Demoted Page #8

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the Reilly Auto Parts deal.

Yeah !

We're with the big dogs now.

Gel Pumped!

Get fired up.

Yeah.

I know.

It's exciting stuff, huh?

Yeah, I should know.

I put the deal together myself.

But I can pretty much imagine

what you're all thinking,

and I'll tell you what--

I'll make it easy on you.

You're welcome.

I will be accepting cash

andlor gifts

as tokens of gratitude

for all the hard work I've done.

Huh?

Now-- oh.

I'm a little low.

You want to top me off?

Come on, sugar bottom.

You want to help me out?

Yeah, honey buns, you.

That's right.

Get coffee for your boss.

All right, now

who's got business

they want to discuss?

Kline:
Yeah, Ken, seems we have

an international kerfuffle--

Actually, I've got one quick thing.

I don't know who it is

that's been putting copies of the movie

"Nine to Five" on my chair,

- but it is really not cool-- not cool.

- ( men chuckling )

I said business, Murphy.

Sorry, Kline.

What were you saying?

Ken, listen, seems that--

( men exclaim, laugh )

Jesus Christ, McAdams.

This is awful. What are you trying

to do-- poison me?

Go to Biggby's,

get me some real coffee.

Hey, coffee b*tch is making a run.

Anybody want anything?

- I'm gonna get a latte, double.

- I want a grande latte with soy.

O'Donnell:
I need a decaf.

We've already been over the reason.

- We don't need to talk about it.

- Grab me a cappuccino?

Bite me.

Hey, look who's back

for, like, a thousandth time.

Let me guess:

you want some coffee?

Ain't that right,

coffee b*tch?

Really?

Whoa.

(woman screaming )

Rodney:

Who's the coffee b*tch now?

That little sh*t blinded me

with coffee grinds, right?

So I grabbed this stale muffin

and I hauled off a 90mph fastball.

I nailed him right in the forehead

and knocked his ass out.

Awesome. What's next?

Are you gonna pick a fight with

the retarded kid that works at Subway?

Shut up.

Ooh.

Mike:
Are those guys

from corporate?

- It's a misunderstanding.

- I hope they fired Castro.

Not exactly, but they did

chew him a new a-hole.

And you didn't get

f***ing donuts.

Apparently the Reilly

Auto Parts deal

fell apart at the last second.

- Oh, sh*t.

- Take cover.

( Ken yelling )

F***ing plant!

You stupid--

Wow.

- Hey:
guys'

- Hey.

I know we call it

"the book club,"

but I didn't think

we actually took it seriously.

Oh, no, no, it's not like that.

I take nursing classes at night

and I've got a final coming up.

Oh, that's nice.

Hey!

Can I ask you guys

for some advice?

Yeah, sure.

I mean, if it's about any kind of,

you know, women's issues,

you know, down there,

we're not technically

medically qualified to answer.

Please, please forgive him.

He's a little slow.

Go ahead.

What do you need? Shoot.

See, I've got my anniversary

coming up

and I have no idea

what to get my husband.

He's really difficult

to shop for and--

- Blow job

- Blow job

Excuse me,

did you just say"?

Yeah, a blow job.

You know, like a hummer, sucking off

Giving head,

smoking the bone, fellatio--

it goes by many names.

And it's probably the best five

minutes a man could ever ask for.

That is what you should get him

for your anniversary as a present.

- Really?

- Mmmmm.

- That's it?

- That is it.

Look at that.

Wow, so, you know, I've been totally

overthinking this whole thing.

Most women usually do.

But, hey, no half-assing it.

You go downtown on that thing, okay?

Like you did when you first

started dating.

Yeah, lick his balls.

That's an extra added bonus.

Balls, balls--

ball-licking is awesome.

You should be

writing this down.

- Okay, uh...

- Licking his balls.

- Oh, "licking his balls"?

- Yeah.

The thing is, Bob and I--

we're into making romance.

And scrotum-licking

sounds like...

- No, it's very romantic.

- ...some crazy Internet thing.

- No, no, no, no.

- No, no, you build up to romance

and then you start going crazy.

You gotta like it, all right?

And if you don't like it,

you gotta pretend like you like it.

- No, you gotta like it.

- 'Cause he's gonna love it.

What do you like in life?

What do you like to do?

Well...

oh, I love antique shopping.

Antique shopping?

You gotta suck his dick

like you are antique shopping.

You know what I'm saying?

Rodney:
Honestly, in your mind,

if you concentrate really hard

and make that cock

like an antique,

like the most beautiful antique

you've ever seen--

Are you sure a brand-new DVD player

wouldn't be better?

No, f*** the DVD.

No, no, no, you are

a smart girl, okay?

Listen, bottom line--

just suck that cock.

Yep, that pretty much

sums it up.

Okay '

Good job, all right, but we need

to go faster here, all right?

I don't have all day. Come on.

Are you going--

are you gonna get

that one down? Good.

All right, guys, also, hey,

I asked for 10 guys

and they gave me six,

all right?

I think one of them is gay,

so five and a half.

Hey, hey, hey, what the hell

is going on here?

More budget cuts. Castro's knocking

down our break room.

He says that it's an extra expense

the company can't afford any more.

Oh, come on, girl, don't cry.

And they took our coffee machine.

- They're taking away all the Slim-Fast.

- And now I'm gonna get fat.

Get me some more of these

slag-hammer things.

And somebody bring me up

my "Maxim" magazine.

Hey, Castro, you can't do this.

You can't take our break room.

( Crowd exclaims )

I think I just did.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

But that turned out to be--

Oh, now what is this?

What is this?

Oh, you've got to be kidding me.

( laughing )

- Okay, yeah, that's great.

- The joke's over.

Yeah, why don't you go--

why don't you go protest?

- Why don't you go out and have--?

- Kline:
Not gonna happen.

- Nice sign.

- There'll never be a union.

Why don't you get one of those

giant inflatable rats?

- Rats.

- You know? Right?

- Rodney:
What do we want?

- Union.

- When do we want it?

- Now.

- What do we want?

- Union.

- When do we want it?

- Now.

- What do we want?

- Union.

They're so any"!!-

We're standing here at Treadline

with Mike Murphy

where the secretaries have walked out.

Mike, what's going on?

You're witnessing something

beautiful here right now.

What you're seeing

is people who have decided

they're not gonna take it any more.

So we're just a bunch of girls out here

fighting for our rights.

- When do we want it?

- Now.

But you're a man.

I'm a man? Well, on the outside,

that may be true,

but here on the inside, where it

counts, we're all the same.

- Ken, Ken, Ken.

- Yeah, what?

- Ken.

- Yeah.

There are no more f***ing donuts.

This is a nightmare.

Hey, hey, ho, ho,

Treadline sh*t has got to go.

Hey, hey, ho, ho,

Treadline sh*t has got to go.

Shame on Treadline.

Take that, Castro.

Oh, that is uncalled for.

Hey, hey, ho, ho,

Treadline sh*t has got to go.

One of them just peed

on the company flag.

Whoo!

Whoo! Yow!

- ( Alarm blaring )

- Oh, not the Z, not--!

You got me, Castro?

You got me?

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