Detention Page #7

---

Who gave you the right to get

so much older than me?

Strange things happen

when you're young.

No! The punch bowl has been spiked.

You will not drink that, young lady.

Don't talk to me that way,

young lady.

All right, lovebirds. I'm gonna steal

my hottie and grab some guac.

Guac.

And the world just threw up a little.

-"Lovebirds"? Are we dating now?

-You got a problem with that?

Students.

I hate to interrupt but it is now time to

announce your prom king and queen.

Oh, you all know what the deal is.

Riley, Clapton...

...come on up here and dance.

-Clapton don't da--

-Shut up.

If you don't dance with me,

I will murder every last inch of you.

Well, in that case,

hold on a second.

Clapton don't dance.

So they say.

But when studying Road House...

...I got hooked on the rest

of Patrick Swayze's oeuvre.

If he can look cool dirty dancing....

Is everything really back to normal?

I guess if me getting an A and saving

the universe is considered normal.

Well, maybe normal's

not all it's cracked up to be.

We didn't change everything.

I mean, look at how tight

his jeans are.

-He's totally gay.

-Oh, you piece of sh*t!

You should have f***ed me.

Think you can kill people

because you're a virgin?

That's the douchiest thing

I've ever heard.

Sander, I want my fish sticks.

Hey!

I stopped wearing Ed Hardy

junior year.

I'm sorry that you're all too busy

playing Sims Grizzly Lake to notice!

-Christian Audigier is the same sh*t.

-Really? Whatever.

-You're all Gossip Girls with Corollas!

-I take the bus.

And like wearing a movie mask

is so original.

Read a book.

It's called post-irony!

I used to think you were just some

middle-class chump with no game.

But those pity points ran out.

Oh, pity me from the wrist-slitting

herbivore over here?

"Clapton Davis doesn't love me.

Please kill me, God!"

You are pathetic!

All of your Grizzly Lake friends

are pathetic!

Except me. I'm all right.

God, why wasn't I born

someplace cool, like Orlando?

God, you're a dick.

It breaks my spirit to see that bra size

wasted on someone like you.

You're about to be spanked

by the power of Swayze.

All Road House had were his fists.

In Under Siege,

Steven Seagal was a master chef.

Your fighting style is so obnoxious.

Seagal in On Deadly Ground.

Impenetrable defense.

Oh, God!

I got you.

You got yourself.

Just another dead teenager

in Grizzly Lake.

I think he'll be the last.

Once upon a time,

the planet didn't burst into flames...

...everybody didn't die,

and life kept on...

...even though Sander thought that

he was the only one who mattered.

But every one of us was...

...a prince...

...a princess...

...a child...

...a grown-up...

...someone cool.

If you and Verge can't get home

at a reasonable hour...

...there's no Twitter for a month.

Oh, that's so unfair.

You're gonna let your daughter

ground you like that?

Yeah, good luck with that.

Sander saw no future for us

because he lived in the past.

So his experiment

was to end time itself.

But we now know

the greatest experiment...

...isn't traveling through time

or making bombs.

The only way to change the past...

...is to change the present.

So Sander was wrong. Even if

Grizzly Lake is lame, it's just a start.

A beginning, not an end.

And.... And....

I can't think to this song.

We're live in Grizzly Lake

where what appears to be a UFO...

...is descending

on a suburban commun--

I am a spokesman for the race alien

to your planet Earth.

First, we assimilated Canada and I

took the exact form of a Canadian.

I am part of a vegetable species.

You stupid humans

eat our sons and daughters...

...because you have

no self-confidence.

It's just high school.

It's not the end of the world.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes