Deniskiny rasskazy Page #5

---

How about rugby?

Sports isn't my thing. Knew

what handball was. Just forgot.

Can you forget that the sky

is blue? That birds can? y?

If you knew,

you'd never forget.

No one ever told

me about it.

This is something you learn when

you're a kid. Yt's all around you.

Snow is white, grass is green,

trains go chug-chug-chug...

Look, handball was on TV

all the time when we were kids!

Not when was a kid.

Heard about woman's

field hockey?

Sport's not my thing.

Why make fun of me?

Know what hockey is.

They have sticks, and skate on ice.

And women don't play hockey.

The field bit isn't even funny.

How would they skate on grass?

- I'm not that stupid, you know.

- Forget it.

It's like I've always known you.

We have so much in common.

- How much?

- This much.

You do everything

the way like it.

You touch me

the way like it.

You kiss me the

way like it.

And this, too.

- What?

- Well... This.

What about your ex?

Was he good at it?

It was a long time ago.

He was too young.

You're different.

Experienced, sensitive.

You must be bored with me.

Don't even know what handball is.

- I'll look it up on the internet.

- You do that.

You bite like a beast.

Like a shark.

A beast? A fish, you mean.

No, they're mammalians.

They're not fish.

Mam-what?

Mammalians! They look like fish,

but they have lungs, like whales.

Aren't you mixing them up

with dolphins?

- Who? Whales?

- Sharks.

No. Sharks are evil.

They have fins and sharp teeth.

Dolphins are sleek and nice.

They live in dolphinariums.

- Right. And who are they?

- Meaning?

What type of

animal are they?

Fish? Must have been sick

when we did that at school.

- Wow! You've got it framed?

- What?

Trotsky. Mean, you

with the ice-pick...

like being in

a serious relationship.

The ones before

weren't serious?

They were, but my

ex was my age.

All he wanted was sex.

You're mature. Gentler.

You talk to me.

Sharks are the most ancient

species of fish. They inhabit...

Fish! You were right!

You make me smarter.

One more kiss for handball.

Forgot to look it up, by the way.

Mind if we do it at your place?

Love Moscow so much!

I've lived here all my life.

There's a memory

round every comer.

For example?

The cafe we went to,

was there in the fall, celebrating

my new car with a friend.

We sat there drinking,

watching the falling leaves.

Thought:
Yt's so cool that

live in this city.

That can get in my car

and drive wherever want,

And drink coffee on a terrace.

Simple things make happiness.

And were those simple things

bought on credit?

Of course.

Buying on credit is cool.

I'm so young, and yet

can drive my own car.

Or rather, sit in traffic.

What memories might you have

of Volokolamsk highway?

Just traffic jams.

- Why don't you listen to radio?

- Why should?

Well, everyone does.

Hate driving in silence.

And hate the radio. Yt's easy to

explain why you do what you do.

But how do you explain

something you don't do?

You're so original.

People use music as background.

They have withdrawal symptoms

if the music stops, they're

afraid of the silence.

OK, no radio, then.

Sing that song about

Murka instead.

Once upon a time

a gang came to Odessa.

"Thieves and "urks" (gangsters)..."

- Who sings that song?

- Sorry?

- What band?

- Are you joking?

Can't know all

the new bands.

I'll just go on singing.

"Thieves and "urks" were

members of that gang"

and they were being

trailed by the Cheka (KGB).

Who's Cheka?

You never heard this word?

Cheka? Yt's a funny song, so it

must be a nickname.

Or urks".

Did you mean arcs?

All right.

We have to talk.

You don't know

who urks are.

OK, you were born in Moscow,

in post-Soviet times, life was good...

But the Cheka?

Cheka? Is that a noun?

Yes.

I'm not sure.

Thought you meant chick.

- Like in American rap songs.

- A chick. Great.

- Ever heard about Trotsky?

- A writer?

Ever heard about World War ll?

The October Revolution?

- Or Lenin? Or Stalin?

- Of course have.

Wasn't great at history.

Preferred maths.

Tell me what you

know about Russia.

Honestly, don't know much

about history.

- I'm scared.

- Don't be.

Well, first there was

the revolution in 1917.

Why? Who fought who?

Lenin overthrew the Tsar. Right?

Did he do it on his own?

- No, wait. There were Bolsheviks.

- And then?

The Soviet regime?

So they killed the Tsar. When?

- In 1917.

- Where?

In the Hermitage Museum.

Great. And no one objected

to the Soviet rule?

No, some people were against it.

But they were arrested.

- And then?

- Then the war began.

Thank God. When?

On June 22, 1941.

Was it the only war, then?

There was World War.

Before the Revolution.

What happened between

the Revolution and 1941?

The Civil War!

Who fought who?

The Bolsheviks were the Reds...

- And the Whites were for the Tsar.

- But the Tsar had been killed, right?

They wanted a different Tsar.

So they were monarchists?

No, just remembered -

they were anti-Bolshevik.

And who won the war?

Lenin. Then he was

replaced by Stalin.

When?

- Didn't study it properly.

- Make a rough guess.

Well, around 1935?

Or 1940, perhaps?

Perhaps?

Lenin?

In 1940?

What happened between

the Revolution and the War?

All remember is a couple

of most important dates.

Know there was Socialism,

collective farms, excesses...

Excesses?

Les deviations?

People were arrested

by mistake and set free later.

- Who set them free?

- Stalin, when he found out.

And then?

Then there was the War.

The Germans attacked us at night.

And Stalin defeated Lenin...

No, Hitler.

A lot of people died, though.

Many thousands.

Thousands?

It doesn't seem right to give

a ballpark figure when

talking about human lives. 100,

It was a terrible war.

How many people died

In the Civil War?

Does history excite

you that much?

Less than in the World War ll,

think. About 100000.

What about the excesses?

It wasn't a war, after all.

Let's say, 25000.

How many in all?

Let's round it up to 500000.

What am doing wrong?

You don't want me any more?

You're tired.

It's not problem at all.

Liked math more. Liked maths.

History was too hard.

Is that all they mean to you,

the people who died?

Just a subject...

Like physics, or maths?

It's not my fault.

Was best at science.

- Do you have any idea of the country you're living in?

- The Russian Federation.

And what do you know about it?

That we're a democracy

with a market economy.

So, you live in a great country

where you can buy a car on credit

and have coffee on a terrace,

and that's enough for you, is it?

No.

Sharks have lungs,

a handball is oval,

and chicks work

for the Cheka. Right?

And Trotsky is a writer.

And 425000 have died

in all wars between WWI

and WWII, including Stalin's terror.

Thanks for rounding

the figure up to 500000.

Didn't study it in depth.

We were born on a heap of bones.

We're f***ing on top of these bones.

Your coffee is made of them.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes