Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Dog Days Page #4

Are you serious? My own cell phone?

It doesn't have a keypad.

It's a starter phone.

You can call home or 911.

We didn't want to overwhelm you.

Thanks.

Have a good time!

See you.

- We're going to the boardwalk!

- I can't wait to ride the Cranium Shaker!

The Cranium Shaker?

You're too funny, Greg.

Who wants to sing?

Me!

Five thousand bottles of milk on the wall

Five thousand bottles of milk

Take one down, pass it around

Four thousand nine hundred ninety-nine

Bottles of milk on the wall

Sixteen bottles of milk on the wall

Sixteen bottles of milk

Take one down, pass it around

Fifteen bottles of milk on the wall

We're so far from the boardwalk.

Oh, yeah! It's much quieter up here!

Why don't we play "I love you because"?

I'll start.

I love you because...

you're silly and you make me laugh.

My turn.

I love you because...

you help me keep my body clean!

Your turn, Greg.

Land on me, land on me!

I love you because...

your mustache is... really...

because...

How do you even win this game?

It's awfully crowded here.

It's quieter at the amusement park.

Who wants ice cream?

- Strawberry!

- Vanilla for me.

Rocky Road! Thanks.

We like to share, it's more fun that way.

Would you like some?

Oh, no, thanks.

I just remembered I'm lactose intolerant.

Meet us back here in exactly one hour.

And no scary rides for you boys.

Got it.

Cranium Shaker, here we come.

But my mom said...

We'll come back later

when the line goes down.

There's no line!

I did promise my mom

we wouldn't go on any scary rides.

But Rodrick says you haven't lived till

you've been on the Cranium Shaker.

- Have you been on this ride?

- It's way scary.

Did you hear what happened last summer?

My brother knows a guy

whose second cousin's half-brother

went on this ride and got decapitated.

- No way!

- Way.

It's true. I was working the ride that day.

The car came down

and his head... wasn't in it.

When you guys get to the top...

be sure not to rock the car

back and forth.

That's how...

He said not to rock the car!

Or our heads will be torn off!

Greg, in case we don't make it,

there's something I have to tell you.

One time, I went to the bathroom

and I didn't wash my hands.

One time, I used your toothbrush

to get dog poop off my shoe.

Wait. What?

Slow it down, slow it down, slow it down!

Greg!

Rowley!

Greg, Greg!

Please!

Greg! Greg!

You were supposed to meet us

an hour ago.

We were searching everywhere.

We were about to call the police.

We're very disappointed in you, Rowley.

Very disappointed.

They let us off easy!

Why are you upset?

They didn't even yell at us.

They almost yelled.

That was nothing. My parents would

have screamed their heads off.

They're disappointed in me.

Big deal. Better than getting punished.

Maybe for you. You're used to it.

I can't wait to hit the hay.

Hey, where are you going to sleep?

I guess we're bunkmates!

Hope you don't snore.

I can't take this anymore.

"Help. Get me out of here."

"These people are driving me crazy."

Send, send, send!

Good morning, sleepyheads!

I have nine hundred and forty-nine e-mails?

I need to go to the bathroom.

I have to get out of here!

Your call cannot be completed as dialed.

Please check the number and dial again.

What a piece of junk!

What is the nature of your emergency?

Hello? Are you hurt?

Do you have anything to tell us, Greg?

I don't think so.

Anything about,

"These people are driving me crazy"?

- Yes, Officers?

- He has a knife!

Do not resist!

Give me your hand!

I tried to explain to Rowley's dad

that I didn't mean to call 911...

but he really wasn't interested

in what I had to say.

You're always getting into trouble

with that Rowley kid.

I'm starting to think he's a bad influence.

Hey, Rowley. How's it going?

Okay, I guess.

So, are we still on for the country club?

Actually... I'm not going

to the country club today.

Why not?

What? Coming, Mom! Got to go!

Ready to get my country club on!

Rowley isn't going

and I can't get in without him.

Okay. Well, you snuck me in.

So instead,

sneak yourself in and then sneak me in.

How? I need Rowley

to get me past the front desk.

Greg! If you don't go to "work"...

"Dad" will know you don't have a job.

No problem, right?

Remember, you're a Jefferson.

And don't forget to take out the trash.

Hey.

Aren't you going to say hello?

Yes.

How rude of me. Hello.

Hey, Rowley!

- Hey, Greg.

- Cool.

I didn't expect to see you here.

Yeah! Well, my plans changed.

I changed my... change. I mean...

Maybe I'll catch up with you later?

I don't believe it!

You lied. You never lie!

My parents don't want me

to invite you anymore.

I thought if I lied,

I wouldn't hurt your feelings.

That was impressive.

That's pretty high.

Are you talking to yourself?

No. Of course not!

You were. You're talking to yourself

because you're scared.

I'm not scared. That's crazy!

You don't understand

because you're just a little kid.

Then go.

Holly! Where's your sunblock?

I'm sorry. I don't understand.

You see, I'm just a little kid.

Hi, Greg!

Hey, Holly!

Oh, my gosh, it is so hot out.

It's nice to cool off in here.

Yeah, great.

I was going to get ice cream.

Want to join me?

That'd be awesome!

I mean, no.

Another time, maybe.

You sure? It's really good here.

Yeah. I'm trying to lose a couple pounds.

Thanks anyways.

Okay.

I am not the kind of person

who likes skinny dipping...

but I had no choice but to splash around

all day, avoiding people.

Attention, everybody, the club will be

closing in 10 minutes,

so everyone out of the pool.

Rowley!

Wait! I need help!

How can I help you, sir?

Could you pass me those?

These?

Oh, my gosh!

You loser!

I'm pretty sure that was the first and

last time I'll ever go on the high dive.

Unfortunately, with all the excitement,

I forgot about Rodrick.

Rodrick?

Rodrick!

Why are you hugging me when Mom

isn't here to see it? Get off me!

Where have you been?

Things might be getting harder

at the country club,

but my fake job

made things much easier with Dad.

Oh, brother.

Daddy, can you make

my hiccups hic down?

I have to pick up Manny from his play date.

We'll have dinner when I get back.

Dad?

Oh, no.

I'm already in enough trouble.

If that dog does anything to Tingy...

Slow.

Go.

Good Sweetie.

Who's a good boy?

Who's going to give Tingy to Daddy?

You are.

You are!

Come on, come on!

Go that way, go that way!

I have an idea.

Here, Sweetie.

Good idea. Good thinking!

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