Diner Page #2

- I don't want it.

I do.

I can't believe you're eating...

You two play against me.

That's the problem.

You're both on each other's side.

Come on, George. Lend me another $10.

What do you want from me?

You owe me $10 already. Get out of here.

- Boog, come here.

- Don't be like that.

Wait, Bagel.

Come here a second, Boog.

Get out. I don't want to talk to you.

- What, Bagel?

- Did you lay down a bet with Barnett?

- I don't remember.

- Yeah, right.

Nobody bets $2,000 and forgets, Boogie.

What's the point?

The point is, Boog, where are you going

to get the $2,000?

You haven't got a pot to piss in.

Look, the game is a lock.

Nothing's a lock, Boog. Nothing's a lock.

You want me to call it off?

Out of respect for your father,

may he rest in peace.

Look, leave my father out of it.

Listen, Bagel, you should get in.

I've gotta go.

See you around.

- Kids, man.

- Very crazy.

Nobody's interested in making

an honest buck anymore.

I heard he's going to law school.

That's what I'm talking about.

You call that an honest buck?

Bagel heard about my basketball bet.

I'm already down for $10.

- Big spender.

- Come on.

Listen, Eddie. If you guys want in on this,

I'm going to tell you now...

...they're shaving points in this game.

- You heard they're shaving points?

- How do you know?

- I know. This is no bullshit tip.

I heard about your tips before.

Cost me $50.

- How do you know?

- No way.

- What's your resource?

- Don't get in.

Will you listen to me?

They are shaving points on this game.

You want in or not?

They're definitely shaving points?

You feel secure?

- Forget it.

- Who's the guy?

Why do you ask so many questions?

'Cause I don't know who the guy is.

You trust him?

Let me make it $15. Because... make it $15.

Let me ask you a question.

If you're really sure, make it $20.

Don't do it, Modell.

I'm telling ya. I lost $50 last game.

All right. Will you guys hop off

of the subject?

- Can you quiet...?

- $15 would be good.

Modell. Who do you pick,

Sinatra or Mathis?

- Would you just let that die? Please.

- It's important to me.

- It's annoying me.

- It's important in my life.

You've been asking that question

to every man that walks in here.

Would you just forget it?

Maybe I have something to gain

from the answer.

- Did you ever think of that?

- What does it matter?

Let the man speak.

Let the man speak. Speak.

Presley.

Elvis Presley?

There's the definitive answer.

- Sinatra or Mathis? It's Presley. Fine.

- You're sick. You're sick.

You feel better? Did you learn something?

You've gone like two steps below

in my book.

Once again...

I guess you're full?

Did I tell you guys that I've got a date

with Carol Heathrow tomorrow night?

You're taking out Carol Heathrow?

No, you're taking her out.

She is death.

I only go for the best.

Heathrow's cold.

She's not a smart girl.

Did you ever talk to her?

You wanna bet she goes for my pecker

on our first date?

The only hand on your pecker

is gonna be your own.

Do you want to bet me?

Do you want to bet me $20?

You got it.

- I'm in.

- Me too.

Yeah, I'm in too,

but we need validation of this.

All right. I'll arrange it.

How? Are you gonna get fingerprints?

I'm tellin' ya, I'm not gonna do the dusting.

- Did you bring your car?

- No, I walked. Yeah, I brought my car.

You're going straight home?

No, I'm going by way of Atlantic City.

What kind of question is that?

'Cause if... I'll wait for the other guys.

You constantly do this. You walk out

behind me. You stand there...

- Maybe you got plans.

- I have no plans. It's 4:00 in the morning.

- You want a ride?

- I'll go with you if you want.

- You want me to go with you?

- Say the words, "I want a ride."

I don't have to go.

I enjoy your company. Do you want a ride?

I'll go with you.

You got gas money? Just kidding.

You're so serious lately, Modell.

You're too much. How'd you know

I was coming in this morning?

We know, man. We know everything.

You up for some diner?

Hold on a sec.

I'm gettin' some coffee here.

You're getting coffee before

we go to the diner to have coffee?

I want coffee. Coffee.

I can't believe that Eddie's gettin' married.

It's crazy. I mean, with Shrevie here,

it was nuts. But with Eddie, it's lunacy.

Marriage is all right. I'm not complaining.

Not complaining, huh?

That sounds wonderful.

Of course it's not a 100-percent

sure thing yet. Right?

- He's getting married New Year's Eve.

- No, no.

Not until she takes the test.

- What are you talking about?

- Tell him.

Eddie's giving Elyse a football quiz.

If she fails, the marriage is off.

Football quiz? Come on, you guys.

Are you puttin' me on?

Is this a joke or what?

No. You know Eddie and the Colts.

It's very serious stuff.

The test has got something like, what,

140 questions.

True and false, multiple choice,

short answer.

It's an oral test.

He doesn't want any cheating.

So, wait a second.

What happens if she fails?

- He's going to call it off?

- Yeah.

He swears to it. The test was supposed

to be two months ago.

But Elyse keeps putting it off.

She's got a lot of pressure on her.

I guess.

It's not the best way

to start off a marriage.

Eddie's crazy.

- Billy, you're missing all the action now.

- Yeah?

Yeah. Half the guys are

at U of B night school.

It's a lot of f***ing laughs now.

- A master's in business. That's the lowest.

- Yeah.

What are you majoring in now, Fenwick?

Still...?

- So, who's at U of B?

- Eddie's going, of course.

- And then there's me.

- Yeah?

- You going to law school?

- Yeah.

I thought I would give it a pop.

I'm still working at the beauty salon

in the daytime.

- But you were so good at the beauty salon.

- Cut and f***. $2.50.

All right, you guys laugh.

- You ever think of doing your own hair?

- You guys laugh.

- It looks good.

- I'll tell you something.

I get more action in a week

than you've had in your whole life.

No, I get it every night.

Billy. You're in town already.

Yeah, I thought I'd come

and spend the holiday here.

I heard there are a lot of good parties

and stuff.

- You know your parents are out of town?

- No.

They're in Florida.

They'll be back for Eddie's wedding.

Is he still sleeping?

What else? It's only 2:30. Wake him.

I can't wait till he's out of the house.

How you doin', Bill?

- What are you doin'?

- Don't f*** with me.

Still the early riser, huh?

Yeah. Nothin' changes.

- Except you're getting married.

- Yeah. Ain't that a kick?

I thought you weren't coming

until New Year's Eve?

Nothing happening around campus, so...

Did you bring that girl with ya?

No. We broke up.

That's a shame. You know...

...that picture you sent me?

It looked like she had

a great set of knockers.

- Didn't figure on you and Elyse so soon.

- Yeah, well...

Figured New Year's Eve would be good.

Get married. Party through the night,

you know.

I was pissed off.

I figured you'd at least call me...

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