Detroit Rock City Page #4

JAM:

But, mom!

MRS. BRUCE

Besides, those jeans are so tight I

can see your penis.

Jam reluctantly takes off the denim jacket as Mrs. Bruce

grabs the single drumstick from his hand and shakes it at

him.

MRS. BRUCE

Someday you'll see the futility in

forging a musical career with those

idiots.

She turns and rummages through the closet.

JAM:

(to himself)

They're not idiots.

MRS. BRUCE

Now don't forget you're on the honor

system tonight. I'll be home a little

after one and if you've been partying

or playing that satanic KISS music...

well, need I remind you of the

consequences?

JAM:

Grounded for the rest of the year?

MRS. BRUCE

You're a smart boy, Jeremiah. And so

handsome.

She pulls two Sears department store boxes from the closet

and lays them on the bed. Jam is visibly horrified.

THIS IS YOUR MOTHER! / THE GIRL'S ROOM

EXT. ROBERT F. KENNEDY HIGH - DAY

The suburban high school is teeming with morning activity.

School buses pull up to the curb. KIDS arrive in droves and

immediately find their cliques. The JOCKS and PRIMADONNAS

make up the popular crowd. There's DISCO DUDES, FRESHMEN who

look like grade schoolers, and GEEKS.

At the smoking section hang the BURNOUTS. Hawk, Trip, and

Lex stand amid the other long-hairs.

TRIP:

School. What a f***in' waste of time.

Two GIRLS with tons of make-up, hair so feathered it could

fly, and tight clothes, saunter by SNAPPING gum.

HAWK:

Will somebody please tell those chicks

disco is dead.

LEX:

Stellas. I hate stellas almost as

much as I hate dogs.

TRIP:

Same species when you think about

it.

Their words say one thing, but their eyes say another. They

can't stop gawking at the chicks' asses. Girl #1 sneers back.

GIRL #1

Don't stare too long, you'll go blind.

The boys quickly cover.

LEX:

(defensive)

Yeah, right. She wishes. Look at

that big ass.

TRIP:

You know what they say about a big

ass... big sh*t.

They chuckle. Just then, Jam steps off a school bus in an

unbelievably geeky outfit, white corduroy slacks, plaid shirt

buttoned to the top, argyle socks and brown deck shoes.

TRIP:

Hey, that dork looks just like Jam.

Hawk and Lex look and laugh when they see him.

LEX:

Sh*t, that dork is Jam.

HAWK:

(to Jam)

YO, DOOFUS!

Jam gives them the finger.

INT. SCHOOL LOCKER AREA - DAY

Hawk, Trip, Lex, and Jam grab books from their lockers.

KISS stickers, photos, and rock magazine cut-outs line the

insides. Jam's locker door is covered with Peter Criss only.

TRIP:

So, Jam, who did your wardrobe, Tad

the preppie sailboat captain?

JAM:

Hey, my mom had me over a barrel,

all right. After last night, I had

to let her dress me today. It's a

give and take relationship.

LEX:

Yeah, she gives you sh*t and you

take it.

HAWK:

Okay, enough. Enough. Gimme the

tickets. I wanna hold onto them.

JAM:

They're still at my house in Trip's

jacket.

HAWK:

They're what?

JAM:

She was standing right over me when

I was changing for f***'s sake.

TRIP:

That's some sick sh*t right there.

Did she comb your ass hair for you

too?

LEX:

If your mom so much as smells those

tickets, they're history, and we get

screwed outta seeing KISS for the

third year in a row, the third year!

JAM:

Don't worry about it. They're

perfectly safe. We can pick them up

after school. My mom won't be home.

It's no problem.

HAWK:

All right. After school we double-

time it to your house for the tix

before heading to the train station

for the 2:
45 to Detroit Rock City.

JAM:

Check.

The BELL RINGS.

HAWK:

As they say in the Tampon biz, see

you next period.

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