Dick Figures: The Movie Page #6

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died in the world.

- But by killing

people, aren't you creating

more people you need

to avenge?

- Yes.

This way, I can do this

sweet job forever!

- You are evil.

- And you kept

your elbows straight.

- Siya-nara,

Father Sun.

- Oh, sh*t.

Nature's ninja.

- Raccoon, you okay?

- I am so sad.

- But you did it, man!

You freakin' cut your

dad's head off.

- It is true.

Tachigami is finally defeated.

- Yeah, that hombre is muerte.

- What is that?

- Ocho Muerte.

Follow me!

Ooh f***!

- Holy sh*t!

That's Ocho Muerte?

- That is a big ass sushi!

- Boys, your

town is in grave danger.

- Oh, my god!

Pink!

- She's probably fine.

Okay.

We should probably

get down there.

- Let's go!

- Quickly!

There is no time to lose!

- Hey. Pink!

Have you ever met my sister?

- Happy birthday.

- Thanks.

I just wish Blue was here.

- Whatever, b*tch.

Boys are overrated.

"Ahh!

- What the f*** is that?

- Wow!

This party's crazy.

Oh, my b*obs!

- Ah!

Huh.

Blue?

What's going on?

- Sorry I'm late.

It's a long story.

- Just like my dick!

- Really, Red?

- Ocho Muerte, go

back from whence you came.

- You can't kill the Tachigami

that easily!

- Father Sun,

you are Ocho Muerte, too?

- When you defeated me, I threw

up your wife for eternity!

A Tachigami could never

marry a geisha!

- But Father

Sun, I loved her!

- Then how about a reunion?

- Boys,

it's up to you now.

- Oh, 0h, no!

No!

"No!

Papa Sun!

"Ahh!

Blue, help!

- Pink!

- Dude, the sword!

"Ahh!

- Cartwheel, dude!

- Blue!

"Ahh!

- Ow!

Uh!

Ahh!

"Ahh!

- Blue!

"Ahh!

"No!

- D- du- dude!

It's slipping!

You can't pull me up

with just one arm!

- But I'll drop the sword!

- Do it or you'll drop me!

- Sorry, dude.

- What?

No!

Red!

Did you just imagine

dropping me?

- Maybe.

Ah, f*** it.

'Red!

Stop imaging ways to kill

me and pull me up!

- Nah.

"Ahh!

I thought we were actually

friends this time.

- We are.

- Holy sh*t.

Are you okay?

- No way.

'YOU?

- Nah.

Hey, man.

I'm sorry I've been

such an a**hole.

I've, uh, never really

had a friend before.

- Really?

- Yeah.

- It's all good, man.

Just stop pooping

in my bed, okay.

- I never pooped in your bed.

- I've been pooping

in my sleep?

- Naw, I'm just messing

with you.

I poop in your bed, but

I won't anymore.

- Papa Sun?

Papa Sun!

- Raccoon, that you?

- Raccoon.

- I'm alive.

- Whoa.

We thought you were

super dead.

- Seriously.

- Not yet.

- Momma Sun?

- Papa Sun.

Oh.

- I thought

I lost you forever.

- No, my love.

Only for 10,000 years.

- I will

never lose you again.

- That's your wife?

- Yes.

I could not face my son after

destroying Japan and I feared

the sword was lost forever.

Thanks to your bravery, it has

been reconstructed and I could

now finally save my wife.

- Wait.

So this whole time we were

actually risking

our necks for you?

- We got tricked!

- I did trick

you into finding

the sword for me.

But what you found for yourself

was friendship.

- That's true.

- Lame!

Uh, yeah.

Yeah.

- Ah.

Pink.

- Blue!

- Pink!

- I was so worried about you.

I thought you were dead.

- You know I'd never miss

your birthday party.

- Young lovers,

this sacred lotus ower has

kept our love strong

for 10,000 years.

May it do the same for you.

- Nintendo.

- Blue, it's beautiful.

- I told you I'd get you

something special.

- I love you.

- Huh.

I love you too.

- I got a boner!

- Good one.

- Dude, aren't you glad you

went on this quest?

- Yeah, man.

I told you I wasn't p*ssy.

- Pssh.

I always knew we could

pull it off.

- Really?

- Well yeah, cuz we're awesome!

Oh my f***ing god!

That sh*t was totally amazing!

Your brain can not

even comprehend.

So much hand shooting

excitement.

For the sake of your couch, I

hope you're wearing Depends.

We learned so many

things together.

Japan is weird and French

people slime.

This film had 10 scenes of

action and everyone together

said f*** 21 times.

Yeah!

Dick Figures!

You just watched a whole f***ing

movie of Dick Figures!

Dick Figures!

Bow before them and renounce

your creepiest god.

Dick Figures!

Someone get a doctor because

this movie's

f***ing totally sick!

You asked them, they

delivered!

If you don't like Dick Figures

it's not hard to figure out

you're a dick.

I counted 1O f***ing explosions

and jet-packed

demon ninjas that rocked

your face.

Your life was a hot

pile of garbage.

Now you're so excited

that you're nutting

all over the place!

One of those explosions

was an octopus.

Sorry for the spoiler,

but it's your fault.

That'll teach you to listen to

the sound track before you

watch the movie.

- I mean, for god's sake

who does that?

You stupid piece of--

Dick Figures!

Dick Figures!

Saved the world, what do you

think about Dick Figures!

Dick Figures!

You just watched it.

You're lazy and fat.

Dick Figures!

You love them with all of your

stupid heart and also

part of your junk.

You asked them, they

delivered.

A movie so great it made

your junk explode.

Whoops.

Our bad.

Sorry about your junk.

Just kidding!

F*** you!

Dick Figures.

- That sh*t was crazy!

Yeah.

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