Didier Page #5

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Your nose up my butt!

It's me Didier. Good night.

This is starting to annoy me.

I just saw your note.

What's wrong with you? Coming into

my house and taking Didier like that.

I couldn't sleep, I was worried.

Then I find him this morning,

sleeping on my doorstep.

How irresponsible.

Something could've happened to him.

He's a little simple, or didn't you notice?

Or maybe you didn't

let him get a word in?

- Simple?

- Yes, simple.

Yes, of course. For you, as soon as

someone's nice, they must be simple.

It was nice to meet someone nice for

a change. Instead of someone selfish.

What do you know?

He can't even go buy a croissant

without getting into trouble.

- He's worse than a kid!

- Worse than a kid?

You've just said it all.

And where were YOU all night?

If you were worried all night,

you could have called. I was here.

Crap.

Be polite.

I'm sick and tired of dogs and

cats. I'd like to move on.

Your kitty just dropped

all my records on the floor.

What are you talking about?

Your kitty followed Didier home.

Jean-Pierre, it's a CAT!

OK? And I advise you to

be nice to her!

Then come and get her as soon

as possible. I'd like that.

This isn't the SPCA.

I'll be right there.

What an idiot!

When he wants to be stupid,

he's really stupid.

Your friends with a

cat now, huh?

You're forgetting your roots.

I guess you've forgotten.

Did you sleep together?

If you did, just say so.

I don't care.

I hope you used protection. Yuck!

Just thinking about it disgusts me.

You can't even speak,

how practical.

It might be a difficult concept for you...

But I'm a little hurt that my

girlfriend was stolen by my dog!

Plus, you're not

even MY dog.

Let's get dressed.

This is useless.

Wait, you need to clip your nails.

It's amazing how fast your claws grow.

Didier, the combination with

Merenguez is working well.

If there's a free kick...

Gomez, the first post...

Curlsse second post.

Baloud, you take Doberman.

Everyone moves...you all

run to the goal.

Ok so I overacted a little...

but I was worried.

What are you doing on Wednesday?

I'll be in Paris

meeting with a client.

I'll be in Paris too!

We're playing at le Parc.

Do you want me to reserve you

a ticket? It's in the evening.

Yes.

Then afterward you can take

me to a funny movie.

Or a war film.

Is Didier playing on Wednesday?

Well, yes.

Do you have to run around everywhere,

jumping on people, stepping on toes?

Now he's in the pond.

- Do you have the time please?

- Yes.

Oh Annabelle, it's so nice of

you to stop by. Please come in.

I can't stay long. I just

came to pick up Didier.

- You don't want a drink?

- No thanks.

You did remember that I was

coming to pick up Didier?

Yes Didier, D-I-D-I-E-R.

My dog, who I left here and

would very much like back now.

Let's go get him now.

He's in the countryside at a

friend's I dont' know, right?

- Well yes, but...

- Do you think I'm stupid?

I know you too well.

Where is my dog?!!

- Don't scream.

- I'll scream if I want to.

I deserve some

respect, you know.

Respect starts with the truth.

So tell me, WHERE IS MY DOG?

OK, OK.

You want the truth?

Yes.

That's the truth.

That is Didier.

Didier isn't a dog anymore.

One morning I got up and that

guy was in Didier's basket.

Your dog became him.

How? I have no idea.

But that's the truth.

I was sure of it.

Excuse me?

I saw it in his eyes last time.

I felt it, I knew it.

Didier?

Yes, my Didier, I recognize you.

I'm so sorry for kicking you.

He's so cute! Isn't he?

I'm glad you think so.

When I was in Brazil, I saw

some really weird things...

You wouldn't believe

me if I told you.

I don't know. I've made

some progress with weird.

It's amazing, he sometimes

has canine eyes.

sure do not want a drink? I need it

He always had cowboy breath.

Yes well I tried to brush his teeth.

You'll see, it will be tons of fun.

We'll take him to Madame Massart.

She has to see him.

Is she a dentist?

Not really.

Madame Massart / Podiatrist - Hypnotist

By appointment / 3rd floor right. Then left.

Your eyelids are heavy.

Very heavy.

Sleep.

But you still hear

everything I say.

Is it a surprise?

There is a very powerful

electrical current around him.

An electrical dog?

I'm sorry Annabelle, but I can

not work under these conditions!

I feel negative waves

in the whole room!

Please sir, be nice and leave.

Yes you. Go be show off OUTSIDE!

GET OUT!!

What karma.

No we are going to go

back into your past...

Let's go...back...

weeks, months.

How do you feel?

He's a dog.

It's about time you

figured that out.

Go back further, Didier.

What do you see?

Tell us where you are.

- Didier?

- What's happening?

I am Eurodepis, wife of

the Pharaoh of Egypt.

I think we went a little

too far back, no?

He's a very receptive,

interesting subject.

That will be 800 francs

($200 Cdn)

Can he come back tomorrow?

No, no! He plays tomorrow.

Don't start.

WEDNESDAY:

Look, 57 grams, digital,

liquid crystal display.

Yeah, but the image sucks.

You just need to orient it.

- It it OK?

- Yes, yes, no problem.

Lift your leg.

Remember, you catch the ball

and pass it to Merenguez.

Merenguez.

I'll be back.

Didier Asanasius is Lithuanian,

30 years old.

A little older than the team

average, which is 24 years old.

I see Merenguez is on the bench?

Can't you play him?

No, we only need 1 point. I'm not

playing aggressively. We're on defense.

Why play deference when with Didier and

Merenguez doing amazing things out there?

Forget it Jean-Pierre. I don't butt

into your business, so leave mine alone.

Jean-Philippe will try to get to know

more about this guy, Didier...

by going to ask him a

few personal questions.

Oh no, that's not got at all.

Jean-Philippe, are you there?

Robert? Hello George.

I'm here with Didier Asanavisus.

So, Didier, this is your first big game.

How will you deal with the PSG super-team,

with players like N'Got and Doberman?

Didier, is there a lot of pressure?

Is it hard to handle?

Excuse me...

Sorry Jean-Philippe, but Didier's

parents are on the phone...

It's an emergency. But don't

worry, it's good news.

His mom is going to be a mother.

Or just became a mother...

I don't have the details.

Any reaction?

Well it seems we won't get any

information about Didier Asavinius.

Right, just that his mom is

going to be a mother.

And poof, now he's

a soccer player.

Amazing story.

No, not really. When Didier

was still a dog...

he loved to play ball.

So it's not so surprising.

For me, my niece is

a super-talented artist...

But they put her in a school

with a focus on math.

Isn't that dumb?

Yes, that's very dumb.

And for your pleasure tonight, the

best striker in the league: Yann Doberman!

Help me welcome him and

the rest of the team!

Listen, I used you without

asking what you thought.

I'm sorry.

I was only thinking of myself.

I don't want you to do

anything you don't like.

We can stop everything,

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