Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Rodrick Rules Page #8

and roll, bro.

Did you guys see the

audience? Oh, man! It's huge.

This roller-skating

kid is really good!

Don't you think...

Greg! Where have you been? I've

been looking all over for you.

Mom, you need to let Rodrick

play in the talent show tonight.

Greg, we've been over this.

He needs to learn a lesson.

His band is playing without

him, and it's not fair.

And I'm sure that's

very hard on him,

but I can't go back

on the punishment.

Mom.

Yes?

You let Rodrick play

in the talent show,

I'll...

...do the magic thing

with Rowley.

Really?

You'd do that?

You'll be Rowley's partner,

even though you said

it's totally embarrassing

and humiliating?

You're willing to do that

just so your brother can play?

Yes.

Come here.

I mean,

how bad can it be?

Scotty was right.

There's a lot of

people out there.

Just start with your opening

trick, like you rehearsed at home.

Forget about

all the people. Go.

Good evening,

ladies and gentlemen.

I am the Remarkable Rowley,

master of illusion.

And joining me onstage is

my faithful assistant, Scotty.

Greg!

Greg.

Who looks a little cold.

Maybe he needs a scarf.

Ew, don't put them on me!

They're still wet!

Sorry, Greg.

Here's a peace offering.

Fly. Fly away.

Be free, little friend.

Oh. Oh.

That thing's dead.

I think I had

him in my pocket too long.

No hard feelings?

Keep going, we're a hit!

And now, for my grand finale,

the saw-the-lady-in-half trick!

If you will.

Push out the feet.

Okay.

No trap doors.

No chance of escape.

I will now miraculously saw Greg in half.

Wait, forget it, I want out!

What are you doing?!

This is the showstopper!

Good, then stop!

Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!

Ladies and gentlemen,

the Remarkable Rowley!

And Greg the Great!

That should have been me!

We killed, and I didn't have to die!

It was even better than it was in the rehearsals!

Hi!

Can I have your autograph?

Sure, sure.

Your performance was pathetic, Greg Heffley!

Only a moron would find humor in bird poop!

You stupid bird!

Oh, my gosh, you guys did great!

That was really funny!

The unitard or the performance?

Both!

Thank you, thank you!

Thank you.

Just do your best,

honey.

Oh, um...

Can I borrow

your eyeliner?

Yeah.

Looks like you guys made up.

We're brothers.

Please welcome to the stage,

Loded Diper! Oh, yeah!

Mom, go!

Get off the stage!

We are Loded Diper!

You told us

we were losers

And we can't do

nothing right

You said

we'd never make it

But just look

at us tonight

Exploded Diper

All over the place!

Exploded Diper

In your face

Exploded Diper

We can't be stopped

Exploded Diper

Your head is gonna pop

Exploded Diper

You can't keep us down

We're gonna hit the fan

And rock this sleepy town

Get up, all you haters!

Dude, they love us!

No hard feelings,

right, bro?

Hey, Bill,

you know what?

When we're done tonight,

you're out of the band.

What?

That's rock

and roll, bro.

Lded

Diper

Lded

Diper

Lded

Diper

Come here. Look.

Dad? Are we

going to tell them

that the audience went crazy

for Mom's weird dancing?

He's happy.

She's happy.

I say we keep this one

between the two of us, okay?

Exploded Diper

It's us, the Diper

And yes, we rock

Exploded Diper

So, I just

wanted to say that

you getting Mom to let me play

last night was really cool.

Yeah, well,

I kind of owed you.

Oh, and here.

The tape? You're giving it to me? Hey!

Don't make a big deal about it

or I'll post it on YouTube, okay?

Now get out.

Doofus.

Okay.

Later.

Butt-brain!

You know, I guess having a

big brother isn't all that bad.

Maybe we don't

always get along,

but I know he's gonna

be there for me.

Hey, I just spilled grape juice on

the couch and kind of blamed it on you.

Later.

I'll get him back.

Action!

Exploded Diper

All over the place!

Exploded Diper

Okay,

it's uploaded.

In your face

Exploded Diper

Holy cow.

This is huge! We're an Internet sensation!

Greg!

You are so dead!

Exploded Diper

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