Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star

Ward, I'm very worried

about Beaver.

Mom's favorite vase.

She always says,

"Don't play ball in the house."

Sit on it, Fonzie.

Hey!

What about me, Mallory?

What about my feelings?

Hey, I knew everything

would be all right.

Dyno-mite!

During the '70s, millions

huddled in front of their TVs

to watch the frothy antics

of The Glimmer Gang.

Little Dickie Roberts

formed the center of the show,

and his crooked smile

and casually tossed off

catch phrases

became the fad of a nation

longing for escapism.

This is his story.

Peggy Roberts

had only one goal in life...

to be in showbiz.

And when she got pregnant,

she felt like

it only slowed her down.

Peggy never said for sure

who the father was,

but the most persistent rumor

concluded

that it was David Soul,

the talented, hunky actor

from Starsky and Hutch.

Don't give up on us, baby...

And on July 2, 1967,

Dickie Roberts

came into the world.

Peggy began auditioning him

for acting parts almost daily.

Here's Peggy Roberts

in a 1989 interview.

When it came to auditions,

I used to dress him up

for the part, whatever it was.

I mean, if they wanted a cowboy,

they got a cowboy.

Even if they wanted a girl,

I'd give them one.

Do you know that he once

auditioned

for Pippi Longstocking?

And he got the part.

I felt so stupid

walking into an office

holding the kid's hand.

It was rough on me.

Then, in 1972, when NBC

created a show called

The Glimmer Gang,

Dickie was cast immediately.

The show became

an instant success

and soon Dickie's picture

was plastered on magazines,

lunch boxes and board games.

And his trademark catch phrase

was everywhere.

This is Nucking Futs!

But after six years of success,

the ratings began to slip.

And just as fast as the Dickie

phenomenon exploded,

it was over.

Dickie's mother,

soon after, left him

and moved out of the area.

He found himself alone.

Here's former Eight is Enough

star Dick Van Patten.

Stardom is really hard

on child actors,

and when you throw in a horrible

stage mother like Peggy Roberts,

poor little Dickie

had no chance.

Nobody would hire

the troubled actor,

and pictures surfaced

of Dickie's odd behavior...

including compulsive

glove wearing.

He had his name legally changed

to "David Soul's Son."

Then, tired of explaining

who David Soul was,

he tried "Hutch's Son."

Later, he changed it again

to the element chart symbols

for fluorine,

titanium and zinc.

Today, Dickie Roberts

is certain

that a showbiz comeback

is in the cards for him.

He is working

as a valet parking cars.

But as everybody knows,

in Hollywood, sometimes your

dreams can come true... again.

This is the story

of Dickie Roberts,

the E! True Hollywood Story.

Hi, everybody, welcome back

to celebrity boxing

with our special

"Quake at the Lake" edition.

Tonight's going

to be an amazing fight.

Our main event is about to begin

and is going to be

the clash of the titans.

Former Webster star

Emmanuel Lewis goes toe-to-toe

with former Glimmer Gang star

Dickie Roberts.

Coming to the ring

in the white trunks,

from The Glimmer Gang,

Dickie...

Roberts!

And now, his opponent,

wearing black trunks,

standing four feet,

three inches,

weighing 92 pounds,

Emmanuel... Lewis!

It's Lewis time.

Lewis time, baby.

It's Lewis, you understand me?

Right now.

Tonight, Lewis time.

Lewis time.

Uh-oh, look.

Lewis, Lewis, Lewis...

When was this guy in the joint?

- You suck.

- Huh?

- What did she just say?

- Did you hear that?

Get down there!

Ow! Let's be friends!

Yeah!

Where you going?

I liked your show.

Off the mat, sir.

- I'm throwing in the towel.

- No, no, no.

The winner,

Celebrity K.O. Champion...

The winner!

I can't believe this.

Uh... what am I doing here?

Come on, Cyndi,

it's just a flat tire.

We'll get it fixed.

Then we'll be back home

to Hollywood.

I like your hat.

Shut up.

First, you get your ass kicked

by some guy

who's half your size...

I-I think he's on the juice.

No, I think you're just a puss.

Look, we're broke, okay?

Maybe now might be a good time

to try to sell

that stupid autobiography

you write all the time.

I-I can't publish

this right now,

because it ends up with me

being a loser.

I have to wait to publish it

until I'm back on top,

which I will be soon, I swear.

I'm going to have

a big comeback.

There's something

you got to face, baby.

Okay, there's not going

to be any comeback.

Yes, there will be.

Yes, there will be, I know it.

So pathetic.

There has to be!

Dickie!

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

Grab it! Whoa, no!

Maybe we can drive it

out of here.

Does insurance cover that?

What, being a moron?

No, they squeeze out of it

with that

Act of An Idiot clause.

Ooh, here comes a car.

All right, now you get in

and then stall them

so I can get in, too.

Yeah, I know the drill, champ.

Hey.

Where you going, stud?

It's up to you, sweetheart.

Hey, wait!

Cyndi, open up!

Cyndi, come on!

What are you doing?

Come on, I'll be a star again.

Dickie.

Leif, wow, how you doing?

How are you, man?

Good to see you.

Oh, my God.

You're Leif Garrett.

I used to have

such a crush on you.

Can I have your autograph?

Sure.

You guys want my autograph, too?

Dickie Roberts?

No, I'm fine.

How about if I put it

on a $5 bill?

Make it a $20?

Thanks.

They're sweet.

So, Dickie, how you been?

What's up?

Just got back from

a very successful TV stint.

No such thing

as bad press, right?

Unless it's that.

So, Leif, what have

you been up to?

I got a record out

that I'm happy about.

Rock and roll, man.

Went on an acting audition

about three months ago.

Well, that's great man.

I've been going on movie

auditions all the time,

like every day.

Hey, you going to read

for Mr. Blake's Backyard?

I definitely am.

I was... where...

What-What's that one again?

Rob Reiner's new film?

It's the talk of the town.

Yes, Rob Reiner.

My God, did his dog

have puppies yet?

Ooh, I should send him a note.

You know what,

I have to call him anyway.

I left my sweater

in his guest room.

It's called

Mr. Blake's Backyard?

Remember how Frank Sinatra

in his comeback

played Maggio

in From Here to Eternity,

and then won the Oscar?

Or like Travolta

in Pulp Fiction?

It's the role of a lifetime,

man.

Great.

Leif, I got to go.

It was good to see you, man.

Hey, are we still on

for poker Thursday?

Sidney, where are you?

I've left three messages.

Listen, there's this new movie,

it's a Rob Reiner movie.

You got to get me in...

- Dickie.

- Go to go.

Are you going

to park cars or what?

They're stacking up.

Yes, sir, Mr. Rollins.

Look, Dickie, the only

reason I hired you

is I used to watch your show,

and your life

is kind of pathetic.

Thanks for being a fan.

You know what?

You never get anywhere unless

you bend the rules a little bit.

Woo-hoo.

Uh, this is the Wernick Agency.

This is his assistant...

Shaquikwa speaking.

Sidney, where the hell

have you been?

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