Detroit Rock City Page #6

MRS. BRUCE

I made an appointment with Father

Phillip McNulty at St. Bernard's.

We're to see him directly where he

will register you on the spot.

JAM:

You mean, you're sending me to... b-

b-boarding school?

MRS. BRUCE

What else can I do? Oh, records and

magazines and comic books are one

thing, but tickets? TICKETS? Jeremiah,

do you realize what this means? That

you're no longer content merely

hearing their awful songs or looking

at photos of their horrific faces!

Now you want to see the devil in the

flesh. You want to reach out and

touch pure evil... and in Detroit no

less!

She flicks the lighter, not yet lighting the cigarette.

JAM:

Mom, three of those tickets don't

even belong to me. They're for the

guys.

Mrs. Bruce holds the tickets over the lighter's flame.

MRS. BRUCE

And if the "guys" have parents who

truly love them, they will elevate

me to sainthood for getting rid of

these blasted things.

Mrs. Bruce lights her smoke with the flaming tickets, then

drops them in the ashtray where they burn for a cruel

eternity. Jam stares semi-catatonic through his mom's sour

expression.

MRS. BRUCE

It's been a long time coming, son,

but you're finally going to get the

kind of discipline you deserve.

She stands and pulls him out the front entrance by his arm.

REVERSE ANGLE ON NEARBY CORNER

Hawk, Trip, and Lex peek around it, their heads forming a

totem pole. One-by-one they pull back.

AROUND THE CORNER

They slump against the wall devastated.

LEX:

I knew it! I knew this was gonna

happen! I had a bad feeling since

last night. Remember? We are so

totally f***ed!

TRIP:

Waitaminit, dudes! I got it! Maybe

we can glue the tickets back together!

HAWK:

What are you, high?

TRIP:

Yeah.

HAWK:

For once Lex is right. It's over.

Things can't get any worse from here.

Suddenly, a caustic voice BLURTS from down the hall.

VOICE:

I hope you rodents have hall passes!

The boys whip their heads around to see a potbellied, yellow-

toothed, security officer with long sideburns and slicked

back hair at the far end of the hall, fists on his hips.

Meet ELVIS.

LEX:

Wanna bet.

ELVIS:

Could that be three detentions I

smell?

Elvis laughs and breaks into a run barreling down on them

like a maniac. Keys JANGLING furiously.

HAWK:

Second floor girls' john! Two minutes!

He'll never look there!

LEX:

Check!

They take off in three different directions. Still laughing,

Elvis stops where the boys just were. Which one to follow?

He bolts after Hawk who has taken the nearest staircase.

INT./EXT. JAM'S STUDY HALL - DAY

Beth looks sadly out the window watching Mrs. Bruce push Jam

in the car. Beth puts her hand on the pane wanting to touch

him.

INT. STAIRWAY - DAY

Meanwhile, Elvis HUFFS and PUFFS up a flight of stairs

arriving at a set of swinging doors. He goes to push one in,

but it swings out at him with a vengeance knocking him

backward.

From behind it pops Hawk wielding a fire extinguisher. BLAST!

A hail of foam covers Elvis's face. Hawk shoves the

extinguisher into the man's arms and pushes Elvis backwards

down the stairs. He topples ass-over-head till he hits the

landing.

HAWK:

You're way out of your league, Elvis.

Elvis rises and shakes the CO2 off like a wet dog. Looking

up, he sees the door gently swinging in and out. No sign of

Hawk.

INT. GIRLS' BATHROOM - DAY

Trip kicks a bathroom stall violently.

TRIP:

F***! Sh*t!

Lex sits on the toilet in the stall.

LEX:

Hey, take it easy, man. This is the

girls' crapper, remember?

TRIP:

Wake up, Lex! We just watched Jam's

mom torch our f***in' KISS tickets!

Not REO Speedwagon! Not Journey! Not

the Bay City Rollers! KISS! If you

can think of a better reason to trash

a bathroom, I'd sure like to hear

it!

LEX:

Trip, it's not the end of the world,

okay? Quit acting all squeezed out.

Trip grabs Lex by the collar, yanks him off the toilet and

shoves him against the wall.

TRIP:

Oh, everything's hunky-dory now that

the sh*t hit the fan just like you

said it would, you snug sonofabitch!

You f***in' jinxed us!

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