Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Rodrick Rules Page #2

If I could sit next to Holly,

I'd have the whole year

to show her how great I am.

No way, Greg Heffley.

This is my seat.

No, it's not.

I was here first.

It's mine!

Let go!

You know I'm stronger than you, Greg Heffley!

Don't make me beat you up again!

Let's get something straight!

I was sick that day and

I had something in my eye!

Well!

I've never had students so

eager to start the school year.

What's going on?

This is my seat!

This is my seat!

Okay, let's start

again. What are your names?

Patty Farrell,

two R's, two L's.

Greg Heffley.

Would you be related

to Rodrick Heffley?

I've got my eye

on you, Heffley.

There's no way to escape.

It's unbelievable! Even at

school, Rodrick is ruining my life.

Shh!

He might hear you.

Nah. Watch.

Holy cow!

He once slept through

an entire day.

Do you have an amazing talent

that you'd like to share?

Today, Plainview City Council

announced a brand-new local contest:

Plainview's Most Talented.

Hey! Greg!

Maybe we should...

Can it,

Chunky Cheese!

Westmore is absolutely packed

to the roof with talent.

The top prize is $1,000

and, of course,

the admiration of your

friends and neighbors.

This is huge. I gotta call

the band. We gotta practice.

This is gonna be

our big break!

Uh-uh-uh.

Wait a second.

Aren't you forgetting something? What?

I showered yesterday.

Smell.

Okay, okay.

Okay. Okay.

We agreed that you'd give

a drum lesson to Greg.

You were serious?

Who knows?

Maybe you guys

will really like it

and we can form a family band.

Hello, world, here's a

song that we're singing

Come on get happy

A whole lotta lovin'

is what we'll be bringing

We'll make you happy

Rodrick says

he's a professional musician,

but as far as I know

the only money he's made,

is when Dad gave him five

bucks once to stop playing.

When do we get to

play the real drums?

Like I'd ever

let you touch them!

Watch and learn,

earthworm!

Hey, I was thinking we

should enter the talent show.

I could do my magic act and

you could be my assistant.

Assistant? No way.

Doing magic tricks

is bad enough.

Assisting the guy

doing the tricks?

I'd never make it

to eighth grade.

What?

Hey, a cookie.

Manny,

what have you done?

I'm only three.

What's going on?

What did you do to him?

Nothing!

He ruined my video game.

Oh! He didn't do anything

on purpose. Did you, honey?

No, I didn't. No, he

didn't. He's only three.

I'm only three!

Okay, let's go, sweetie.

You want another cookie?

It's so unfair.

I have Rodrick making my

life a misery on one side,

and Manny attacking me

from the other.

And I'm the only one who seems

to get blamed for anything.

I wonder what it'd be like to have

a family that actually loves me.

Little boy!

We're a very rich couple with no

children and so much love to share.

Won't you come be

part of our family?

Finally! Someone I can

leave my billions to.

India? Why would

you go there?

India is fascinating. It's

the jewel of Southeast Asia.

My father has business to take care of,

so he's taking the whole family.

Can you bring me back a cobra?

I want to teach it to dance!

Wake up!

What are you guys doing over there?!

Get the ball! Get the ball, kick it!

Kick it!

Kick it!

Patty Farrell, you are the man!

Nice running, Heffley.

Just have to work on the direction.

Wow. Holly Hills is better than Bryce!

And he's an all-star!

Well, I'm sure

your soccer skills

made a great

impression on her.

Go strike while

the iron is hot.

You'll see.

When you come back

from India,

she'll be

hanging out with me.

I would love for

that to be true, Gregory.

It would provide hope for

smaller boys everywhere,

but girls like that just don't

hang out with guys like us.

So, listen, you don't have to worry

about being in my magic show anymore,

'cause I got Scotty from my

karate class to be my assistant.

Scotty?

Isn't he like eight?

He'll be eight.

Get in.

Why?

What are you

doing here?

Mom said she'll

pay Mom Bucks

if I drive you

home from school.

We'd rather walk.

Get in! Now!

What happened to the seats?

I needed the room

for my new equipment.

How'd you have

the money for that?

You know, Mom Bucks.

There's no way. He only earned like five.

We got to figure out what song

we're playing at the talent contest.

Easy. Devil's Diper.

A ballad? Really, dude? We got

to lift them out of their seats!

I got it.

Exploded Diper!

Exploded Diper!

Slow down, guys!

Slow down!

Whoa!

This Mom Bucks thing

isn't working out.

Now Rodrick can get paid

for beating me up.

Oh...

Mom, why are you

writing about me again?

It's embarrassing.

What? You know how

important honesty is to me.

And, Rowley, good news.

I called your mom and

she gave her permission

for you to come with us to

Rockin' Rapids next weekend.

Two days on the biggest

water slides in the world!

It's gonna be great!

Thank you,

Mrs. Heffley,

but I think I'd like to stay

home and practice my magic act.

I just want to

perfect my art.

Come on,

let's go upstairs.

Mom, can I use your computer for homework?

For homework, right?

Yeah. Definitely.

Homework only.

I'm sorry, Bubby.

What's this?

It's a gift from Manny.

He made it for you because

he wanted to say he was sorry

for breaking your video

game. Isn't that cute?

It looks dangerous.

What if I sat on that thing?

Greg!

What are you doing?

Tell Manny you love his gift.

You're so lucky you

don't have any brothers.

You're kind of like my brother.

And shouldn't we be looking up things

for your "hundred years ago" assignment?

She looks like she was born 100 years ago.

Ahhh!

Oh, I hope she's okay.

She sounded pretty hurt.

Are you kidding me?

She's famous, and I heard

she's a millionaire.

I would love to be her!

You do know she was faking it?

Really?

Of course.

Anyone can be an Internet sensation!

We could!

I'm listening.

You just have to work with what you got!

Wake up in the morning

feeling like P. Diddy

Grab my glasses on, I'm out

the door I'm gonna hit this city

Before I leave, brush my

teeth with a bottle of Jack

'Cause when I leave for the

night, I ain't coming back

I'm talking,

playing our favorite CD's

Pulling up to the parties

Trying to get

a little bit tipsy

Okay, three,

two, one, fall.

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

Whoa! Whoa!

It looks fake.

It has to look real.

But how do I fake it if I'm

actually falling backwards?

Maybe you need a gimmick,

so people notice you.

Oh.

Wear this on your head.

Now, do it again.

Why can't you be the one that

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