Detroit Rock City Page #3

JAM:

It's my Bullworker.

HAWK (O.S.)

Anyway, listen up. They're gone!

JAM:

What's gone?

HAWK (O.S.)

The KISS tickets, you nimrod! They're

just f***in' gone! Please tell me

you have'm!

JAM:

(panicked)

Gone!? Why would I have the KISS

tick...?

HAWK (O.S.)

Just check whatever you were wearing

last night. Now!

Jam briefly scans his surroundings double-taking at the denim

jacket lying on the floor. He checks the pockets and sees

four tickets labelled KISS - JUNE 7, 1978 - COBO HALL,

DETROIT.

JAM:

Whew! Oh, God, Hawk... I got'm!

Somehow I musta taken Trip's jacket

by mistake!

INT. LEX'S BASEMENT/BEDROOM - DAY

Hawk SIGHS like a deathrow convict pardoned at the last

second.

HAWK:

(to others)

He's got'm!

Lex and Trip collapse with relief.

HAWK:

Trip, he took your jacket by mistake.

You must be wearing Jam's.

Trip reaches in a breast pocket and pulls out Rosary beads.

Spooked, he drops them like they were a bug.

HAWK:

(into phone)

Cool.

JAM (O.S.)

I'm really sorry about that, man.

HAWK:

Don't be a fembot. So, are you like

grounded because of last night, or

what?

INT. JAM'S ROOM - DAY

JAM:

Of course, but has that ever stopped

me before? Besides, my mom's going

to some church meeting and won't be

back till late. No sweat... See you

guys in school.

CLICK. DIAL TONE. Jam hangs up.

INT. LEX'S BASEMENT/BEDROOM - DAY

Lex buckles his belt with its huge KISS belt buckle.

LEX:

Poor, Jam, man. Imagine having to

stash your KISS records inside Carly

Simon album covers. No question,

Mrs. Bruce is a psycho-b*tch from

hell.

TRIP:

You're one to talk, Lex. Your mom's

a f***in' dyke.

Trip pockets his wallet which is affixed to a long chain

attached to a side belt loop.

LEX:

Trip, a female gynecologist does not

a lesbian make. And even if it did,

at least my mom didn't give birth to

me while she was on LSD.

TRIP:

Shrooms! And even if it was LSD, I

can still give my mom a kiss without

smelling the catch of the day.

HAWK:

Both you a**holes, SHADDAP!

Lex and Trip shaddap.

HAWK:

Enough of the mom-bashing, all right?

Lex's mom is cool about us crashing

over here while she's out of town.

And if it weren't for Trip's mom, we

wouldn'ta smoked that fine Panama

Red last night. So leave the women

who gave you life out of it. They're

both cool.

Trip and Lex cease and desist the mom-bashing and continue

getting ready for school. Suddenly, Lex pushes Trip angrily.

LEX:

Trip, you f***in' a**hole.

TRIP:

What?

Lex points to a wet mess on the pillow.

LEX:

You spilled my Sea Monkeys all over

the bed.

DRESSING UP:

INT. JAM'S BEDROOM - DAY

Jam gives the Bullworker one final yank. This time it comes

loose... not from his foot, but from under the bed. Its handle

lashes up SLAPPING him across the face. Ouch.

Fully awake now, Jam throws on Trip's denim jacket. He stuffs

a drumstick into his left sock. We see "Mystery" written on

it. Just as he's about to stick the other one in his right

sock...

Without a second of warning, or even a knock, Mrs. Bruce

suddenly ENTERS. Immediately Jam stands.

MRS. BRUCE

Jeremiah, what are you doing?

JAM:

Uhh... nothing.

She turns to his closet, the door blocking her view of the

KISS poster. Jam leaps to the window and yanks the "Destroyer"

shade. It shoots up, FLAPPING around its rod. He's done this

before.

Mrs. Bruce peeks at Jam from around his closet door. He

stretches in front of the window.

JAM:

Ahh, sunshine.

MRS. BRUCE

You're going to be late if you don't

hurry up and change soon.

JAM:

Change? What's wrong with what I got

on?

MRS. BRUCE

It's dirty laundry for one thing and

for another, you still haven't worn

the clothes I bought you. You're

skating on thin ice already, young

man, so I wouldn't push my luck. Now

get out of those rags.

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