Design for Living Page #6

It's either too late

or too early.

I'm your wife, Max.

That's well put.

Gilda, it's, uh, 9:30.

Oh, that late?

Yes, and I have an appointment

in the morning, 10:15 sharp.

Oh.

Beautiful.

Kaplan and McGuire!

Your friends from now on

as well as mine.

What did they

do that for?

Why, they want

to remember us.

I think

it's very nice of 'em.

This is no time

for remembering.

It would have been much more

tactful of them to forget.

I think it's offensive.

Oh, well, now, that's a closed

chapter in your life.

Anyhow, you've nothing

to worry about

on that score.

I've forgiven you.

Forgiven me! For what?

Oh, that's all right.

Well, I don't want

to be forgiven!

Well, I forgive you

just the same.

It'll make you feel better.

It's their idea

of a joke.

I can just see them

sitting in China,

laughing their heads off.

About what?

It's a rotten trick.

It's cheap.

It shouldn't surprise you.

They never fooled me for a minute.

Hooligans.

Max, I don't care

to discuss them at all.

But if you ever feel

it's necessary to mention them,

don't call them hooligans!

Oh, well, of course,

they have some fine qualities...

Please stop talking

about them!

It's my wedding night.

Leave those two boys

where they are, in China!

I've an appointment

tomorrow morning.

10:
15 sharp. It's important.

Hello, darling.

Hello.

Well, Gilda,

great news for you.

Our party's in the bag.

Really?

Yes, sir.

Guess what?

I give up.

Mr. Egelbaur has accepted.

Is that good?

Say, listen,

I'll guarantee you one thing.

Let this party be a success,

and inside of two weeks,

we'll be invited

to the Egelbaurs.

I see. "An eye for an eye.

A tooth for a tooth. "

Oh, don't talk like that.

Strump and Egelbaur

are figuring

on the greatest publicity campaign

in the history of cement.

Oh, what about the Strumps?

Don't we have to invite them, too?

Mr. Strump comes first.

Strump and Egelbaur.

No, no, no. We can't

have them at the same time.

They're not

on speaking terms.

That's right. I forgot about

Mr. Strump and Mrs. Egelbaur.

Oh, don't mention that.

Don't even breathe it.

I won't.

You promise?

Promise.

Word of honor?

Cross my heart.

And please don't worry

about the Strumps.

A week from Tuesday,

we have the Strumps.

That's diplomacy.

And if this Strump party is a big social

success, is there any chance

we'll be invited

to the Strumps?

It's a cinch.

What a season.

Everybody, please.

Everybody who wants to play

20 questions, all in the living room.

Everybody who wants to play

20 questions, all in the living room.

Everybody who wants

to play...

Gilda. What are you

doing here?

Just resting

between rounds.

Oh, we're going to play

20 questions in the living room.

Mr. Egelbaur's requested it.

Oh, Max.

Oh, it's going to be

great fun.

But I've had so much fun

all evening.

It's almost too much

for me.

Post office

with Kaplan and McGuire.

Drop the handkerchief

with the linoleum group...

But Mr. Egelbaur...

Well, I've just played going

to Jerusalem with Mr. Egelbaur.

Now he wants to play

20 questions.

Oh, you've got to come.

There's no way of getting out of it.

All right.

We'll start right away.

Shh.

All right, Gilda.

Is it animal, vegetable,

or mineral?

Are you expected?

No.

Not exactly expected.

Anticipated, hoped for,

and dreamed about.

Do you wish

to see Mr. Plunkett?

No!

Positively no!

Mrs. Plunkett,

if you please.

Mrs. Plunkett is engaged

in playing 20 questions.

She can't be disturbed.

Oh. Oh, I see.

20 questions.

Hmm.

It makes it

rather difficult.

Well, uh,

what you say, Inspector?

I beg your pardon.

This is Inspector Knox.

How do you do, sir?

How do you do?

Well, Sergeant, uh...

Excuse me. Sgt. O'Toole.

How do you do?

How do you do, sir?

Headquarters.

Shall I notify them?

Oh, no,

don't bother, please.

We'll, uh, we'll wait.

Any trouble?

No, no, not at all.

Uh, we're only here in behalf of

the Policeman's Benefit Ball.

About some tickets?

Righto.

All right.

Wait, if you want to.

Well, Inspector,

how did the butler strike you?

A dual personality.

Hmm.

Shall we, uh, look over

the premises?

Righto, Sergeant.

We may run

into some valuable clues.

Shall we start

with the kitchen?

No. Let's begin

with the boudoir.

Ah.

Animal, vegetable,

or mineral?

Animal.

Gilda.

I won't do it. I guessed

Mr. Egelbaur in 10 questions,

and that's enough.

I'm worn out.

Gilda, I insist.

I won't do it.

You-you're ruining

everything.

I don't care!

I won't ask

Mr. Egelbaur to sing.

All right, then I'll ask him myself.

- Fine.

And you'll have

to come and listen.

Nothing doing.

But he... he... he

brought his music.

I'm not going to listen

to that Egelbaur sing!

I won't! I won't!

I won't!

Oh, please, Max,

let me rest.

All right. Get your rest.

Take two minutes,

and come down.

Egelbaur.

~ Egelbaur! ~

~ Egelbaur! ~

~ Egelbaur ~~

Well, dear me.

Look who's here.

How did you get in?

Shall we tell her?

I would.

We have nothing to conceal.

The stork brought us.

I... I thought

you were in China.

We moved.

Shall we sit down?

Yeah, please.

That's Tom.

And that's George.

And this is Gilda.

No, that's not Gilda.

That's Mrs. Plunkett.

No, that's Gilda.

Ah, let's see.

Well, there's

a certain resemblance.

You're right.

It's Mrs. Plunkett.

But from here, from here she looks

a teeny-weeny bit like Max.

Maybe it's Mr. Plunkett.

Well, I doubt it.

~ Falling leaf ~

~ And fading tree ~~

He really fell in the river?

Feet first.

What's this?

What's going on here?

We have callers

from China.

What are you doing here?

Shh.

We're hiding

from Mr. Egelbaur.

Shh.

Listen, this is no time

for jokes.

I haven't invited you, I don't want

you here, and neither does Gilda.

Uh, Gilda,

you must come down.

Egelbaur's on

his second song.

Egelbaur! Egelbaur!

What am I gonna say?

What am I gonna do?

One moment,

Mr. Plunkett. Question.

Who is this Mr. Egelbaur?

You see, Mr. Egelbaur

is not only a first-rate singer,

but he's also

the head of Strump and...

I want you two to leave these

premises at once.

Well, Inspector,

what do you think?

Animal, vegetable,

or mineral?

Vegetable.

~ Sky ~

~ Goodbye ~

~ Summer ~

~ Goodbye, goodbye ~

~ Goodbye ~~

Egelbaur!

~ Goodbye ~

~ Goodbye ~~

You arranged all this.

You were expecting 'em.

Don't be silly. I arranged nothing.

I knew nothing about it.

Well, how did they get here, then?

The stork brought them.

Oh, I see. I see

what you mean.

Hooligans. That's what they are

and that's what they always will be!

Maybe they are.

Maybe I'm a hooligan, too.

Maybe I want

to be a hooligan.

No. No, Gilda. No.

No, you don't. No.

Now, we've got

to calm down.

You want

a glass of water?

No, thank you.

Now, I'm willing to drop the whole matter.

I forgive you.

Are you starting

to forgive me again?

Just relax and be a good girl.

I'll handle this.

Uh, you let me

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