Despicable Me 2 Page #4

LITTLE GRU:

Excuse me, Lisa?

But she doesn't notice him. He tries again.

LISA:

(to her friends)

I was talking to Billy the other

day.

GIRLS:

No way.

LISA:

He is so cute.

Gru clears his throat.

LISA (CONT’D)

And I think he likes me.

GRU:

Hey Lisa, I was wondering if you--

Gru reaches out and taps her shoulder with his pointer

finger.

Then one of the other little girls points to Gru's finger on

Lisa's shoulder.

DESPICABLE ME 2 CINCO & KEN DRAFT 18.

GIRL:

Ewww! Gru touched Lisa! Gru

touched Lisa!

The other girls turn and squeal, horrified.

GIRLS:

Eeeeewww!

A little buck-toothed red-haired girl shouts out to the

entire playground.

RED HAIRED GIRL:

Lisa's got Grooties!

The playground erupts with SCREAMS and everyone turns and

runs away.

Little Gru is left alone. Crushed.

INT:
GIRLS’ BEDROOM - NIGHT

Gru comes out of the flashback.

GRU:

Scared? Of what? Women?! No,

that’s bonkers! I just-- I have no

interest in going on a date, that’s

all. Case closed. I’m not scared--

of women... or dates... let’s go to

bed.

Gru gives each girl a goodnight kiss.

GRU (CONT’D)

Goodnight, Edith.

Then he goes over to Margo, who’s already in bed.

GRU (CONT’D)

Goodnight, Margo.

She continues texting as he gives her a kiss.

GRU (CONT’D)

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Well, hold

the horses. Who are you texting?

MARGO:

No one. Just my friend Avery.

DESPICABLE ME 2 CINCO & KEN DRAFT 19.

GRU:

Avery... Avery? Is that a girl’s

name or a boy’s name?

MARGO:

Does it matter?

GRU:

No, no, it doesn’t matter... Unless

it’s a boy!

AGNES:

I know what makes you a boy.

Gru turns to Agnes, concerned.

GRU:

Uh...oooh...you...do?

AGNES:

Your bald head.

Gru nods, relieved.

GRU:

Oh, yes...

AGNES:

It's really smooth. Sometimes I

stare at it and imagine a little

chick popping out. Peep peep peep.

Gru sighs and gives her a kiss.

GRU:

Goodnight, Agnes. Never get older.

Gru turns out the light and leaves the room.

INT:
LAB - DAY

Gru rides the elevator tube down to his lab, passing minions

in various stages of jelly making. A sign reading, JELLY

TESTING AREA” has been hastily pasted over a nuclear warning

sign.

A SUPERVISOR MINION checks his clipboard as the MINION next

to him steals a banana from his pocket. He turns, but the

Minion who stole the banana has hidden it in his mouth. We

see the ends of the banana pushing out his cheeks.

SUPERVISOR MINION

Hey, oh! Me banana!

DESPICABLE ME 2 CINCO & KEN DRAFT 20.

The Minion with the banana in his mouth shrugs.

A single apple is passed down a line of Minions in the least

efficient way possible.

A few Minions mash fruits in large vats ala “I Love Lucy.”

One wears a bunch of fruit on his head like Carmen Miranda

and sings the CHIQUITA BANANA song. His supervisor comes

over and tells him to get back to work.

The Minion tries to get out of the vat of fruit, but slips

and falls down into a large test-tube filled with mashed

fruit.

Then all of the mashed fruit is flushed down a large hole

where it is injected into jelly jars passing by on a conveyor

belt. The trapped Minion is injected into one of the jars.

Gru enters the lab and greets the minions.

GRU:

Hey, Tim, nice haircut!

He points at Tim.

GRU (CONT’D)

Donnie, hang in there, baby! It’s

almost Friday.

Gru high-fives Donnie as he approaches Dr. Nefario.

GRU (CONT’D)

So, how’s today’s batch, Dr.

Nefario?

DR. NEFARIO

I developed a new formula which

allowed me to get every known kind

of berry into one flavor of jelly.

Gru sticks his finger in and tastes the purple goo in the

jar. Makes a disgusted face, then attempts a smile.

GRU:

(faking it)

That tastes good...

(gags)

Love the flavor of that...

DR. NEFARIO

It’s horrible, isn’t it?

DESPICABLE ME 2 CINCO & KEN DRAFT 21.

GRU:

No! No! Oh, we’re making great

progress!

(to the Minions)

Here, try some of this.

He hands a jar to a minion, who tries it. He GAGS! Another

minion tastes some and scrapes it off his tongue. They smash

the jar and all the minions run away, disgusted.

GRU (CONT’D)

Whoa... okay, just because

everybody hates it doesn’t mean

it’s not good.

Dr. Nefario hangs his head.

DR. NEFARIO

Listen, Gru. There’s something

I’ve been meaning to talk to you

about for some time now.

GRU:

What? What’s wrong?

DR. NEFARIO

(clears his throat)

I miss being evil. Sinister plots,

large-scale crimes...It’s what I

live for! I mean, don’t you think

there’s more to our future than

jelly?

GRU:

Well, I’m also considering a line

of jams...

DR. NEFARIO

Um...the thing is, Gru...

(deep breath)

I've had an offer of employment

elsewhere.

GRU:

Dr. Nefario! Come on, you’re

kidding, right?

DR. NEFARIO

It's a great opportunity for me,

bigger lab, more evil, full

dental...

Dr. Nefario presses a button and his stuff folds itself up

into a traveling suitcase.

DESPICABLE ME 2 CINCO & KEN DRAFT 22.

Dr. Nefario hangs his head. Gru stares back at his old

friend.

GRU:

Very well. Let us give you the

proper send-off.

(calls off screen)

Minions!

INT:
GRU’S LAB - LATER

Seven minions are lined up with seven fart guns. Dr. Nefario

sits in his scooter.

GRU:

The highest honor awarded. To Dr.

Nefario for your years of service.

The twenty-one fart gun salute!

FART! FART! FART!

Dr. Nefario COUGHS. His eyes are watering (and not only from

the smell).

DR. NEFARIO

Uh, I counted twenty-two.

Dave CHUCKLES, guilty. Dr. Nefario fires up the scooter.

DR. NEFARIO (CONT’D)

Farewell, my friends.

The minions CRY. Dr. Nefario pushes another button on the

scooter, transforming it into flying mode. He GUNS the

engine and it begins flying away. At the slowest pace

possible. Everyone just stands there awkwardly.

DR. NEFARIO (CONT’D)

This may take a while. Go about

your business.

Everyone walks off.

DR. NEFARIO (CONT’D)

I miss you already!

Gru examines Lucy’s business card. Makes a decision.

EXT:
GRU’S HOUSE - NIGHT

The shadow of a mysterious figure approaches Gru’s front

door.

DESPICABLE ME 2 CINCO & KEN DRAFT 23.

EXT:
GRU’S FOYER - NIGHT

A Minion wears a French Maid’s outfit and SINGS as he vacuums

the floor. The doorbell rings.

The Minion opens the door to see who it is.

FRENCH MAID MINION

Hello?

A shadow falls across the terrified minion as something

unseen abducts him.

EXT:
GRU’S FOYER - LATER

The vacuum moves back and forth across the floor by itself.

Another Minion walks by wearing a different Maid outfit. He

doesn’t see the other Minion and closes the door.

Then he opens it again, cleans the doorknob, and closes it.

INT:
FAMILY ROOM - DAY

It’s morning at Gru’s house. Margo and Agnes sit on the

couch with a LAPTOP. Edith leans over the top of the couch,

looking on.

AGNES:

Are you sure we should be doing

this?

MARGO:

Yes, it’s for his own good.

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