Diary of a Mad Black Woman Page #3

criminal possession

of a handgun...

assault with a deadly weapon...

What are you

walking so fast for?

Suspended license,

expired registration...

reckless driving,

and a broken taillight.

Girl, I know that ain't

who I think it is.

I know you didn't say

Mabel Simmons. Madea?

How are you doing,

Judge Mablean?

It's good to see you.

Your hair is pretty, girl.

Look at you.

You're looking good.

How you been?

You're still at it?

This ain't even my fault.

What had happened was--

Save it.

Who's here for the defense?

Brian Simmons here on behalf...

of Mrs. McCarter and

Mrs. Simmons, your Honor.

-Brian?

-How you doing, Judge Ephriam?

I'm getting tired

of seeing your aunt.

I'm tired of seeing you.

It won't happen again.

Yeah, I bet.

Bail is set at $5,000

for Miss McCarter...

property or cash.

But as for you, Madea...

I'm placing you

under house arrest.

You ain't putting me

on no house arrest, honey.

I ain't fi'n

to to deal with that.

It's either that or prison.

What's your choice?

I'll take the house arrest.

Bailiff, call the next case.

The city of Atlanta

versus Bobby Brown.

What is this,

repeat-offender day?

Bobby! Bobby, I love you!

Sit down, Miss Houston.

-OK, you like hot sauce?

-Put that lid down!

What the hell?

How the hell you do that?

You don't know

what we're playing?

Hey, Daddy.

I see you got Thelma and Louise

out of jail.

Yeah, I did. Hey, stop running.

Stop running.

Say hi to your aunt Helen.

-Hi.

-Hi.

That's your son. Tiffany.

-My God. How old is she now?

-She'll be twelve tomorrow.

Hey, baby. How you doing?

-Can l?

-Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So...

I saw Debrah.

I didn't know she was so bad.

Yeah. She took it pretty hard

when you left.

Charles wanted us

to move away from anything...

that reminded him of the past,

and why I let him do that...

Debrah and I were thick

as thieves growing up, huh?

Yeah, you were.

I'll tell you what.

Y'all about to be set.

What you got? Oh, hell.

Y'all don't know nothing

about playing no cards.

I'm gonna take mine and git.

I could have spent my money

in a better place.

Did you hear me, John?

We gonna play, or we gonna talk?

Joe, let me get some.

That's some good stuff.

You want some, John?

I guess not.

Joe, let me get some.

Last time we gave you

some of this stuff, Mildred...

we had to call the popo on you.

We had to call the ambulance

and everything.

You went crazy as hell.

You ain't supposed to smoke this

when you're on lithium.

I'm all right.

All right. Don't wet up my butt,

get the lipstick all over it.

You act crazy if you want to.

Whose play is it?

Play something.

Play something.

Brian, can you handle

my divorce?

You don't even have to ask.

I always thought that

if I did all I could...

God would bless my marriage.

It takes a lot more

than you doing all you can.

And who's to say that

this is not your blessing?

You know, sometimes

we hold onto the things...

that God himself

is trying to tear away.

It's not that easy.

You know women. We love hard.

-And men don't?

-Not like a woman.

I don't know

if I agree with that.

We don't love as easy...

but when we love,

we love just as hard.

You don't see men

getting themselves...

in situations like mine.

The mother of my kids

is a junkie...

and I love her.

That's a tough situation.

Yeah. I look at Tiff--

she is so much like her.

She wants to sing.

I can't let her do that.

She's not Debrah.

Tell that to my heart.

Orlando. O-dawg,

what's going on, man?

Big Brian, what's up, man?

Y'all got it smelling

real right around here.

That's my deal, man.

That's my deal.

Hey, I want to introduce

you to somebody.

This is my cousin Helen.

Helen, this is Orlando.

Did I miss something?

You two know each other?

This is the sweet young lady...

that threw me out

of a moving truck.

This is the crazy woman--

That's her.

This town is too small.

I think you owe me an apology.

I don't owe you anything.

I was just trying

to help you out the other night.

Oh, yeah, right.

You're no good Samaritan.

He paid it. It's not like

you're some savior or something.

I'm gonna go...

check--do something.

Just another bitter

black woman, huh?

Excuse me?

I called you bitter, because

now every man you meet...

is gonna have to pay

for what he did.

You don't know

anything about me.

I know I watched a man

drag you out of a house...

and treat you like dirt.

Now there's another story

you can tell my cousin.

And I'm not bitter.

I'm mad as hell!

Turn that off up there.

Turn it off.

Shut up up there, all that

music.

How you doing, Henry Lee?

It's good to see y'all.

See, I'm on house arrest.

What is that?

You don't even

want to know, baby.

You don't even want to know.

Get somewhere and sit down

over there, little boy...

before I knock the hell

out of you. Where's your mama?

There you go.

-Mildred, you all right?

-Mm-hmm.

Mildred, don't you start

acting crazy.

Give me, give me. Here.

I'm gonna put this out.

You acting like you crazy.

I'll save that for later.

Your play, Mildred.

Play something.

Help! Somebody help me!

I'm out.

What happened to my eyes?

Everything is dark!

Open your eyes, and you might

be able to see something, fool.

Crawling all over me!

The rabbits!

The rabbits

are crawling all over me!

You ain't supposed to be

smoking that stuff, Mildred.

Rabbits!

Brian, please take her home

to her house.

I don't know why the hell

you come over here...

to my yard with that.

Get on, rabbit. Go, rabbit.

Go. Go, rabbit. Go.

OK, the rabbit's gone. OK?

All right. No more rabbits.

Hey, Mildred,

you forgot your rabbit.

Don't come back over here

no more, Mildred!

Don't come back over here!

I don't see no rabbit.

That was good stuff we had.

Is that a rab--

that's a rabbit!

Here. Use this.

What's this,

your way of apologizing?

Because if it is,

I'm not accepting it.

I'm sorry, mister.

Hey, hey.

My name's Orlando.

Orlando.

Willie, put some music on.

Something we can dance to.

You got it.

Let's turn this party up.

Y'all, come on. Dance.

Come on. Everybody come on.

Come on, Helen.

You and that young man.

Come on, young man. Come on.

March 19.

Dear diary...

I look out at my family

having fun and laughing...

and everything in me

is screaming for help.

How do I get to that place?

How?

Go, Joe! Go, Joe!

Go, Joe! Go, Joe!

Go, Joe! Go, Joe!

Hello?

Chuck, this is Jamison.

Man, I need to talk to you.

You know what time it is?

I don't really care

what time it is.

I got a situation.

We need to talk now.

It went bad.

What are you talking about?

-I shot him.

-Who?

Some cop undercover

who was trying to sting me.

What does that

got to do with me?

Charles,

I need a lawyer and a judge.

Now, there is $300,000

in that bag.

That ought to

buy me both, right?

Look, I'm a legitimate

defense attorney...

and I would advise you

not to try and bribe a judge.

Look, man, I'm hot!

I don't have time for

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