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Detention Page #7
Who gave you the right to get
so much older than me?
Strange things happen
when you're young.
No! The punch bowl has been spiked.
You will not drink that, young lady.
Don't talk to me that way,
young lady.
All right, lovebirds. I'm gonna steal
my hottie and grab some guac.
Guac.
And the world just threw up a little.
-"Lovebirds"? Are we dating now?
-You got a problem with that?
Students.
I hate to interrupt but it is now time to
announce your prom king and queen.
Oh, you all know what the deal is.
Riley, Clapton...
...come on up here and dance.
-Clapton don't da--
-Shut up.
If you don't dance with me,
I will murder every last inch of you.
Well, in that case,
hold on a second.
Clapton don't dance.
So they say.
But when studying Road House...
...I got hooked on the rest
of Patrick Swayze's oeuvre.
If he can look cool dirty dancing....
Is everything really back to normal?
I guess if me getting an A and saving
the universe is considered normal.
Well, maybe normal's
not all it's cracked up to be.
We didn't change everything.
I mean, look at how tight
his jeans are.
-He's totally gay.
-Oh, you piece of sh*t!
You should have f***ed me.
Think you can kill people
because you're a virgin?
That's the douchiest thing
I've ever heard.
Sander, I want my fish sticks.
Hey!
junior year.
I'm sorry that you're all too busy
playing Sims Grizzly Lake to notice!
-Christian Audigier is the same sh*t.
-Really? Whatever.
-You're all Gossip Girls with Corollas!
-I take the bus.
is so original.
Read a book.
It's called post-irony!
I used to think you were just some
middle-class chump with no game.
But those pity points ran out.
Oh, pity me from the wrist-slitting
herbivore over here?
"Clapton Davis doesn't love me.
Please kill me, God!"
You are pathetic!
All of your Grizzly Lake friends
are pathetic!
Except me. I'm all right.
God, why wasn't I born
someplace cool, like Orlando?
God, you're a dick.
It breaks my spirit to see that bra size
wasted on someone like you.
You're about to be spanked
by the power of Swayze.
All Road House had were his fists.
In Under Siege,
Steven Seagal was a master chef.
Your fighting style is so obnoxious.
Seagal in On Deadly Ground.
Impenetrable defense.
Oh, God!
I got you.
You got yourself.
Just another dead teenager
in Grizzly Lake.
I think he'll be the last.
Once upon a time,
the planet didn't burst into flames...
...everybody didn't die,
and life kept on...
...even though Sander thought that
he was the only one who mattered.
But every one of us was...
...a prince...
...a princess...
...a child...
...a grown-up...
...someone cool.
If you and Verge can't get home
at a reasonable hour...
...there's no Twitter for a month.
Oh, that's so unfair.
You're gonna let your daughter
ground you like that?
Yeah, good luck with that.
Sander saw no future for us
because he lived in the past.
So his experiment
was to end time itself.
But we now know
the greatest experiment...
...isn't traveling through time
or making bombs.
The only way to change the past...
...is to change the present.
So Sander was wrong. Even if
Grizzly Lake is lame, it's just a start.
A beginning, not an end.
And.... And....
I can't think to this song.
We're live in Grizzly Lake
where what appears to be a UFO...
...is descending
on a suburban commun--
I am a spokesman for the race alien
to your planet Earth.
First, we assimilated Canada and I
took the exact form of a Canadian.
I am part of a vegetable species.
You stupid humans
eat our sons and daughters...
...because you have
no self-confidence.
It's just high school.
It's not the end of the world.
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"Detention" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 29 Aug. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/detention_6797>.
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