Diner Page #3

...and let me know you were planning it.

Yeah, well, you know.

But you're my best man, right?

Right?

What do you think?

Of course I'm your best man.

So, Boogie and the guys picked me up

at the train station.

Yeah?

They didn't say anything to me.

Surprise, I guess.

I guess.

- How'd they know?

- Barbara Kohler told Fenwick.

Oh, yeah? You keep in touch, huh?

Yeah.

Still nailing her, aren't you, son of a b*tch?

Never did.

You're kidding? What else would you be

doing with her all these years?

Talking.

- Talking? Am I losing my hair?

- You've still got a little up there.

If you want to talk, you always have

the guys at the diner.

You don't need a girl if you want to talk.

Eddie, you'll never change.

Yeah, I saw it. It was in the papers

this morning, Marion. Yes, this morning.

- You and I gonna shoot some pool?

- I haven't shot pool in ages.

It's about time,

otherwise you lose your edge.

- You still have the morning paper?

- Mom, what's for breakfast?

The kitchen is closed.

I'm hungry here.

You want something to eat? Make it.

I don't have all day to wait on you.

Come on, Ma. Don't give me that sh*t.

A fried baloney sandwich would be good.

Get out of the house.

Billy, take him out of here.

A fried baloney sandwich isn't

a lot to ask for!

Hold the wire, Marion, will you?

You're giving me a headache. Take a walk.

What are you going to do?

You going to stab me?

Come on.

You miserable creature.

- How did you get to be such a thing?

- Take your best shot.

- Who do you think you are?

- And then I'm gonna punch your lights out.

You don't even look like me.

Where'd you come from? Get married

and get out of this house. Quick!

Come on, go for the gut.

Then you, you're going down and out.

Come on, I've got fists of granite.

- How did you turn into such a thing?

- I won't look. Hit me right here.

And ruin my good knife on you?

It's not worth it.

Sit down. I'll fix you something to eat,

and that's it.

Eat a sandwich, then give me some peace.

- Billy, you want something?

- No, thanks.

- You sure? It's no trouble.

- No, really, I'm fine.

A lot's changed around here.

I'm never going to get married.

Never, never.

Aren't you, my Jo?

Is this show in color

or is something wrong with this set?

No, there's nothing wrong with the set.

This is a black-and-white set.

I don't think they're showing

the movie in color anyway.

I don't like color television.

Don't like color for nothing.

I saw Bonanza over at my in-laws,

and it was not for me.

The Ponderosa looked faked.

I hardly recognized Little Joe.

Maybe you had to tune it.

Not for me. Have you got an Emerson?

I hear they're real good.

Yeah. I've got an Emerson right here.

It's a good set.

- What's all that stuff?

- This? You've got a high-fidelity system.

I don't want any high-fidelity system

with my television.

All I want is a 21-inch Emerson,

cabinet style.

Kenny, have we got any Emersons,

21 inches, without the record player in it?

- I'll check in the warehouse.

- He's going to check that in the warehouse.

It'll take a few minutes.

Why don't you look around?

I'll look around

at some of the television sets.

You do that.

I talked to Boog.

He's taking Carol to the Strand tonight.

The Strand?

- He's going to try it in the Strand?

- Yeah.

What do you want to do?

I'll be there. A few seats away.

Yeah, I'll be there too.

I got $20 on this thing.

Don't want any judgement calls.

He has a couple of C's

riding on this already.

He's making bets left and right.

He has $200 on this already?

Yeah. A lot of people bet for Carol.

What have you been doin'?

You been drinking already?

Yeah. I guess so.

What for? It's too early.

I don't know. I'm getting antsy

or something. I can't figure out what.

I'll see you at the Strand tonight.

Hey, Fen.

Are you sure you're all right?

Yeah.

What do you say, Knocko?

Hey, Billy.

- How're you doing?

- Eat, sleep, you know.

I never see you and the guys anymore.

You know how it is.

Time to move on, I guess.

You got change for a quarter?

- Doin' okay, Billy?

- I'm going for my master's.

Hey, wonderful.

Take seven. It's got a new felt.

What are you doin' it for?

It's not like I'm doin' it

just to make her happy.

To hell with that.

No, you wouldn't want to make her happy.

Anyway, she's the only one

I really care about.

It's not like I go looking for girls to date,

or anything like that.

It seems like the right time and all.

At least she's not a ballbreaker.

Christ. If she was a ballbreaker,

there'd be no way.

Right?

How you doin'?

"It's one thing to wear your dog collar,

but when it turns into a noose...

"...l'd rather have my freedom.

A man in jail is always for freedom.

"Except, if you'll excuse me, J.J.,

I'm not in jail.

"You're blind, Mr. McGoo.

This is the crossroad for me.

"I won't get Kello. Not for a lifetime pass

to the polo grounds.

"Not if you serve me Cleopatra on a plate.

"And that is why you put your hands

on my sister.

"J.J., please. Susie tried to..."

It's Methan's favorite movie,

The Sweet Smell of Success.

- He memorized the whole movie?

- Yeah.

These younger guys, I tell ya,

they're crazier than we were.

Eddie, are you taking

any of Boogie's action?

Yeah. No way he pulls this off.

There's a boy up there watching me.

There he goes. Funny feeling,

being looked at without knowing it.

What?

Pants off.

The rose's thorn scratched you.

It's nothing.

Did you ever catch fireflies?

When I was young,

I used to put them in a bottle...

...and see if I could get enough to read by.

There used to be goldfish here.

- Did you ever catch any?

- No. I wasn't supposed to.

Last winter, we forgot to take them out

and they all froze solid.

That poor cupid.

He looks lost without them.

He looks like he's waiting to be kissed.

He is.

How can you tell?

Well, I can't really.

Ljust know how he feels.

Shrevie, what's going on?

I have no idea.

Would you hold on a second?

You're disgusting.

I know it was really terrible.

It was horrible, but it was an accident.

An accident?

No, Carol, seriously. It was an accident.

I swear to God.

An accident. Your thing just got

into a box of popcorn.

Well, damn near that.

Listen, can I be straight with you?

Wait, look. There's a real good reason...

...but it's a little embarrassing to me.

So maybe if you don't want to hear it,

I'll understand.

Go on. I want to hear this.

I don't know, it's just...

I don't like to tell this to girls,

but you really are a knockout.

No, you really are. And sitting down

next to you in there got me crazy.

I got a hard on.

I don't like to admit it, but I did.

I mean, you don't know me. I try

to come off like I'm being cool all the time.

I don't like to look like I'm hustling,

and there I was next to you with a boner.

Am I embarrassing you?

Go on.

I don't know, it's just that

the pain was killing me.

It was to stop the pain.

It was digging into the side of my leg.

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