Detention Page #6

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That's the catch. I said it was

happening in nine minutes...

...but it's happening in nine minutes

in the year 1 992.

What the hell?

Somebody must have

gone back to 1 992.

In nine minutes, they're changing

history by blowing everything up.

None of you will have

even been born.

-The end of the world's coming?

-Yeah.

-ln 1 992?

-Yes!

-1 992.

-We're talking time travel?

-There's no such thing.

-Technically it's a temporal wormhole...

...based on an 1 1 -dimensional string

model of the holographic universe.

It'd require a highly advanced

mathematical construct...

...far beyond M-theory...

...probably alien in origin.

What?

I've been building the school bear

into a time machine for science class.

So you're telling me it works? Cool.

I hate this school.

Where's Sander?

And Clapton.

He's terrified of the future.

Nobody hated Verge like Clapton.

Clapton doesn't hate anyone

except Billy Nolan.

Also dead.

Oh, sh*t.

I'll drop my extreme skepticism due to

the potential urgency of the situation.

-How do we use your time machine?

-You'll break it.

-I haven't been graded yet.

-You won't be graded at all...

...if you haven't been born.

Show me how it works.

No, show me.

I don't trust anyone right now.

Maybe we don't trust you.

It's personal.

I have to stop Clapton from killing us.

Someone took this claw

from my locker.

I'm sorry. But this is so cool.

How much did those cost?

A hundred dollars.

For overalls?

Did your parents sell out

to an evil corporate conglomerate?

I'm never leaving this place.

-Schwing!

-Schwing!

That's why Mom left you.

Okay, class, we talked last week

about quantum states.

Now, can anybody tell me

what describes a mixed state?

-New Mexico.

-No, Clapton.

You already received your 1 5 percent

for participation mark.

You don't have to give

the wrong answers anymore.

But nice work on your essay

on the Heisenberg principle.

It was incorrect but it had heart.

I gave you an A.

He's a killer!

I don't know this person.

My class time will not be spent

on practical jokes.

Clapton Davis is

my brightest student.

Brightest?

He never does his homework.

We figured it out, Clapton.

All this death is just a game to you.

Why would I kill people? I chased

Sander through the time machine...

...after he got Gord, lost him.

Been stuck here for six weeks.

-But I'm on the honor roll.

-So then why does the world go away?

Wait, is that why Verge

is building a bomb?

-A bomb?

-Thought he was extra-crediting.

In Osama bin Ladinism?

I bet Sander's helping him.

Unbelievable. You let

a mass murderer feel your bosom.

Oh, my God.

We have to kill Sander.

What are we, monsters?

Let's just kidnap him.

And scene. Thank you.

Sh*t!

If time travel were to happen,

it would probably require...

...a huge electrical force

of around 1.21, 1.22 gigawatts.

See how crossing the nodes of your flux

capacitor generates a tachyon blast?

I don't know who you are

or what you're trying--

The way this is set up,

it's gonna blow your face off.

Yeah, I'd like to see that.

You defy death and turn into

a douche bag like Spock.

Here, I made you a mix tape.

That's so awesome.

-Are you from, like, the year 2000?

-Yes, I come from the time where...

...computers and machines

have overtaken the world...

...and enslaved human bodies

as sources of infinite electrical power.

That's stupid.

The food it would take--

If you're not careful,

you'll create a chain of events...

...Ieading to the complete annihilation

of the human race.

Now make that bomb go off.

I wanna kill everyone because

they snubbed me for prom.

-That works.

-I like how you think, Mr...?

Keanu.

Excuse me.

Where is your hall pass?

-Gosh-f***ing-darn it.

-You get his legs.

-Oh, my face!

-lt didn't work.

Don't be so sure.

Come on!

Riley, get back in the time machine.

We've been sent back

six minutes before doomsday.

We should have grabbed Verge.

He had enough info to know

how to make the bomb go off.

-New strategy.

-What?

I don't know.

I'm saying we need one.

I got nothing.

If we weren't all dead in two minutes,

I would masturbate so hard...

-...to lone tonight.

-lone? You mean Sloan.

Girls like Sloan will learn what happens

when they pass up guys like me.

Let me see your bomb.

-That's it.

-What's what?

Verge is doing this because she broke

his heart. We force lone to go with him.

Ione's going to prom with me.

Forget it.

She'll go to prom with you in 201 1

and with him in 1 992.

Yeah, I still don't think

I'm okay with that.

Ione!

You'll blow this for me.

I traded places with my mom.

My name here is Sloan.

Don't I get a kiss?

No.

Damn, I knew Sting

was too good to be true.

-Your mom's a b*tch.

-lt was to win the contest.

-I was gonna come back but--

-Being cool is that important?

How hard is it to be cool in 1 992?

Plus, my mom's body fits great,

except...

...I think I may be pregnant.

Ione's giving birth to herself?

I failed that class.

You know how cool people

always refer to guacamole as "guac"?

-I invented that.

-lone, you have to ask Verge to prom.

Waiting for the punch line.

People are getting killed. He's gonna

blow up Grizzly Lake in 56 seconds.

You can keep living in 1 992

if you want...

...but the fate of everyone

you've ever known goes away...

...unless you ask Verge to prom

right now.

Screw that! I can't be forced

to go to prom with someone.

That's like date rape.

You heard of

the Dead Cheerleader Nationals?

They don't exist.

Verge, I was wondering....

What are you guys working on?

Now, lone. Eighteen seconds!

-Will you be my prom date?

-Your hair can look like Sharon Stone?

-What?

-What are you doing?

-Fine!

-Nine seconds.

-You go full tongue?

-Okay.

Cowabunga.

We can use my

Pizza Pitt coupons first.

Weren't we able to jump through

last time?

We surpassed the spatial

temporal limit of time travel.

What is that?

You just made that up.

Toshiba must have put

an on-off switch here.

Let's see.

Found it.

Come on!

That girl is going down on that bear.

-Come on!

-I knew that ass looked familiar.

-Come on, you b*tch!

-Nice.

Who's her prom date?

All his parts are still working.

-Yeah, we gotta go.

-Come on.

Not so fast.

Oh, crap.

So everyone left detention

after Verge and Gord got killed?

Our band may not be the Drunges,

but I wouldn't say we got killed.

Oh, Principal Pimping,

don't listen to the haters.

You are my freakasaurus.

Since our lead vocalist is too busy

getting molested by Mrs. Verge....

I quit, I quit, I'm too wasted.

Verge! Verge! Verge!

I guess I'll sing the next song.

This one goes out to lone.

Because, lone,

you are my field of gold.

Hit it, Gord.

Toby T knows every

post-Police Sting album.

We changed the fabric

of space-time.

That or the bear fumes

have gotten me delusional.

-An A. That should do it.

-Verge!

Nineteen years ago today...

...I met the kindest man

I could ever imagine.

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