Despicable Me 2 Page #5

On the screen is a DATING WEBSITE (CREATE-A-DATE. NET)--the

girls are creating a profile for Gru.

MARGO (CONT’D)

Okay, we need to choose a picture.

Margo clicks through pictures of Gru. Each one is worse than

the last.

AGNES:

No.

CLICK.

AGNES (CONT’D)

Scary.

CLICK.

DESPICABLE ME 2 CINCO & KEN DRAFT 24.

EDITH:

Weird.

CLICK. The next picture is of Gru in a bathing suit. The

girls react in horror.

GIRLS:

Aaaaaah!!!

Margo covers Agnes’s eyes.

AGNES:

What is that?!

Gru enters the family room.

GRU:

Good morning, girls! I have an

announcement to make.

MARGO:

Hey, what celebrity do you look

like?

GRU:

Ummm...Bruce Willis.

The girls stare at him blankly.

MARGO:

Mmmm...no.

AGNES:

Humpty Dumpty!

EDITH:

Ooh, Gollum!

The girls LAUGH.

GRU:

Okay, what are you doing?

AGNES:

We’re signing you up for online

dating!

GRU:

Oh, okay...WHAT?! No, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no.

Gru grabs the laptop away from the girls.

DESPICABLE ME 2 CINCO & KEN DRAFT 25.

EDITH:

Aw come on, it’s fun.

MARGO:

And it’s time for you to get out

there.

GRU:

No! Stop! No one is ever getting

out there! Ever!

Gru hands a Minion the laptop, accidentally hitting him in

the face.

GRU (CONT’D)

Okay, now for the announcement: I

have accepted a new job.

MARGO:

Whoa--really?

GRU:

Yes, I have been recruited by a top

secret agency to go undercover and

save the world!

EDITH:

You’re gonna be a spy?!

GRU:

That’s right, baby! Gru’s back in

the game! With gadgets and weapons

and cool cars...the whole deal.

EDITH:

Awesome!

Agnes looks up at him in awe.

AGNES:

Are you really gonna save the

world?

Gru looks at Agnes.

GRU:

Yes. Yes I am.

He coolly puts on a pair of sunglasses.

We pan to Dave mimicking Gru with a pair of sunglasses.

DAVE:

Mocha!

DESPICABLE ME 2 CINCO & KEN DRAFT 26.

And then to Kevin dressed in an Amish beard and tie.

KEVIN:

Cacao!

And then Stuart dressed as a little girl with pigtails.

STUART:

Papadam?

EXT:
MALL - DAY

Establishing.

INT:
MALL - SAME

Gru comes down the escalator wearing the sunglasses, with the

three disguised Minions behind him. Stuart gets his dress

caught in the escalator. It comes off and he hides in a

nearby potted plant.

Gru glances at a store called the “EAGLE HAIR CLUB.” He then

arrives at a charming, pink CUPCAKE STORE. The sign reads,

“BAKE MY DAY” Gru frowns and takes off his sunglasses.

GRU:

Hm. “Bake My Day.” Blech.

INT:
BAKE MY DAY - CONTINUOUS

Gru unlocks the door and enters. JINGLE! BELLS on the door

ring. The inside is sugary and clean and quaint. Gru takes

it all in. Then turns to the minions.

GRU:

Alright, here is the cupcake recipe

I got off the internet.

The minions excitedly grab the recipe and head for the

kitchen. Gru kicks Stuart, who is still staggering around in

the potted plant.

GRU (CONT’D)

And don’t go nuts with the

sprinkles!

Gru is left alone. He looks around. Sees a BUNNY CUPCAKE in

a glass cake dish. Then a SHARK CUPCAKE in the next cake

dish. And in the next dish he sees Lucy’s head. She makes a

funny face.

DESPICABLE ME 2 CINCO & KEN DRAFT 27.

Gru SCREAMS, which causes Lucy to SCREAM and jump up, hitting

her head on one of the shelves, sending all of the CUPCAKES

flying.

Lucy immediately goes into action, using incredible and

frankly weird-looking MARTIAL ARTS MOVES to dispatch the

cupcakes as they fly toward her.

LUCY:

Ha! Yaa! Ho! Ooof! Zaaa! Ay-ayay-

ay-ay!

She successfully eliminates all of the cupcakes, then turns

to Gru, out of breath.

LUCY (CONT’D)

Whoo. Wasn’t expecting that.

(strikes a martial arts

pose)

Or was I?

Gru has a cupcake stuck to the top of his head, frosting side

down. Lucy gestures as if he’s got a little food on his

face.

LUCY (CONT’D)

Ooh... you got... You got... a

little...

The cupcake slowly slides down, then falls to the floor. It

leaves a long smear on Gru’s face.

LUCY (CONT’D)

Here, I’ll-- I’ll get it.

Gru stands frozen as she tries to clean him up.

LUCY (CONT’D)

Oh, that’s just spreading...um...

GRU:

Alright, alright. I got it. I got

it!... Stop it!

Lucy backs off.

LUCY:

Oh! I’ll let you get it.

Gru SIGHS and wipes the frosting off his face.

DESPICABLE ME 2 CINCO & KEN DRAFT 28.

LUCY (CONT’D)

Yeah, what you just saw there was a

little something new I’ve been

working on. It’s a combination of

Jujitsu, Krav Maga, Aztec warfare,

and krumping.

GRU:

Okay, that’s weird--why are you

here?

LUCY:

On assignment from Silas. I’m your

new partner. Yay!

GRU:

What?! No, no “yay.” Ramsbottom

didn’t say anything about a

partner.

LUCY:

Well, seems that because of your

checkered past, everyone else

refused to work with you. But not

me. I stepped up. And I’m new, so

I kind of have to do what they tell

me anyway.

Gru is about to respond when Dave the minion comes out the

kitchen door. He carries a cupcake in the shape of a Minion.

DAVE:

Walla!

Immediately Lucy moves with lightning-quick reflexes. She

smashes his cupcake, flips him into the air, and pins him to

the counter. Dave SCREAMS.

LUCY:

You know this guy?

GRU:

Yes, he’s one of my minions.

LUCY:

Oh, I’m sorry. I should have

known.

She releases him.

LUCY (CONT’D)

You’re free to go.

DESPICABLE ME 2 CINCO & KEN DRAFT 29.

Dave stares at Lucy. Immediately smitten. A magical glow

appears around her as romantic music plays. We go into

Dave’s fantasy.

EXT:
BEACH - DAY - FANTASY

Dave and Lucy run along a beach together hand in hand.

EXT:
FIELD - DAY - FANTASY

Dave and Lucy have a romantic picnic together. They toast

each other with champagne. Dave drinks from the bottle.

EXT:
BRIDGE - NIGHT - FANTASY

Lucy and Dave sit on the railing of a moonlit footbridge.

Both fire ROCKETS into the air to create fireworks and are

about to kiss when-

GRU (V.O.)

Dave...

INT:
BAKE MY DAY - DAY

Back to reality, where Dave is staring up at Lucy,

lovestruck.

GRU:

Earth to Dave! You can leave now.

Dave goes back into the kitchen, never taking his eyes off of

Lucy.

INT:
MALL - DAY

CLOSE ON the Giant Cupcake on top of the cupcake shop. The

CHERRY on the Giant Cupcake rotates, revealing a CAMERA

hidden inside. VZZZZZT! The lens zooms.

GRU (O.S.)

Now, what do we got? Who’s on the

list? Fire ‘em at me.

INT:
BAKE MY DAY - SAME

Gru and Lucy stand next to each other under a domed lamp

lowered from the ceiling.

DESPICABLE ME 2 CINCO & KEN DRAFT 30.

Inside the dome of the lamp, Gru and Lucy are uncomfortably

close together looking at a video screen.

LUCY:

First suspect...Hedda Blumentoft,

proprietor of Mum’s the Word Floral

Shop.

The camera moves over to Mum’s the Word Floral Shop and HEDDA

BLUMENTOFT.

GRU:

No. Not her.

LUCY:

Okay, moving on...

The camera moves over to the “Stuff-A-Bear” store. CHUCK

KINNEY, a small perky man, holds up an empty teddy bear skin

for a little boy.

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