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Detention Page #6
That's the catch. I said it was
happening in nine minutes...
...but it's happening in nine minutes
in the year 1 992.
What the hell?
Somebody must have
gone back to 1 992.
In nine minutes, they're changing
history by blowing everything up.
None of you will have
even been born.
-The end of the world's coming?
-Yeah.
-ln 1 992?
-Yes!
-1 992.
-We're talking time travel?
-There's no such thing.
-Technically it's a temporal wormhole...
...based on an 1 1 -dimensional string
model of the holographic universe.
It'd require a highly advanced
mathematical construct...
...far beyond M-theory...
...probably alien in origin.
What?
I've been building the school bear
into a time machine for science class.
So you're telling me it works? Cool.
I hate this school.
Where's Sander?
And Clapton.
He's terrified of the future.
Nobody hated Verge like Clapton.
Clapton doesn't hate anyone
except Billy Nolan.
Also dead.
Oh, sh*t.
I'll drop my extreme skepticism due to
the potential urgency of the situation.
-How do we use your time machine?
-You'll break it.
-I haven't been graded yet.
-You won't be graded at all...
...if you haven't been born.
Show me how it works.
No, show me.
I don't trust anyone right now.
Maybe we don't trust you.
It's personal.
I have to stop Clapton from killing us.
Someone took this claw
from my locker.
I'm sorry. But this is so cool.
How much did those cost?
A hundred dollars.
For overalls?
Did your parents sell out
to an evil corporate conglomerate?
-Schwing!
-Schwing!
That's why Mom left you.
Okay, class, we talked last week
about quantum states.
Now, can anybody tell me
-New Mexico.
-No, Clapton.
You already received your 1 5 percent
for participation mark.
You don't have to give
But nice work on your essay
on the Heisenberg principle.
It was incorrect but it had heart.
I gave you an A.
He's a killer!
I don't know this person.
My class time will not be spent
on practical jokes.
Clapton Davis is
my brightest student.
Brightest?
He never does his homework.
We figured it out, Clapton.
All this death is just a game to you.
Why would I kill people? I chased
Sander through the time machine...
...after he got Gord, lost him.
Been stuck here for six weeks.
-But I'm on the honor roll.
-So then why does the world go away?
Wait, is that why Verge
is building a bomb?
-A bomb?
-Thought he was extra-crediting.
In Osama bin Ladinism?
I bet Sander's helping him.
Unbelievable. You let
a mass murderer feel your bosom.
Oh, my God.
We have to kill Sander.
What are we, monsters?
Let's just kidnap him.
And scene. Thank you.
Sh*t!
If time travel were to happen,
...a huge electrical force
of around 1.21, 1.22 gigawatts.
See how crossing the nodes of your flux
capacitor generates a tachyon blast?
I don't know who you are
or what you're trying--
The way this is set up,
it's gonna blow your face off.
Yeah, I'd like to see that.
You defy death and turn into
a douche bag like Spock.
Here, I made you a mix tape.
That's so awesome.
-Are you from, like, the year 2000?
-Yes, I come from the time where...
...computers and machines
have overtaken the world...
as sources of infinite electrical power.
That's stupid.
The food it would take--
If you're not careful,
you'll create a chain of events...
...Ieading to the complete annihilation
of the human race.
Now make that bomb go off.
they snubbed me for prom.
-That works.
-I like how you think, Mr...?
Keanu.
Excuse me.
Where is your hall pass?
-Gosh-f***ing-darn it.
-You get his legs.
-Oh, my face!
-lt didn't work.
Don't be so sure.
Come on!
Riley, get back in the time machine.
We've been sent back
He had enough info to know
how to make the bomb go off.
-New strategy.
-What?
I don't know.
I'm saying we need one.
I got nothing.
If we weren't all dead in two minutes,
I would masturbate so hard...
-...to lone tonight.
-lone? You mean Sloan.
Girls like Sloan will learn what happens
when they pass up guys like me.
Let me see your bomb.
-That's it.
-What's what?
Verge is doing this because she broke
his heart. We force lone to go with him.
Ione's going to prom with me.
Forget it.
She'll go to prom with you in 201 1
and with him in 1 992.
Yeah, I still don't think
I'm okay with that.
Ione!
You'll blow this for me.
My name here is Sloan.
Don't I get a kiss?
No.
Damn, I knew Sting
was too good to be true.
-Your mom's a b*tch.
-lt was to win the contest.
-I was gonna come back but--
-Being cool is that important?
How hard is it to be cool in 1 992?
Plus, my mom's body fits great,
except...
...I think I may be pregnant.
Ione's giving birth to herself?
I failed that class.
You know how cool people
always refer to guacamole as "guac"?
-I invented that.
-lone, you have to ask Verge to prom.
Waiting for the punch line.
People are getting killed. He's gonna
blow up Grizzly Lake in 56 seconds.
You can keep living in 1 992
if you want...
...but the fate of everyone
you've ever known goes away...
...unless you ask Verge to prom
right now.
Screw that! I can't be forced
to go to prom with someone.
That's like date rape.
You heard of
the Dead Cheerleader Nationals?
They don't exist.
Verge, I was wondering....
What are you guys working on?
Now, lone. Eighteen seconds!
-Will you be my prom date?
-Your hair can look like Sharon Stone?
-What?
-What are you doing?
-Fine!
-Nine seconds.
-You go full tongue?
-Okay.
Cowabunga.
We can use my
Pizza Pitt coupons first.
Weren't we able to jump through
last time?
We surpassed the spatial
temporal limit of time travel.
What is that?
You just made that up.
Toshiba must have put
an on-off switch here.
Let's see.
Found it.
Come on!
That girl is going down on that bear.
-Come on!
-I knew that ass looked familiar.
-Come on, you b*tch!
-Nice.
Who's her prom date?
All his parts are still working.
-Yeah, we gotta go.
-Come on.
Not so fast.
Oh, crap.
So everyone left detention
after Verge and Gord got killed?
Our band may not be the Drunges,
but I wouldn't say we got killed.
Oh, Principal Pimping,
don't listen to the haters.
You are my freakasaurus.
Since our lead vocalist is too busy
getting molested by Mrs. Verge....
I quit, I quit, I'm too wasted.
Verge! Verge! Verge!
I guess I'll sing the next song.
This one goes out to lone.
Because, lone,
you are my field of gold.
Hit it, Gord.
Toby T knows every
post-Police Sting album.
We changed the fabric
of space-time.
That or the bear fumes
have gotten me delusional.
-An A. That should do it.
-Verge!
Nineteen years ago today...
...I met the kindest man
I could ever imagine.
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"Detention" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 29 Aug. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/detention_6797>.
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