Despicable Me 2 Page #12

GRU:

Quack! Quack! Quack!

INT:
BATHROOM - DAY

Gru brushes his teeth with two toothbrushes. He jokingly

arranges them in his mouth like walrus tusks, then BARKS like

a seal.

INT:
KITCHEN - DAY

HEART-SHAPED PANCAKES are served to the girls sitting at the

table. Edith makes a face at getting hers.

AGNES:

Yeah!

MARGO:

So I take it the date went well?

GRU:

No! It was horrible!

He laughs gleefully. The girls exchange looks. What?

Then he skips out of the room, dancing with a minion in the

kitchen. Agnes’s face lights up. Yes!

DESPICABLE ME 2 CINCO & KEN DRAFT 68.

EXT:
STREET - DAY

Gru makes his way to work--on foot:

--he strolls down the sidewalk.

--he passes a MAILMAN and gives him a high five.

GRU:

High-five!

Then a POLICEMAN, with whom he exchanges mimed gunfire.

Then a NUN, with whom he bumps rumps.

GRU (CONT’D)

Bump it.

Seeing something offscreen, Gru GASPS.

--he stops traffic so a happy family of DUCKS can cross the

street.

--he plays ultimate frisbee with a bunch of COLLEGE KIDS,

balancing the spinning disc on his pointy nose.

--he joins a group of OLD LADIES doing Tai Chi.

--he “air” drums with a couple of BUCKET DRUMMERS on the

curb.

--he picks a flower, then walks by a MAN and a WOMAN sitting

alone with their backs to each other at a cafe. He quickly

turns their chairs around so they find each other and hands

the man the flower for the woman. They smile and Gru goes

his merry way.

INT:
SHOPPING MALL - DAY

Gru continues happily dancing through the mall on his way to

the cupcake shop. He shimmies with a FAT WOMAN on the

escalator, then GAPS and stops suddenly upon seeing Eagle

Hair Club closed. The MUSIC abruptly ends.

Gru sees Silas speaking with an AVL AGENT. Gru approaches

him.

GRU:

(confused)

Mr. Ramsbottom?

SILAS:

Oh, hello.

DESPICABLE ME 2 CINCO & KEN DRAFT 69.

GRU:

What are you doing here?

SILAS:

We got him.

GRU:

Got who?

SILAS:

Floyd Eaglesan! Our agents located

a secret room in his shop last

night, and uh, discovered this!

He snaps his fingers and an AVL agent hands him a METAL

CANISTER in a ziploc bag. Silas holds it up.

SILAS (CONT’D)

It’s empty, but we found traces of

the PX-41 serum in it. He’s our

man. So somehow, in spite of your

incompetence, we solved this one.

TWO AVL AGENTS carry Floyd away in handcuffs.

FLOYD:

I was framed! You won’t get away

with this! Get your mitts off of

me! I am a legitimate businessman!

Gru turns back to Silas. He is stunned by this.

GRU:

Ah. Alright. So...what now?

SILAS:

Well, now you’re free to go back to

your “business.” Mmmm. Jams and

jellies. And it looks like Agent

Wilde will be transferring to our

Australian branch.

GRU:

(in shock)

Australia...?

SILAS:

Yes. But thank you--for

everything. And by everything of

course I mean...nothing.

(beat)

Toodle pip and cheerio, Mr. Gru.

DESPICABLE ME 2 CINCO & KEN DRAFT 70.

Silas walks away to join the AVL agents. Gru stares blankly,

sadly. And then Lucy approaches him.

LUCY:

Hey there.

GRU:

Hey.

LUCY:

So...we got him.

GRU:

Yay. That’s great.

(beat)

And now you’re going to Australia?

LUCY:

Well, it’s not definite yet. Still

figuring it out. Already been

working on my accent.

(Australian accent)

Wallaby. Diggeri-doo. Hugh

Jackman.

(beat)

So...um. Pretty excited...

GRU:

Great. Well...good luck.

LUCY:

Thanks. You too.

(remembering)

Oh. Here. I wanted to give you

this.

She holds out her lipstick taser.

GRU:

Your lipstick taser?

LUCY:

Yeah, it’s just a memento. Just,

you know, from the first time we

met.

GRU:

Oh. Thank you, Lucy.

Gru accepts the lipstick taser.

SILAS (O.S.)

Agent Wilde!

DESPICABLE ME 2 CINCO & KEN DRAFT 71.

Lucy ignores this and just waits, not wanting to leave. She

and Gru stand there awkwardly.

GRU:

Well... it looks like they need

you, so...

LUCY:

Yeah, I uh, I better go. Bye, Gru.

And she leaves Gru. He stands there. Completely miserable.

EXT:
STREET - DAY

Gru walks back home, completely depressed.

Walks past the college kids playing frisbee. Catches the

frisbee and tosses it down the sewer.

Walks past the group of bucket drummers. As he passes he

KICKS one of the buckets.

Walks past the old ladies doing Tai Chi. As they balance on

one leg he pushes them all and they all fall over.

EXT:
GRU’S HOUSE - NIGHT

It’s pouring rain. Gru sits alone outside his house.

Miserable.

And then an UMBRELLA approaches him. It looks like it’s

traveling on its own. But when it gets closer it lifts up,

revealing Agnes.

AGNES:

I brought you an umbrella.

Gru takes the umbrella and Agnes joins him. They both huddle

under it.

GRU:

Ah, thank you.

AGNES:

What’re you doing out here?

GRU:

Remember when you said that I liked

Lucy? Well, it turns out...you’re

right.

Agnes’s face lights up.

DESPICABLE ME 2 CINCO & KEN DRAFT 72.

AGNES:

Really?

GRU:

Yes, but...well, she’s moving away.

(sadly)

I’m never going to see her again.

Agnes’s face falls. All her hopes and dreams shattered. But

she tries to encourage Gru.

AGNES:

Is there anything I can do to help?

GRU:

Oh, I don’t--I don’t think so,

sweetheart.

AGNES:

Well, is there anything you could

do?

Gru thinks.

INT:
GRU’S OFFICE - DAY

Gru is on the PHONE.

GRU:

“Hello, Lucy. This is Gru. I know

up to this point our relationship

has been strictly professional, and

you’re leaving for Australia and

all, but...”

(struggles to get it out)

Okay, here is the question. “Would

you like to--to go out on a date?”

PULL BACK TO REVEAL Dave the minion standing across from Gru,

pretending to be on a cell phone on the other end of the

line. And wearing a RED-HAIRED WIG. He shrugs.

DAVE:

Eh, no.

GRU:

Okay, that’s not helping.

He hangs up.

GRU (CONT’D)

All right. Here we go. For real

this time.

DESPICABLE ME 2 CINCO & KEN DRAFT 73.

He stares at Lucy’s card. Then turns to the phone. It’s a

stand-off. He does stretches and calisthenics to psych

himself up. He SIGHS.

GRU (CONT’D)

I can do this.

He stares down the phone again. It sits there, taunting him.

We cut back and forth between Gru and the phone, until

finally-

GRU (CONT’D)

Agh! I hate you!

He produces a FLAMETHROWER and burns up the phone. Dave

dives out of the way.

GRU (CONT’D)

(satisfied)

Ah.

RIIIIIING !!! The FIRE ALARM goes off.

CHOP! Suddenly AXES chop through the wall. Several minions

in FIREMEN’S GEAR enter. Another minion imitates a siren

through a bullhorn.

SIREN MINION:

Beedo! Beedo! Beedo! Beedo!

One continues chopping everything in sight with his axe, then

chops his way right through the wall of the house and falls

outside. Another minion brings in a MASSIVE HOSE, turns it

on, and goes flying around the room as it whips around like a

snake. Dave tests out a fire extinguisher.

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