Diary of a Mad Black Woman Page #2

Don't come by--

Madea, please.

Come on in here.

Who that is at the door?

Shut up, Joe. I got this.

...I'm gonna have

to put my foot down.

Kunta Kinte put his foot down,

and it got chopped off.

Now shut the hell up

and go back to sleep.

I know I had some

cigarettes in this--

Harpo.

Harpo, who this woman?

Joe, go in that room

and take your medicine.

You know you crazy as hell

when you don't take it.

I say hell...no.

What the hell?

Look what you

done made me do!

Oh, hell!

Get the hell up.

You didn't come by yesterday.

You got to eat something

out there on them streets.

You got to be careful,

you hear?

Look at you. Lord help me.

You ain't got

no regular clothes, do you?

What?

Helen...hey.

Debrah?

Yeah, girl.

You gonna hug me?

Yeah.

So, how are you doing?

You look good. You look good.

Marrying that rich lawyer.

When we were kids, we both said

we'd get a rich man, right?

We both got lawyers.

Deb, what--

what's going on?

Don't. Don't do that.

Don't judge me.

Thank you. I got to go.

You take care of yourself

out there.

Lord.

You hungry?

I can't eat anything.

You need to eat something.

What happened to her?

Life.

Brian and the kids must

really be going through it.

They're doing all right.

But I want to talk about you.

I called Charles this morning...

and he told me,

before he hung up...

that you and him

is getting a divorce.

But what I can't seem

to figure out is why you here.

He put me out of the house.

-Who house?

-Our house.

Exactly. How the hell

a man gonna put a woman...

out of her own house?

He might've put me out...

but he was gonna

put me out of half.

I'm gonna go in

the other half of the house.

He wasn't puttin' me

out of all of it.

The house is in his name, Madea.

Lord have mercy.

That's how women get messed up.

Too busy out shopping when you

need to be checking the deed.

Whoo! That makes me mad, girl.

I don't have any rights

to the money.

No right?

I signed a prenup.

What the hell

you sign a prenup--

I ought to punch you

in the face.

Who the hell told you

to sign a renup?

He didn't have nothin'

when you married him!

Charles always knew

he'd be successful.

And he said to me...

"l want to know that

you're here for love."

And I didn't have a job.

So it's his money.

Is it? What was you doing

while he was working, honey?

Taking care of the house,

cooking and cleaning.

Exactly.

That sounds like a job to me.

Cooking and cleaning--

how long you do that?

18 years.

All right. OK.

18 years...

let's see how much he owes you.

18 years...

you've been cooking...

cleaning...

having sex with him

when he wanted.

-Was it good?

-No.

Major deduction.

And I didn't tell you

that he hit me.

Girl, that man

owes you 64 billion...

283 million, 974 trillion...

5 thousand...

and 20 dollars and 82 cents.

Now, you need to get your money.

-That'll never happen.

-You want to bet?

I can happen

one of two ways, honey.

You can get it from his

checking account voluntarily...

or his insurance policy.

Involuntary manslaughter.

Which one it's gonna be?

-Madea.

-Mm-mm.

I ain't gonna have this.

Come on.

-What? Where are we going?

-To your house.

Oh, no. The guard

will never let us in.

I said come on!

Mayday! Mayday!

Lord have mercy.

Get your stuff.

What the hell

is wrong with you?

These your clothes?

They're hers.

Oh, they're hers?

Who is, uh...

"Dol...say & Gab-anna?"

Who that is?

Dolce and Gabbana.

They're designers.

Oh. She a label ho.

$700 for a damn rag?

Just a rag.

Madea, no, no, no.

Don't do that.

This man left you...

for some old floozy.

Madea, what's wrong?

A wire hanger!

Rip it.

Rip it?

-Rip it.

-No, no.

Rip it!

-Rip it? Rip it!

-Rip it!

Rip it!

Rip it!

What the hell are you doing?

Rip it like this!

Get mad at it!

It'll make you feel better!

Rip it!

Rip it! Rip it!

Rip something!

-Rip it!

-Rip it!

Rip it real good. Rip it.

Wait a minute.

What's this gonna solve?

Nothing. It's just gonna

make you feel better.

-Rip it! Ha ha ha!

-Rip it!

This is for every black woman...

who ever had a problem

with a black man!

Goodness.

Calm down, girl.

I'm tired as hell.

OK.

I'm gonna go down

to the office.

I forgot some things.

OK...you go down

in the office...

because you forgot something.

Find me some oxygen.

And bring me some oxygen!

What are you doing in here?

Charles.

Are you stealing from me?

No. No, I just--

How did you get in here?

I changed the locks.

What the--who are you?

Who are you?

I'm the owner of this house.

Wrong answer.

My granddaughter Helen...

is the owner of this house.

You're the ho. You ain't

got no power or no deed.

Did you do this?

This is Vera Wang!

Who that is? She do nails?

I need to get my nails did.

That's it!

I'm calling the police!

I'm not scared of no popo.

Call the popo, ho.

Call the popo, ho!

Charles, please...

I don't have any money, and--

I tried to be nice to you,

didn't l?

Didn't l?

I'll just go.

You'll just go?

I'll just take it,

and I'll just go.

Oh, you'll just

take it and go, huh?

You're gonna take

my money and go?!

If I call the police, they're

gonna be here in ten minutes.

OK. Then that leaves me nine

to beat the hell out of you.

You think?

I know tae kwon do.

And I know whoop your ass.

Come on. Bring it on.

You don't know me.

I'm from the projects.

Come on.

What the hell is your problem?

Come on. Shut up. Shut up!

Oh, hell no. Watch out.

Yeah, you keep running!

What?

Now you asking me questions?!

You begging now?

Oh, please do it.

Please hit her.

Please!

I want to see you do it.

What the hell's wrong with you?

Here, now, you bastard.

Put your hands on her.

Oh, my God! Don't hurt him!

Oh, I'm not gonna hurt him.

I'm gonna kill him.

Putting his hand

on my granddaughter.

I'm calling the police.

You call the police, so they can

see how you done hit her.

No, just get out.

Charles, I have been nothing but

a good woman and wife to you.

I don't deserve this.

You will reap what you sow.

Keep your money.

You crazy as hell.

Just leave it.

I might leave some of it.

It was this that made you

the evil bastard that you are.

Get out.

Here, now, the way I see it...

half of everything in this house

belongs to her...

and I ain't leaving here

till she get it.

-She'll never see it.

-What did he say?

Come on, Madea. Let's go.

That's right. Go.

Give me 5 minutes with her

in the bathroom, please.

Madea, let's go.

OK. Oh, yeah. I'm leaving.

It's just a matter of time...

before he does

the same thing to you.

Never. I could never be you.

I'm a woman who knows

how to get and keep her man!

What's that?

Madea...

Half of everything

in here belongs to her.

Which half do you want?

Do you want this half...

or do you want this half?

Madea.

Your Honor,

case number 456790--

the People versus Mabel Simmons

and Helen McCarter.

Criminal trespassing,

reckless endangerment...

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