.

The window.

What did you

do that for?

Take it.

What?

Out of the seven, you're the only

one left. You're the chosen one.

That's what I came here to do.

Give you this key.

Can I have it?

Danny, no!

Aaaah!

Danny! Stop it!

Let him go right now!

No!

Danny, no!

Sh*t! Oh, Jesus!

Brayker, I'm so sorry.

Don't be.

You killed him, right?

That's all that's important.

You're ready.

Ready for what?

For the key.

Give me the key.

Brayker, I can't do this. I'm not

the right person for this sh*t!

He tried to seduce you,

didn't he?

He tried.

You're exactly

the right kind of person.

Give me your hand.

I can't, Brayker.

He's still down there.

Come on!

When the stars line up,

you'll know what to do.

I can't tell you how long.

Maybe a lifetime.

Maybe several.

And on that day,

you'll fight.

And when that night is over,

you'll do what I just did.

Watch your back,

Jeryline.

Watch your back.

Brayker?

Don't you leave me!

Brayker! Wake up!

Come on. Wake up.

See that, Jeryline?

I was right

about Brayker.

He's dead.

You, you're still here,

aren't you?

I'm not gonna hurt you

unless you make me.

You just stay

where you are.

Personally, I was hoping

we could avoid this.

Just pour the blood out. Save

yourself the years of running.

I mean, really,

what's the point?

It all ends up

the same way.

Look at you.

You must be in exquisite pain.

All covered with blood.

That's right.

Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!

Oooh!

It's not my blood.

B*tch!

It's curtains for you,

baby. Come on!

I'm sure you're familiar

with the relationship... No!

Between cleanliness

and godliness. No! No!

Well, let me

tell you something.

That's the first thing

I'm gonna change.

No, you don't.

How was that? Good.

I liked those too.

Damn!

Brayker didn't have time

to tell you everything.

That eyeball sh*t

only works on low-level demons.

I know.

Who makes up all these rules?

Upsy-daisy!

This is a special day

for me, Jeryline.

I waited a long time for this

promotion, and I have to tell you...

You know, I-I'm glad that it's

you who could share it with me.

Don't feel bad

about giving up the key...

...because by the time your race

finds out what happened...

...well, they'll look like

last week's leftovers anyway.

So... Cheer up.

Thanks.

I warned you.

I told you what would happen.

You didn't believe me.

I forgive you.

I know what you're thinking:

"He's got the key. What else

could he possibly want now?"

I want you. You know...

...no one's ever brought a demon

knight over to the other side before.

Well, not in one piece,

anyway.

Honey, you'd be the first.

There'd be a period

of adjustment, of course.

I'm very easy to live with,

I'm clean, I don't drink much...

...and I know my folks

are gonna love you.

I notice you're not

saying anything. Hmm?

Is that because you're thinking of something

to say? What is there to think about?

There was a time when a coy

silence was appreciated in a woman.

Well, this is not

one of those times...

...and you're really starting

to piss me off!

Down, boy!

I'm sorry.

I'm really sorry.

I didn't mean

to get angry. I...

Jeryline. Jeryline...

I'm gonna say something to you

I haven't said t-to anyone.

Jeryline, I lo... You.

Jeryline, I lo... You.

Jeryline, do you think you could

ever find it in your heart...

...to possibly lo... Me?

Didn't think so.

All right, let's...

Ah, f*** it!

You will die. But at least

we'll be together forever.

If I can't have your soul,

I'm gonna take your heart.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Hold on.

No. It's okay.

I'll wait for the next one.

Ahhh!

I love "scarnations. "

You'll be happy

to know, kiddies...

...that Jeryline lived

happily ever after.

In fact, I even got

a "ghostcard" from her.

She's traveling the world

and having a fabulous time.

As for me, I'm afraid

I've got to hurry.

Tonight's our big

"screamiere. "

Hello.

Hello, hello.

Ah, the whole

fan club is here.

Hello,

baby-booby-bubby.

Uh-oh! I think my producers

are trying to tell me something.

Well, what do you know!

I asked for final cut,

and I got it!

Now that's "inter-tainment"!

Oh, still here, creeps?

What's the matter? Didn't get

your minimum deadly allowance...

...of murder,

madness and mayhem?

Then look out

for my next motion picture...

Dead Easy, coming very soon

to a theater near you.

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