Detention of the Dead

1

Show me the side

streets in your life

Train yards like bone

yards sharpened knives

Sidewalks are unassuming fields

concrete and cracks

won't cut you deals

Won't cut you deals, won't cut you

Lost teeth like white

jewels of some kind

Petty theft for penny crimes

for penny crimes, and we yell

Ah, like a good old

fashioned nightmare

Ahh

ah, like a good old

fashioned nightmare

Ahh

life being drained

through end of lives

Still we've got nothing but time

The skyline looks brighter tonight

let's go smash out every light

your left foot in front of right

In front of right, and we yell

Ah, like a good old

fashioned nightmare

Ahh

ah, like a good old

fashioned nightmare

Ahh

Ah! Detention. Boring.

I can think of a few things

we can do to kill some time.

Brad, baby, you remember

this is what got us into

detention in the first place.

You only got me for three

more months till graduation.

And it's off to boot camp

before officer training.

- I know, Bradikins, it's just...

- I'm just saying, that was the time

to show your support

for our troops.

You do... support...

- our troops.

- I do, it's...

Hi, Janet. Brad.

I didn't know you'd

be in detention.

Whatever.

I saw you got a "D"

on the cal test.

Yeah, well, Mr. Corbin is a sexist.

I'm sure. Anyway, I thought,

maybe, I don't know...

I could tutor you.

Hey, Ed, remember how I

like to hang out with you?

Oops.

Hell, yeah.

Sh*t.

Hey.

Yo.

You got it?

Doth the Ashman ever fail you?

You're sure it won't

pop in a piss test?

100% untraceable.

Dude, if Marky MCG had

been popping these,

he could've run for congress

instead of lying in front of them.

Good. And you're sure

you can get more?

I've got the straight hook up.

Wait. What's the m for?

Um...

Uh, midalithamethamine.

That's uh, its clinical name.

Hey, I've heard of that.

Smart guy.

I am a renegade

don't fit in with the fold, baby?

Doin' time on the West Side way?

Taking it day by day

hell, yeah

Uh, Edster. Did you come

to visit me in the big D?

Uh, no, I got detention, too.

No way. You got detention?

Now when your mom accuses me

of being a bad influence,

she actually has a leg to stand on.

Uh, yeah.

Can the Ashman interest

you in his other wears?

Grade a. Called blue sky.

And trust me, it will

get you soaring.

Yeah.

No. No go, dude.

This body's a temple.

There's no way I'm polluting

it with that sh*t.

Check it.

I tell you, Edster, if I

ever meet George Romero,

I'm gonna seduce him and bear

him little zombie babies.

But then they would probably eat

us which would be kind of sad

because that means no

more living dead movies.

But it would be a great metaphor

for what kids end up

doing to their parents

when they turn into teenagers.

Right, Ed?

Mrs. Rumblethorp?

Eddie.

I was wondering if you decided yet

about telling principal McMann.

Marksamus! Mi amigo.

How doth it hang?

Oh, whoa, bro, you OK?

It's my hand.

Some crazy bum bit me

out in the parking lot.

I'm sorry. I don't think

I can just ignore this.

What you did is serious.

It's illegal.

Not to mention dangerous.

You can't tell him because

this is my chance.

It's Harvard.

Well, here, let

Dr. Ash take a look.

I got the cure for

what ails you. Here.

Oh, whoa, dude!

You got some legit

nurse visiting rights.

Yo, Mrs. rumbles!

Ms. Ro, I think you should

check mark man's hand.

No, I told you...

Marksamus.

For serious, hit the nurse.

For one thing, she's like 10

times hotter than rumbles.

Mrs. rumbles!

That dude's totally got rabies.

You don't go rabid in

a couple of hours.

Ok, back up, everyone.

Uh, Mrs. Rumblethorp...

Help her!

He's strangling her!

On the count of 3.

He's not letting go.

1, 2, 3!

My uniform!

Jesus Christ, she's like

bleeding to death,

and you're worried

about your uniform?

It's blood. Do you know how

hard blood is to get out?

Guys!

I think Marksamus is dead zone.

Uh, I'm gonna get help.

Willow, we need something

to stop the bleeding.

This is dry clean only.

- Hey!

- Problem solved.

Uh... guys?

Come here!

What are they doing?

What kind of rabies is this?

It's not rabies.

They're zombies.

Holy fucklestein!

Oh, my God! What are we gonna do!

I say we get the hell out of here.

Damn straight.

I don't think that's a good idea.

- What?

- No, look, look, look!

The guy who bit mark must

have bit other kids.

If they turn into zombies

and bite other students,

you've got what you call

infinitely expanding

growth potential. Huh?

One zombie equals

many more zombies.

Oh.

So we can't go out there.

We don't know how many

more could be out there.

They could be everywhere.

What are you saying, we

should stay here and hide?

Mrs. Rumblethorp, you

shouldn't be standing.

She's trying to say something.

Oh, hey, you really need

to stop doing that.

It's even grossing me out.

- Brad, baby.

- What?

Kill it.

Why me? Jim, you kill it.

I'll get the next one.

- You're the one joining the ROTC.

- So.

So go get all hoo-rah on his ass.

Sorry, but I think staying

in there is a bad idea.

Agreed.

I hope I become a ghost

How long before she, you know...

I don't know, but

we can't leave her.

I hope I become a ghost

and make sure the

future turns out fine

I hope I become a ghost

and when the world

is said and done

Signs will become so close

and there will be

nowhere that I can't run

Ooh

ahh

ohh

Uh, to the back, come on. Come on!

And watch all my

grandchildren growing old

Some they will remember me

and others through the

stories they've been told

Now I don't intend to frighten you

I just want to see if

what I think is true

Cause then and only

then we'll know

If it was worth it

to become a ghost

This is the future of

our American military?

I know. Pretty soon even the

French will conquer us.

Chuck? Yeah, man, hit that sh*t.

Sh*t.

I'll check if principal

McMann is here.

Babykins, you won't let

them hurt me, will you?

Janet, babe, I have years

of military experience.

Alright, they won't

lay a finger on you.

You have years of

military experience?

Yeah. I've been paintballing

with my dad since I was 6.

Principal McMann?

Oh, damn it! I got nothing.

Uh, I got nothing here.

Yeah. Me neither.

Nor I.

Me, too.

Maybe all these, uh, corpsicles

are creating some kind of

undead zone.

Hey, Lilly and Ashley

are out there.

They are? Well, open the door.

Let them in.

They're a little busy right now.

Doing what?

Eating Rick Bliscan.

What are you laughing at?

Uh, well, when uh, Ashley

and Lilly were alive,

they were always talking about

who would get a piece

of Rick's ass first.

So?

Lilly won.

Oh, f***.

That's not funny.

Well, it's a little funny.

Kind of cool.

No, no, no. This is not cool.

I know you all are raging

freakazoids and all,

but even ones as far removed

from cooldom as you

should still understand

how much further from

coolness this situation is.

Yeah.

Janet, you should

really lighten up.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes