Didier Page #2

Synopsis: Jean-Pierre is a soccer player agent who is in a whole lot of trouble with his star players, who all got wounded just before a major game. One day, to do a favor to his sister Annabelle, he accepts to take care of her dog Didier. One night, Didier turns into a man while keeping the behavior of a dog...
Genre: Comedy, Fantasy, Sport
Director(s): Alain Chabat
Production: Chez Wam
  1 win & 1 nomination.
 
IMDB:
6.2
NOT RATED
Year:
1997
105 min
221 Views


Yeah whatever. So you'll be here in 5 minutes.

I wonder what excuse he'll

come up with next.

I have to hurry!

I have to go, we have to go

The two of us will leave. And

once outside we part ways. OK?

Mrs. Bcassignier I can't find my dog. A labrador,

about this big, very nice. If you see him...

No problem, I've had hamsters for 7 years.

people don't realize that 7 years

is a long time for a hamster.

Is yours working?

Yes, yours?

If Fabrice doesn't recover we

will find someone else.

Richard, really, I understand your apprehension,

your worry.

Jean Pierre this makes 2 crappy

players that you've sold me.

Baco is limping and now

Fabrice has a sprain.

It's not apprehension or worry...

but a feeling of being duped.

You understand?

That was not our initial intention

That reassures me.

Baco has already played a good

match in Bordeaux and...

Bordeaux was a robbery.

And since then Baco hasn't

even touched the ball. Pft, Baco.

And what will he do in

8 days in Paris?

Sell souvenirs at half-time?

At least those jerks don't care

if you lose.

You didn't have to call

the vendors jerks.

Jeesh, it was a joke.

Sorry I didn't get that, it

wasn't very funny.

Jean-Pierre, are YOU going to

be scoring the winning goals?

Do you want to calculate what it

would cost if we both lose?

20 K, and that's just in sponsors.

Are you going to be the one

to reimburse me?

Dad?

Daddy's working, come.

Jean-Pierre

You injured your knee a

while back, right?

How is that?

It's fine, it was 10 years ago.

Good...

It would be a shame to break it again.

And why I would break it?

Find a solution quickly.

I said quickly, what are you still doing here?

Did you want some coffee?

I loved Richard's suit. He

has nice suits.

Did you like what he said or did you

have the image with no sound?

He says he's going to break my

knees and you like his suit?

- I'm trying to be positive.

- It's not working. We're screwed.

The king of chatter.

I'm impressed

You going to stare a long time?

I'll change the lock and he

won't get in again.

He got in once but not twice.

Tell me when I can stop by to

see the door and I'll do a quote.

As quickly as possible. I live

on Sara Boulevard, number 33.

Ni port or starboard, the first nation

What's up with the commotion

in the neighborhood?

Some young Nazis parading.

Young Nazis is a little harsh.

That's a good key.

Listen, let's be clear here.

I don't know what you want

and I don't really care.

You are going to leave me alone now.

You need to forget me. Forget me now.

Lover's quarrel?

What do you want?

She's nervous.

Okay it's fine. We're leaving.

Wait.

Bingo!

Wait here. I'm going to get

some cotton swabs.

Squeak-squeak?

Where's the squeak-squeak?

Search, search

Didier !!

What are we going to do?

It it there?

Is the squeak-squeak there?

I don't understand

How do you explain it? One day

you're a dog and the next a man.

I don't even believe what

I just said.

The only explanation is that

it's a Buddhist thing.

Like a reincarnation but

super accelerated.

Or...

Or a parallel universe.

I don't know.

I'm sure this isn't everything.

I mean, humans don't know everything, right?

We know things...

but not everything.

We don't know everything.

OK that's enough. You're finished.

OK this is YOUR plate now.

Yuck, gross.

But how did you do it?

Was it a morphing thing,

like this?

Didier, no not here!

The toilet.

Pee...

and caca...

You stand in front

and you put up the seat.

You put up the seat, so

you don't make a mess.

You take out your little thingy,

and you pee there, in the water.

Same thing with poop. But sitting.

Yes, like that. Get up.

When you're finished...

you press here.

It's the flush.

Flush.

And... what else...

And that's good.

Good?

Questions?

What?

That's toilet paper.

Right, I forgot. Thankfully you asked.

Not at all. Oh la la.

Not at all.

You get a hold of the thing...

And lift it up...

There you go. Good.

It's better than that

canned crap.

Cranp.

Almost

Didier...

When you meet someone new you

can't just go up and smell their butt.

It's important. Very important.

No more smelling the butts

of people we don't know.

OK?

Yeah well...

People know me in this neighborhood.

But you don't care.

Just trotting around.

I totally agree.

Ok true, we know her.

But you have to know someone a lot

better to smell their butt.

That was the baker.

She sells bread.

Bread

Forget the bread.

It's not important.

We don't smell butts.

We don't smell womens' butts.

Unless she asks you to. If she

asks, that's her choice.

Yes yes...but you said "yes"

before and now...

Yes, yes Coco. I'll be

there tonight.

Of course I'll be there with Richard.

Whatever, jerk.

I said I'd be at the bar.

Jerk.

What was I saying?

Yes!

Nobody else!

Nobody.

Don't be silly.

You don't smell anybody's butt.

Not guys, not girls,

not dogs, nobody!

And especially not the landlady!

I'm going to have to move

because of your nonsense.

If you try to smell my butt

you're out of here.

I'm warning you.

Didier

Do not move huh?

Daddy's going to get his head ripped

of by Richard then he'll be back.

- But Fabrice plays on Wednesday right?

- Yes, he's just resting right now.

- Because you have to win huh?

- Yes, for sure.

Richard will be ready for you

in 15 minutes.

Thank you.

- Good luck.

- Yeah, good luck.

Some matches?

It's a girl!

- I saw the ultrasound

- Who?

It's a girl. I'm having a girl!

That's good!!

- Guess what we're calling her?

- Fabrice.

No! It's a girl!

Fabrice, what are you doing here?

- It's Barbara...

- You've got to be kidding me.

You're supposed to be resting and

you come to Richard's club to party?

It's not me, it's Barbara.

Do me a favor. Get lost and

I'll take care of Barbara.

It's a girl!

Even when we leave early we

never get to sleep before 4 am.

Why?

We found a bunch of old videos.

With He-Man, Captain Flame...

and Gandhi. It's super funny

to watch them in their diapers.

You understand...It's important

that he rest right now.

Ok.

But if you're interested I

have the videos at home.

Put on number 3.

No, 3. That's number 7.

That's the best album.

...and watch old cartoons with her.

- In the afternoon?

- No, one's she has on tape.

How's it going lovers? Taking

in the night air?

Coco can you be normal

for 10 minutes?

What did you say?

Are you talking to me?

Jean Pierre, isn't that your car?

Forget it Jean Pierre. We'll take

care of them for you.

Run, run run!

At least he's grateful

Can you stay here a minute? I have

to see Richard then I'll be back.

- OK. Don't worry about it.

- Thank you very much.

- Jean Pierre

- Maria!

How are you? Having fun?

I'm here for work.

Must not be easy.

I'm here to see Richard.

And this club is Richard's club.

And with Miss Muffins it seems

to be going well, huh?

Oh stop it. I told you, that's

Fabrice's girlfriend.

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Alain Chabat

Alain Chabat (born 24 November 1958 in Algeria) is a French actor, director and screenwriter. He was originally known for his work in the comedy group Les Nuls, including as the co-writer and lead actor of the cult comedy film La Cité de la peur (1994). He has since then become a notable actor and filmmaker of his own, typically both writing and starring in the films he directed, which include the other cult comedy films Asterix & Obelix: Mission Cleopatra and RRRrrrr!!! He also appeared in French Twist, The Taste of Others, The Science of Sleep, Happily Ever After, and the cult comedy series Kaamelott. Additionally, he voiced the character of Shrek in the French dubbing of the Shrek franchise. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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