Dirty Weekend

1

Where are we again? Hmm?

Oh, what... what's going on?

We're disembarking.

Yes, I know. You told me that,

but... but to

another plane, right?

We don't know yet.

So, you woke me up,

and now we're...

we're waiting here...

where are we again?

Albuquerque.

Oh, sh*t.

I thought I was dreaming.

Well, the big fella's up, is he?

Very good.

Yeah. He nodded off

for a minute,

so he's still

a bit groggy, I'm afraid.

Very good. Yeah, but what's up?

Oh, no, don't worry.

I'll explain. It's fine.

Ah. Very good.

He's good at his job, isn't he?

Yeah. Very good,

as he might say.

Now, look, I'm not fine,

so why did you say "we're fine"

when I'm not that at all?

I was about to explain to you...

we're grounded here for now.

But... what... why?

Because Dallas

had torrential rain,

so this is as far as we go.

So, wait, we just

stopped in Albuquerque?

Why don't we just turn around

and go back to L.A.?

I don't know.

That's what they decided.

Who decided that?

Did all the passengers

get together and take a vote?

'Cause I'm not very happy.

Well, here are.

Great.

Well, this is just great.

Don't worry, I e-mailed ahead.

We still might get

the last flight out.

Otherwise, there's the bus.

Oh, don't say that. What?

The bus. Why?

I hate bus travel.

It scares me.

All right, les.

Well, we can always

rent a little subcompact

with no leg room and the stink

of old cigarette smoke,

and I can drive it

through the night.

Is that better?

All right. Greyhound it is.

Man, I don't believe this.

We don't have to

take the greyhound.

I called and booked us rooms

into the airport hotel

so we can relax properly

and also so we don't

have to wait here at the gate,

'cause I know...

You don't feel well, you know?

So, we'll be all right.

Seriously.

Says you.

Yeah.

We will, though. I promise.

Mhh. That doesn't count.

You English

are perpetually optimistic,

even in places like Waterloo.

We won at Waterloo.

You know what I mean.

India, then, places like that.

Africa.

It's all fun and games

till somebody

sticks a spear in your ass.

So, where you guys from?

Korea.

Los Angeles.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Okay.

Okay.

Oh. Oh. Oh, thanks very much.

No...

thank you. Right, sorry.

Okay. Thanks again. Bye.

So... Geez, nat.

Why don't you toss in a blow job

for all the trouble

you're putting them through?

It's their job to help you.

You know, it's funny

because with anybody else,

that would be considered

sexual harassment.

Yeah, but that's why

I like you...

you're not like everyone else.

You're regular, normal.

I was just trying to be nice.

It's their fault.

You don't have to be, like,

completely submissive.

What? Don't say that. Well...

Just because you

want something from someone,

it doesn't mean

you have to be nasty about it.

And it's not their fault,

actually. It's the weather.

Mm, I suppose.

So? Well, no flights for now,

not to Dallas, anyway.

Oh, boy. Boy, this is...

Not good. Exactly.

My thoughts exactly.

We could always drive,

but I'm not sure

we'd make it on time.

Plus, we'd be totally exhausted.

Well, I would be, anyway.

Mm, sorry. Busted wing.

Come on, let's think.

We're... we're two adults here,

college-educated.

Wh-wh-where

did you study again?

Cambridge.

My safety school.

Uh, so, come on.

L-let's figure this out.

I tried all the other airlines.

They all have the same problem.

And nobody's

flying out later tonight?

Yes. We're on hold

with four other carriers.

We could always take the bus.

Do you want to do that? No, no.

So... so, you got it covered.

That's good. That's good.

Well, looks like we might

be stuck here for a while.

Want to change or something,

get out of that sweater?

Why? Well, nothing,

I just noticed

you were sweating a bit,

you know, perspiring.

It's hot in here.

I'm fine.

I wasn't being forward.

Trust me.

I said I'm fine. I just meant,

you're wearing a turtleneck

and we're in new Mexico.

Polo neck. What?

That's what we

call it in england...

polo neck.

Oh.

You're always doing that.

What, correct you?

No, no, the... the turtle...

the polo-neck thing.

You like those, huh?

Yeah. It's my style.

Well, good.

Good. This was fun,

getting to know each other.

Let's get a bite.

I always think better with food,

even hotel food.

Oh. No, no.

See, now you ruined it.

I said no potatoes, none.

So, if you put them on there,

that's not none.

Sorry, what, you want more?

No, not more.

Jesus, I don't want potatoes.

Why would I want more? So...

Wait, you want more potatoes or not?

It's all right.

This is good. Thank you.

I thought you

didn't like potatoes.

At the breakfast meetings

we've shared,

you always send them back.

I'm a complex guy.

And, my, aren't we observant?

What are you, stalking me?

You should be so lucky.

Honey, have you heard of

"word in edgewise"?

It's a saying.

It's a... yes, people

use it all the time.

Mm-hmm, yes, it means

"take a deep breath

and let me speak for a second."

All right. Yes, now, listen.

Now, listen, I'm not in Dallas.

No.

No, no, nothing's wrong.

No, it's not.

No. No!

No, no, it... no, Dallas...

no, Dallas is having storms.

Yes, so I'm stuck

in Albuquerque,

and I wanted to call.

What?

Oh, no, th-this is

my... my coworker's phone.

Yes, Miss Havington.

Yeah, that's right.

Yes, Natalie.

Yes, the British one.

Yeah, her phone worked here...

at&t or something...

so I borrowed it.

Hmm?

Oh, yes, I'll thank her.

Yeah. Now, listen.

Honey...

honey, look...

honey. Honey.

Honey.

Suzie? Yes.

Yeah, no, it's just the hotel

phone 'cause les is upst... he...

yeah, his...

anyway, the th... yes, we're...

yeah, we're in a spot of bother.

Um... We're s... we're stuck.

Um, Albuquerque.

Yeah. I know.

The weather. No, it's just

the weather, really.

Um, and, um, anyway,

so, we could...

we could use

a little bit of your...

of your help on it, really.

Um, I know, I know.

Domestic travel

in the United States.

Okay.

All right, so...

oh, really? All right, then.

Well, if you... if you...

if you call my other phone,

I'll have it in a minute.

Oh, you wo...

okay, e-mail. Okay.

Well, I-I look forward to it.

All right.

Les is fine, yeah.

He's doing okay.

Les...

All right, then.

Okay, then, Suzie.

Thank you. Bye.

This may be the first time

I've ever had a Martini

before noon.

Well, make that 10:30.

Sh*t.

This is crazy.

We got to get out of here.

Mm. I mean, we're...

We need to be there, right?

We should be there already.

Yeah.

I told them,

"this is a big deal.

Let us travel out on Sunday,

get a jump on things."

But, no, they save 400 bucks

by having us fly on Monday.

Well... well,

I hope they're happy

when we end up walking in late

tomorrow morning.

Are you all right? Yeah,

yeah, it's just...

it's just,

this is a big account,

and it's a huge deal for me.

For all of us...

But especially for me.

I know it is. Yeah.

I feel like there's a lot

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