Desk Set Page #3

there's a glass wall behind you.

Who do you think you're kidding?

Everybody knows you haven't

got a brain in your head.

The only way you keep your job

is by being nice to me.

- Well, a girl has to work.

- Work? Oh, yes, work.

Bunny, take a look

at this financial report I drew up.

I didn't wanna turn it in

until you had a look at it.

Sure. I'd be glad to.

Take a look at projected expenditures.

See if they look all right.

Yes, I will.

I don't know how I'd manage

without you, Bunny.

I've missed you.

Feels like I haven't seen you in years.

A week ago Monday.

Well, the, uh, annual

board meeting is coming up,

and the boys upstairs have been moving

in on me, putting on the pressure.

Oh, it's just

their annual war dance.

I don't know why I get so nervous.

I've been here long enough,

you'd think I wouldn't let it get me.

Mmm. They do that to you.

- It's what I said before.

- Hmm?

Their annual war dance.

Oh.

Every year they have the same dance.

By the way, they're having that dance

at the country club on the...

You just happened

to mention it one day.

That's right.

Good memory.

You're terrific.

No, it's just that I associate certain

things with certain... other things.

I should have asked you sooner.

You didn't make

another date, I hope.

N... Uh... oh.

L- I'd better look that up.

- When did you say that was?

- The 12th.

That's on a, um, Saturday.

Mm-hmm.

Ah. As it happens,

I find I am free on that evening.

Good. Good.

Then you'll come?

I'd love to, Mike.

Oh, I'd better mark that down

so that I don't forget it.

Yes, you'd better do that.

We'll have fun.

Lots of fun.

Mike, if you don't get out of here,

I'll never get this done.

Yes, ma'am.

Give that a good going-over

and send it up this afternoon.

Or better yet,

why don't you bring it up?

I'll send it up.

All right. Don't forget, we'll drive up

to the club on the 11 th.

- The 12th, Mike.

- 11 th. You're coming for the weekend.

- I am?

- You are.

Oh.

Then if it snows,

we can get in some skiing.

And if it doesn't,

we can just sit in front of the fire...

and talk.

- Hmm?

- Mmm.

- Bye.

- Bye.

Bye, girls. Always a pleasure seeing

your freshly scrubbed, smiling faces.

Remember our motto: Be on time, do

your work, be down in the bar at 5:30.

Coffee break. Better hurry

if we want to get a seat.

Peg.

- Save a seat for me. I'll be right down.

- Okay.

Oh, Peg! He asked me!

Finally, he asked me!

Oh, Bunny! Bunny, I'm so glad!

- Did you set the date?

- Well, it was always on the 12th of...

- Date for what?

- The wedding.

What wedding?

He invited me to the dance.

For heaven's sake,

what'd you expect me to think?

"Oh, Peg, he asked me!

Finally, he asked me!"

Well, he also invited me

for the weekend, Peg.

Ladies and gentlemen, you have

just listened to another episode...

in the life of Bunny Watson,

spare tire.

Ohh!

Ohh!

Reference.

Miss Watson.

Let me jot that down.

Yes. Yes, I'm positive

we've got that.

Hold on a minute, please.

Oh, dry up.!

I'll take the call.

- Who's that?

- Sumner.

Oh. Thank you.

Hello. Reference department.

Sumner speaking.

I'm afraid Miss Saylor isn't here

at the moment. Can I help you?

What's that?

Uh, wait just a minute

till I get a pencil, please.

All right, shoot.

Well, l...

I mean, would you mind

repeating that?

Reduced, yes.

Black velvet, strapless.

With what kind of a scarf?

Puce?

I know how to spell it...

P- U-C-E.

Right.

I'll tell her

as soon as she comes in.

Thanks a lot.

Miss Watson, w-who is this?

There she is.

She's our trademark.

She's been with the company

since it first started 36 years ago.

Huh.

I'm not surprised

you didn't recognize her.

- She's changed her hair.

- Aha.

Yes, I do have it. I'll send it down

by messenger. You're welcome.

Uh, Miss Watson,

are you free for lunch?

- Lunch? Me and you?

- Yes. Why?

Is there some company policy

that prohibits two people...

No. No, no, no.

Uh, I'll check

my appointment book.

Fine.

I just remembered.

I'm free.

Oh, good, good. I've got a lot

of questions to ask you.

Lunch is as good a time as any

to get 'em over with.

- Quarter of one all right?

- Fine.

- I'll pick you up here.

- Good.

Say, Sadie, what time is it?

Oh. Hmm. Thanks.

- Hi.

- Hi.

- You being stood up?

- Your guess is as good as mine.

- All I know is, I'm starved.

- Good.

If he takes you to the Pavilion,

try the chicken with truffles.

- I hear it's marvelous.

- Poulard truffee.

I may eat myself

right into next week.

- Take your time. I'll mind the store.

- Okay.

Hello, Miss Watson.

Am I late? Sorry.

I was beginning to think

I'd misunderstood you.

Oh, no, no, no. Come on.

Uh, tell me, Miss Watson,

what training

have you had for your job?

Well, a college education,

and after that

a library course at Columbia.

I was gonna take a PhD,

but I ran out of money.

Is this an interview? I mean, I would've

had my hair done or something.

No, no, no.

Just getting the vital statistics.

- Down?

- No, thank you.

Continue.

Well, my parents were both teachers

in the public school system,

so we didn't

have much money.

Um, I've read every New York newspaper

backward and forward...

for the past 15 years.

Mm-hmm.

I don't smoke. I only drink champagne

when I'm lucky enough to get it.

My hair is naturally natural.

I live alone.

- And so do you.

- How do you know that?

Because you're wearing

one brown sock and one black one.

You're right!

If you lived with anybody,

they would've told you.

That's one of the advantages of living

alone... nobody tells you anything.

- Up?

- Yes, yes. Thank you, thank you.

Nice place.

I found it the other day

when I was in the building.

- Have you been up here before?

- Many times... in July.

Lunch.

Now, we have, uh, roast beef

and ham and cheese.

- You can have your choice.

- Oh.

A picnic.

Ideal place for concentration.

Isn't it?

No waiters, no people, no telephones.

No central heating.

- Plenty of hot coffee.

- Mmm.

Have a seat.

Thank you...

Oh.

Now, I have a kind of

a personality questionnaire here.

Some of these questions

may seem a little silly to you,

but you'd be surprised what they

indicate about general intelligence...

and adaptability and so forth.

And they may also be a bit

of a tease for your memory.

Oh. A tease, huh?

Just answer the question,

you know, without, uh, dw...

- Don't dwell on the question.

- Mm-mmm. I won't.

"Uh, often when we meet people

for the first time,

"some physical characteristic

strikes us.

What is the first thing

you notice in a person?"

Whether the person

is male or female.

Uh, this is a little

mathematical problem.

Mm-hmm.

Oh, uh, celery and olives?

Four olives, three pieces of celery.

- Right.

- Uh-huh.

Uh, that doesn't happen

to be the question.

Oh.

Now, "A train started out

at Grand Central...

"with 17 passengers aboard

and a crew of nine.

"At 125th Street

four got off and nine got on.

Rate this script:5.0 / 1 vote