Despicable Me 2 Page #6

LUCY (CONT’D)

Chuck Kinney, owner of “Stuff-A-

Bear.”

Kinney shoves the teddy bear’s butt onto a sharp metal tube.

The bear inflates until it EXPLODES into a torrent of bear

skin and stuffing. The little boy CRIES.

LUCY (CONT’D)

Ooh.

GRU:

I don’t think so.

DING-A-LING-A-LING! The bell rings on the cupcake shop’s

front door, signaling a customer.

EDUARDO (O.S.)

Hello?

GRU:

Oh!

Gru and Lucy quickly hide their equipment, look up and see

EDUARDO PEREZ at the door. They try to act natural.

EDUARDO:

Buenos dias, my friends! I am

Eduardo Perez, owner of Salsa &

Salsa Restaurant, across the mall.

Now open for breakfast. And you

are?

DESPICABLE ME 2 CINCO & KEN DRAFT 31.

GRU:

Gru. And this is Lucy. And we are

closed.

EDUARDO:

This is just gonna take un momento.

I am throwing a big Cinco de Mayo

party, and I am going to need two

hundred of your best cupcakes

decorated with the Mexican flag.

It looks something like this.

He rips open his shirt, revealing a TATTOO of the Mexican

flag on his chest.

EDUARDO (CONT’D)

What do you think?

He flexes and makes it wave. Gru hides his eyes.

GRU:

Look away!

Lucy stares at it.

LUCY:

You-- Whoa... Hooo...

EDUARDO:

Anyway, I have to go. It’s all

settled! I pick ‘em up next week!

Have a good day. Come by if you

get a chance, okay?

He exits. Gru GROANS, relieved. Finally!

Then Eduardo pops back in.

EDUARDO (CONT’D)

And welcome to the mall family!

Gru studies Eduardo’s face and GASPS. He pictures Eduardo in

a red luchador mask surrounded by flames. Eduardo turns and

leaves. As soon as the door closes-

GRU:

(whispers)

El Macho.

LUCY:

What?

GRU:

But it couldn’t be...

DESPICABLE ME 2 CINCO & KEN DRAFT 32.

LUCY:

Wha-- What? What couldn’t be??

GRU:

That guy looks exactly like a

villain named El Macho. From about

twenty years ago.

EXT:
DESERT - DAY - FLASHBACK

Classic Spaghetti western sepia-toned shot of El Macho

looking menacing. He looks like the large Hispanic man from

the mall, only younger and wearing a Lucha Libre outfit and

mask (a mask which looks similar to the one Gru imagined).

El Macho pushes the BARKEEP out of the way and grabs a large

bottle from behind the bar.

GRU (V.O.)

He was ruthless. He was dangerous.

And as the name implies, very

macho.

El Macho pours himself a shot and then smashes the bottle

over his own head.

He reaches down and pulls up a rattlesnake from below the

bar. He squeezes its head, squirting venom into the shot

glass. He drinks it down and then eats the glass.

He sticks the snake’s fangs into a few dollars that he leaves

on the bar, before breaking through the wall behind him,

leaving an EL Macho-shaped hole.

EXT:
STREET - DAY - FLASHBACK

El Macho head butts an armored truck and approaches the

passenger side window.

GRU (V.O.)

He had a reputation for pulling off

heists using only his bare hands.

When the ARMED GUARDS look over he punches through the bulletproof

glass, knocking them both out of the truck. Then he

lifts the truck onto his back and runs down the street with

it.

GRU (V.O.)

Ah, but sadly, like all the greats,

El Macho was gone too soon.

DESPICABLE ME 2 CINCO & KEN DRAFT 33.

EXT:
SKY - DAY - PAST

A bird, flying in the air, is suddenly struck by an airplane.

GRU (V.O.)

He died in the most macho way

possible.

El Macho leaps out of the plane riding a SHARK, a ton of

DYNAMITE strapped to him. He plummets toward the mouth of an

ACTIVE VOLCANO.

GRU (V.O.)

Riding a shark with 250 pounds of

dynamite strapped to his chest into

the mouth of an active volcano.

He pulls two grenades from behind his back, yanks the pins,

and holds onto them as he plunges into the volcano.

There is a MASSIVE EXPLOSION.

GRU (V.O.)

It was glorious.

INT:
BAKE MY DAY - DAY

Lucy stares at Gru, confused.

LUCY:

Yeah, sounds like El Macho’s pretty

dead...

GRU:

They never found the body. Oh no.

All that was ever retrieved was a

pile of singed chest hair.

(beat)

But... that face. It has got to be

El Macho.

Lucy gets an excited look on her face.

LUCY:

Then what do you say you and I

break into his restaurant?

Tonight.

Gru nods at Lucy’s invitation.

DESPICABLE ME 2 CINCO & KEN DRAFT 34.

GRU:

Yes, that’s good, because I’m

telling you--if anybody in this

place has the PX-41 serum...

Gru looks out the window and points at Eduardo riding up on

the escalator, scratching his butt.

GRU (CONT’D)

...it’s him.

INT:
GIRLS’ BEDROOM - NIGHT

Gru enters and pushes the girls into their beds like a tour

guide anxious to finish a tour.

GRU:

Alright, alright, homework done,

pajamas on, teeth brushed, time for

bed.

MARGO:

What’s the big hurry?

GRU:

I just... I have a lot of work to

do.

EDITH:

Work, what kind of work?

GRU:

Very important business.

So...hugs, kisses...

(hugs and kisses them)

...good night, sleep tight, don’t

let the bedbugs blah-blah-blah-blahblah--

Gru turns to leave, but Agnes is standing at the doorway.

AGNES:

But you said you’d help me

practice my part for the Mother’s

Day show!

Gru looks down at Agnes’ puppy dog eyes. He SIGHS.

GRU:

Fine, fine... Let me hear it.

Quickly.

DESPICABLE ME 2 CINCO & KEN DRAFT 35.

INT:
GRU’S FAMILY ROOM - NIGHT

On Agnes. She gives her lines.

AGNES:

(robotically)

She kisses my boo-boos

She braids my hair

My mother is beyond compare

We love you, mothers, everywhere!

Gru frowns.

GRU:

Wow! That was...something else. I

really liked the way you smiled at

the end. Let’s try this one more

time, but a teensy bit less like a

zombie, okay?

AGNES:

Okay.

(still monotone)

She kisses my boo-boos

She braids my hair-

GRU:

Perfect! Time to go!

As he heads for the door-

AGNES:

I don’t think I should do this.

This stops Gru.

GRU:

Well, what do you mean? Why not?

AGNES:

I don’t even have a mom.

Ouch. But Gru tries not to let this affect him.

GRU:

Well, you don’t need one to do the

show. I mean, you did the Veterans

Day Pageant and you haven’t been in

combat.

Agnes looks up at Gru.

AGNES:

This is different.

DESPICABLE ME 2 CINCO & KEN DRAFT 36.

GRU:

Okay, well, then...maybe you can

just use your imagination.

AGNES:

You mean I pretend I have a mom?

GRU:

Yes, right. You can do that, can’t

you?

Agnes smiles.

AGNES:

Yeah! I do that all the time!

Thanks, Gru!

She gives him a kiss and runs off. Gru watches her go, deep

in thought.

INT:
REC ROOM - NIGHT

TWO MINIONS raise their ice cream sundaes and clink them

together!

MINIONS:

Hey!

Pull back to reveal many minions singing and dancing.

We move through the crowd, passing by the mace-wielding

minion with his helmet still backwards and a smaller server

minion with a tray of ice cream sundaes in mugs.

We cut up to the rafters, where more minions are dancing and

singing in formation, jumping and hopping all over the place

in elaborate dance routines.

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