Diner

1

- Hi.

- Hi, girls.

How are you?

- Eddie, have you seen Boogie?

- He's over there.

Boogie! Come here.

I was just downstairs in the basement.

Fenwick is breaking windows

with his bare hands.

He's punching out the windows

with his bare hands.

And he'll break every one in the place.

I'll go talk to him.

What's up, Fen?

Just breakin' windows, Boog.

What for?

It's a smile.

Come on, don't be a schmuck.

I know glass is made from sand.

How come you can see through it?

Leave the windows alone.

What's wrong with you?

- It's a smile, that's all.

- Yeah, I'm cracking up.

Fenwick, you break another window,

and I'm gonna give you a fat lip.

Now, where's your date?

Gave her away.

What?

I gave her away.

David Frazer said she was death.

So, I said, "If you like the way

she looks, take her."

What are you, the Salvation Army?

I charged him $5.

Come on upstairs.

Come on.

You really are nuts.

What about her? She didn't have to go.

I'm nuts. Get that.

That's what you get

for dating 11th-graders.

- Her brains aren't developed yet.

- Yeah, but her tits were.

Falsies.

- Were they?

- Firsthand info.

Sh*t. Then what am I pissed about?

- It looks like you're having a lot of fun.

- Perk up.

- How could you take Frazer over the Fen?

- 'Cause.

Diane, did you know that Frazer

paid $5 for you?

That's the kind of guy he is.

He did?

Do you want to leave with Frazer?

Not really. Fenwick scares me.

He's all right.

Why don't you take me home?

I go to law school now.

I have to go home and study.

The only reason I came by here is

'cause I appreciate the fine music.

- I thought you worked in a beauty parlor.

- Yeah, I do, during the day.

Would you do me a favor?

Would you go home with the Fen?

Okay?

Okay?

- Are you cold?

- No.

I could turn the heat on.

Elyse feels that Eddie is getting

very sensitive about the wedding.

Yeah, I know. We were talking about it.

You know what word

I'm not comfortable with?

"Nuance." It's not a real word.

Like "gesture." "Gesture" is a good word.

At least you know where you stand

with gesture.

But, "nuance," I don't know.

Maybe I'm wrong.

- Aren't you chilly?

- No, I feel good. I feel good.

- Am I going too fast for you?

- No. No.

Good.

Look at that Fenwick go.

Elyse's mother is very upset with Eddie.

They picked out this yellow and white

motif for the wedding.

You know, like we did.

Napkins, tablecloths, bridesmaids...

...maid of honor, the whole bit.

Anyway, Eddie objected.

He wanted blue and white,

the Colt's colors.

He refused to give in.

So?

You know how stubborn Eddie is.

Could have been worse.

Could have been black and gold,

the Steeler's colors.

Billy's coming in on a train this morning.

I thought he was just coming in

for the wedding.

We didn't want to mention it.

It's a surprise for Eddie.

- What the hell's going on?

- I don't know.

Stay here.

Oh, Jesus.

You son of a b*tch.

I really got you guys, didn't I?

I've been carrying this ketchup bottle

around for weeks.

You a**hole.

Weeks!

I hid behind the car. I didn't want

to get any ketchup on my dress.

Weeks! Just waitin' for the right time.

Well, you got me. Christ, I really thought

you'd bought it.

Real hard, holdin' back the laughs.

Real hard.

You really outdid yourself, Fenwick.

That's very mature, Fenwick.

F*** mature.

Sorry, Beth.

Did you overturn this yourself?

Yeah, give me a hand.

No way.

Come on, guys.

Boog? Modell, come on.

Hey, guys, come on.

Fenwick, you turned it over by yourself.

You've got to turn it back.

But it was easy gettin' it over,

'cause of the angle.

It'll be a b*tch getting it...

Come on. Did you try it?

I'll bet you didn't even try it yet.

I'm buyin' at the diner.

Fenwick, you're a schmuck.

Another five seconds,

you would've had it for free.

I'll see you guys later at the diner, okay?

You're a sick person, you know that?

You're not a normal person.

You guys really are sick, you know that?

- That's 'cause you got no sense of humor.

- Yeah, right.

You can't compare Mathis to Sinatra.

There's no way, no way.

They're in totally different leagues.

Eddie, they're both great singers.

You know the thing about Sinatra,

he's good, but he's too thin.

I don't like that.

Yeah, but you can't compare them.

Sinatra is the Lord. All right?

He's big in movies. He's big in nightclubs.

Let me ask you another question:

Who do you make-out to?

Sinatra or Mathis?

- That's a stupid question.

- One question, answer that.

It's irrelevant. I won't answer it. Mathis.

There you go. How about you, Shrevie?

- I'm married. We don't make out.

- That's funny.

- George, do you have a Band-Aid?

- No.

- You have a Band-Aid.

- I don't have one.

- What's wrong?

- I don't know.

- You don't know?

- I cut myself shaving.

Sorry about that Diane thing.

I didn't know you had a thing for her.

Yeah, it's okay.

What about my $5?

- Give me a couple of days.

- A couple days?

Can I have French fries and gravy,

with a cherry Coke?

Sinatra doesn't like fatty foods, I think.

Look who's here.

How'd it go?

Pretty good. Said she never wanted

to see me again.

You're a charming person, you know that?

What happened?

I just parked the car on a nice, lonely road.

I looked at her and I said, "F*** or fight?"

That's a good line.

I'll use that myself sometime.

You're a maniac.

You always know exactly what to say.

I love this.

- How old is she?

- She's jailbait.

- What is she, 12?

- She'll be 12.

Jailbait.

She's old enough to know better.

I'm kidding.

She said she wanted to see me again.

She liked me, sort of.

- Get out of here.

- Come on.

George, will you come here

and talk to him? He's driving me wild.

What's that? Roast beef?

Don't ask me this anymore, Modell. Yes.

You gonna finish that?

Yeah, I'm gonna finish it. I paid for it.

I'm not gonna give it to you.

If you're not going to finish it, I'd eat it.

- What do you want? Say it.

- Go ahead. You eat it. That's all right.

Say, "I want the roast beef sandwich,"

and I'll give you some.

- Would you guys cut this out?

- He doesn't talk. He just...

- You know what he means, right?

- I know what he means.

If he'd say the words, I'd give him some.

If I wanted it, wouldn't I ask?

- Then ask. You know he wants it.

- Just let it go.

You're annoying as hell.

I'm annoying?

I'm trying to eat a meal by myself.

If you want to give him the sandwich,

give it to him. If you don't...

- I don't want to...

- Then eat the sandwich, and shut up.

- Look at his eyes.

- I asked a simple question.

Know what you're problem is?

You don't chew your food.

That's why you get so irritable.

You get lumps.

You have roast beef in your heart

that just stays there.

Modell, you're really getting me mad.

My blood is boiling.

- I'll take the sandwich.

- Don't...

- Fine. I'll take the sandwich.

- See what you do. Every time!

Why are you blaming me?

He took your sandwich.

- You want this?

- No!

- You want this?

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