Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Rodrick Rules Page #7

Our parents are

super mad at us,

so we have to

spend the weekend

at my grandpa's

boring retirement community.

Holly Hills thinks

I'm Fregley,

and my relationship with

Rodrick is at an all-time low.

So he's made it his mission

to ruin my life.

Quit it!

Why don't you tell Mom?

You're good at that.

Grandpa doesn't like TV.

Instead, he prefers to watch the

lobby on the security channel.

I should be

rehearsing right now.

Please, Grandpa. Please, can

we watch a real TV show now?

TV is just

a bunch of fakers.

This is real life.

It's real life.

You can't beat it.

How's about we all go down

to the games room?

You boys like games,

don't you?

The games room

sounds fun

until you realize that all the games

in there are from, like, the 1800s.

My grandpa's favorite is a really

old board game called Gutbusters.

Now, remember, the object of

the game is to read the joke card

and all the other players

have to try not to laugh.

Good luck! There are

some real rib-ticklers in there!

Yeah.

You go first.

"Putting economic policy

before fiscal responsibility

"is like putting the cart

before the horse."

That is hilarious, Grandpa!

Read another one, Greg.

I'm going to go

change my shirt.

Hi!

Oh, hi, Holly. What are you doing here?

I'm visiting my grandma.

She just moved here.

I'm on Grandpa duty.

Listen, Greg, I'm really sorry for

calling you Fregley the other day.

I don't know

what happened.

I think it's the Greg and Freg

part, my brain just flipped.

You called me Fregley?

I had no idea.

Really?

Not really.

I heard it.

It was pretty rough.

But don't worry, I have the rest

of middle school to get over it.

What happened

to your shirt?

Oh, my brother

spit milk on me.

Let me guess, he was pretending to laugh

at something that

wasn't actually funny.

How did you know?

It's in the Older Sibling Handbook.

Last week, my older sister

put hair remover in my shampoo.

If I hadn't smelled something,

I'd be completely bald by now!

Why would she do that?

Duh! 'Cause

she's my sister.

It's part of the deal. You

fight and then you get over it.

Not my brother.

He hates me

and he'll never

get over it.

Of course he will. He

has to. He's your brother.

I also have a little sister

who's spoiled rotten.

Tell me about it! My little

brother ruins all my stuff,

and somehow I'm the one who ends

up getting in trouble for it.

Doesn't that

drive you nuts?

Holly! Time for dinner!

I got to go. It was cool

hanging out with you.

I'll look for you

tomorrow, Greg.

See you later,

Fregley.

I thought being at

Grandpa's was a punishment

but, really, it was destiny

that Holly was here, too.

My luck had

finally changed.

"I've never

believed in fate, or destiny,

"or whatever, until now.

"Things are finally

starting to go my way!"

Rodrick, be quiet. Talk on

the phone someplace else.

"I thought being at

Grandpa's was a punishment

"but, really, it was destiny

that Holly was here, too.

"My luck had finally changed."

Aww!

Give it back,

Rodrick!

This stuff is priceless!

No way.

Come on.

Give it back!

You know what?

I will give it back.

To Holly! Wait till she reads this garbage!

I don't even want to go

"I can't believe my luck!

"I finally got Holly

all to myself

"without Chirag,

or anyone else!"

Give it back, Rodrick!

Give it back.

No way.

Always stuck

in a daydream

Can't focus

on the other team

Hunted you

all day and night

Now I'm ready

for a fight

This is war

Yeah, yeah, yeah

This is war

Yeah, yeah, yeah

This is war

'Cause I got

to knock you out

Whoop!

Oh!

They say that

you're the best

You gotta follow

all the rest

This is war

Yeah, yeah, yeah

Record, record, record.

This is war

Yeah, yeah, yeah

This is war

I can't be your friend

'Cause I gotta

knock you out

I'm in the ladies'?

Peeping Tom! There's

a Peeping Tom in there!

Peeping Tom! There's

a Peeping Tom in there!

Let's get him!

What do you think you are doing in

there? We'll come in and get you!

Take that,

you Peeping Tom!

Let's get him!

Get out of here!

Stop that pervert!

The little whippersnapper!

I've got him!

I've got him!

Shame on you!

I've got him

in a headlock!

I'm not the Peeping Tom!

Where'd he go?

Did he just come out

of the ladies' room?

Hey, Greg!

What's new? Huh?

Well, my life

is officially over.

Now that Rodrick

has that tape of me

running around

in my underwear,

he basically owns me.

The day of the talent show came around

and Mom and Dad

made us both go.

Something about supporting

the community, or whatever.

Scotty!

Come on!

Scotty! Come on!

You don't wanna let the

magic fans down, do you?

Go away!

Rowley, what's wrong?

My assistant, Scotty,

got stage fright

and now he doesn't

want to do the show.

Maybe Greg would help out.

He can be your assistant.

What? No way!

What? Rowley is

your best friend.

This is important to him.

You need to do this.

It's okay,

Mrs. Heffley.

Greg is just afraid that Holly

Hills will think less of him.

Rowley.

Mom, can we talk in private? Sure.

Scotty, please.

Look...

Who's this Holly Hills?

Is she your girlfriend?

No!

She's just some girl

who happens to be a friend

who I don't want to be

humiliated in front of.

I see your point.

So is this Holly

in your class?

Mom!

Okay.

Here we go.

So, are you going

to make me do it?

Please, Scotty.

No. No, I get it.

I get it.

Can you at least

point her out to me?

Okay, okay, I'll stop.

Ladies and gentlemen,

boys and girls,

welcome to Plainview's

Most Talented!

And without further ado,

Ms. Patty Farrell!

Memory

All alone in the moonlight

I can smile

at the old days

I was beautiful then

Wow, she's really good.

I remember the time

I knew

what happiness was

Let the memory live again

Touch me

It's so easy to leave me

All alone with the memory

Of my days in the sun

If you touch me...

Greg, she's cute.

She's super cute.

Mom!

Look, a new day

Has begun

Oh, thank you!

Say hello to the boys and girls, Freggers.

Hello, boys and girls!

I love you.

And tonight, when you are all fast asleep,

I'm going to crawl through your

window and give you all a big hug!

Hey, you could do that!

Right?

Yeah!

A real live nephew

of my Uncle Sam

I was born on

the 4th of July

I've got a

Yankee Doodle sweetheart

She's my

Yankee Doodle joy

Yankee doodle came to...

You can't go on without me. I started

Lded Diper. I'm the backbone!

Well, we got a new

backbone now, dude.

This guy.

That's rock

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