Demoted Page #7

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Can I get you some ice?

No, I need, like, an ice suit.

So let me get this straight:

your boss stalked you through

the woods like a f***ing ferret

and you're gonna tell Jennifer

that it was a training exercise?

I had to tell her something.

She's getting suspicious.

- Whoa.

- Oh.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Uh-uh.

Good morning, ladies.

Morning, Kenny.

How's your ass?

Was your boyfriend

gentle on you last night?

Ha ha, you're a real

comedian, Murphy.

And it's Ken, God damn it.

How many times I gotta tell you that?

Oh, we're sorry. How about Fuckface?

Does that work for you?

Blow a horse, McAdams.

No, I'm good.

I'll leave the animal rape to you.

Uh, it's not rape if you blow something.

That's not rape.

What is with the roadblock?

Does Treadline have some al-Qaeda

on the loose or what's up?

You know, corporate asked me

to make some cutbacks,

so I thought I'd start with

secretary parking.

- These are all rental spaces.

- Okay, where are we supposed to park?

All the secretaries are gonna be able

to park on Walnut.

- Walnut?

- That's, like, a mile walk from here.

Castro, it's, like, 100

outside today.

I know.

It's a real scorcher, isn't it?

I don't know if it's been this hot

in a long time--

probably global warming.

You should see what

my nutsack feels like.

All right, have fun walking,

b*tches.

Castro is gonna pay for this. It's like

the f***ing Sahara out here today.

Tell me about it. I'm definitely

gonna have swamp ass all day now.

You and me both.

My front side

ain't doing too good either.

Yes, Miss Holland would like to know

if she can reschedule her 2:00, please.

There he is, right on time,

going to take his morning sh*t.

Just like clockwork.

This guy is so predictable.

Good morning.

Mr. Frank's office.

No, he's not in.

Can I take a message?

Will do.

Thank you.

Break it up, ladies.

This isn't "The View."

( phone rings )

Hello. Mr. Castro's office.

- He's in.

- Got ya.

What the f*** is this?

- Which one is it?

- How the f*** should I know?

I'm not a scientist.

This sh*t's complicated.

- Whatever. Just turn them all.

- All right.

' ( Qrunts )

'( Plops )

(sighs )

Right there.

( Pipes clanking )

Yeah, that's good.

Oh, fudge.

( Low rumbling )

Oh!

( Cheering )

( screaming )

Oh, Jesus Christ!

Oh, Jesus!

( Screaming )

Oh, Jesus!

Oh, it's going up my nose.

Oh, mother.

What the sh*t?

Oh.

No' no, no,

Oh, sh*t.

Oh, my-- f***.

Shh. Go back.

She's got promise.

J' I've been watching the birds

as they go J'

J' And I've been keeping

my bank account low J'

J' I've been keeping

my end of the deal... J'

- ( crowd cheering )

- J' With St. Anthony and St. Thomas J'

J' My little sister gave it

a hell of a try J'

J' You know, I hear it gets worse

when you die J'

J' I can't believe you got me

waiting for another year J'

J' But if you ever make it back,

I'll be here J'

J' And I'll be ready,

I promise I

J' I promise... J'

Open all the way.

J' I hear your voice J'

J' Say things to me J'

J' But I get up for nothing J'

J' 'Cause I'm afraid to see... J'

- No, no, no, no.

- Tina.

J' Every day is so twisted,

I know you won't give in J'

J' But I'll still be here J'

J' If you want me back again J'

- J' I promise... J'

- Whoa, sh*t.

J' I promise... J'

- ( cheering )

- J' I try to count the chimes J'

J' Water the flowers

above the sink sometimes J'

J' I listen to your records J'

J' Do you still have mine? J'

J' Every day is so twisted... J'

-( Betty giggling )

- J' I know you won't give in J'

J' So I promise not to try J'

- J' To make it breathe again... J'

- Mr. Frank's office.

- Here he is right now.

- J' I promise... J'

Mike?

Oh, hey.

Don't mind me.

Okay. Excuse me, I just meant

to take this with me on Friday.

What are you doing here

on a Saturday?

Just catching up

on some work, organizing.

Nobody likes

a sloppy secretary.

Right.

Okay.

( chuckles )

Hey!

Are you hungry?

Do you want to maybe

grab some lunch?

Yeah.

- Yeah?

- Yeah. Now?

( Chuckles )

Oh. Oh! Good job.

When you said, "lunch,"

I didn't expect you to take me bowling.

Okay, first of all,

despite this being a bowling alley,

it happens to serve

the best pizza in the city.

And second, you know,

I've been kind of hard on you.

And lately you've really

stepped it up.

So, I don't know,

I guess it's the least I can do.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Yes! Whoo-hoo!

Yeah !

- Size seven.

- Okay.

- Thanks.

- No problem.

Thanks for this.

It was really fun.

Yeah, it was fun.

But, listen, you know,

you might not want to mention this

to anybody in the office.

Technically, I'm your boss.

Yeah, right, that's true.

They might think

that we were dating

or something

or that you were trying

to sexually harass me,

which, you know--

which, by the way, would be fine.

I'd be totally cool with that,

if, you know--

I mean, I wouldn't tell anybody.

I wouldn't report you.

Right.

Good to know.

- Yeah.

- Uh, okay.

- I'm gonna get going.

- Yeah.

- Okay. CR3)!

- Okay. Okay

Come on. God.

Jesus Christ, you didn't tell me

he was coming.

Honey, he wants to be

involved, okay?

First of all, I didn't know

you were coming.

Let's all just try

to get along today.

- Hi, Dad.

- Hey, honey.

How's my little girl?

Let's go. Today, Rodney.

Rodney:
NASCAR-style.

Watch your head.

Watch your head, sweetie.

- J.R.:
Okay, all in?

- Yep.

- ( Tires screech )

- Whoa.

I hope you boys are ready,

'cause we've got a lot

of shopping to do.

Come on, rookie.

Rodney:
Jesus, stop f***ing

hitting me, J.R.

J.R.:

Come on.

These are them.

Don't mess with the big fella.

Mm. That's the one.

No.

-( laughing )

- I-ley, hey.

- Yeah, I like this one.

- Okay, uh-huh.

Yes!

Okay, so, guys,

we need to find

a centerpiece.

A centerpiece for the tables--

that's what we're looking for, okay?

Okay '

Oh.

- I got it first, J.R. Get your own.

- No, no, no, no, I had it first.

What are you talking about?

I got my hand on it first.

Don't mess with me, Rodney.

I'm a war veteran.

What are you talking about?

You were in the Coast Guard.

- What do you mean by that?

- Just give me the-- just give it.

Oh, my God,

are you kidding me?

This is a store,

for God's sakes.

You guys, is it possible for us

to have one day--

just one day

where you two get along?

- Negative.

- No.

You can't keep arguing

with your future father-in-law.

It's not healthy.

No, what's not healthy is his ability

to be such an a**hole.

At least you're not falling

for your boss,

who, as it turns out, is cool as sh*t.

Totally different outside the office.

- What? The auditor chick? Really?

- Yeah.

Most girls you date

can't even add.

Yeah, I know.

I don't know what's happening.

I haven't wanted to go to

a strip club in, like, three weeks.

Today is a big day

for Treadline.

Hell, I'd say it's the biggest day

in this company's history.

Any minute now

we're gonna get word

that we have closed

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