DMT: The Spirit Molecule Page #4

I had to sort of anticipate a lot of objections that would come my way

from the regulatory agencies that oversee this kind research.

So at that point began a two-year process of dealing with

not that many regulatory agencies, but fairly monolithic ones.

One sort of the side line of the protocol

was the involvement of a psychiatrist from UCLA named Daniel Freeman.

He was a kind of one of the grand old men of American psychiatry

and actually he was one of the people who in the 50 'and 60'

got their start with psychedelic research.

And the main thing that Daniel Freeman told Rick, told us, was

"Don't even get close to psychotherapy."

"Forget about treating mental illness or alcoholism or anything."

"Forget that. That's what roll the hysterias up, that's roll the fears get up."

"You're a scientist, Rick. Approach it as a scientist.

Do basic simple measurements, look at heart-rate, cardiovascular suppressors."

"You won't get in trouble doing that, you can get it founded and it's solid science."

Rick did what he said, be has then he still was able to get these, you know, accounts of what happened

That was not in the plan, was not what was really proposed in the studies that were founded

That wasn't what Danny talked about.

But those was the spin-off that really made it interesting.

Rick Strassman, was advertising in some magazine somewhere

about the wanting volunteers for a particular study

in you know,psychotropic, and I didn't, didn't know DMT from STP at that time.

I remember reading that and thinking "Oh my God, this is bad"

"I better get involved in this and make sure that somebody doesn't get hurt and

and at least there be some sensitivity towards what this stuff is really about."

I met Rick's research nurse at a party

and she heard me talking about that I had used peyote, ceremonially

and she took me aside and said "There's something that you might be interested in"

"We're looking for subjects, volunteer subjects for some unusual research."

I was a little concerned that the study participants might be a litte obnoxious

maybe that's not the right word but, you know, people that were just seeking to do a lot of drugs

they were very professional people.

They were varying degrees as to how much hallucinogen use they had been through. It seemed like

there were some people that felt like they had made it kind of their life mission

to experience every kind of substance out there.

And then other poeple who, I think, were just interested for their own personal growth and curiosity.

Once we actually got into the preparation for the actual trips,

Rick asked me about roller coasters.

"Do you like roller coasters?"

"You know, the sensation of going up really high and then slamming back down towards earth."

and I said "No, I hate them, their horrible"

and he said "Not good."

I just wanted to go with the experience, learn as much as I could, absorbe as much as I could

and be humble to it.

The idea of legally sanctioned psychedelics was just very compelling

Plus, you're in a hospital so should you get that

uncomfortable experience that you're dying, you're

with doctors in a very safe environment from that point of view.

I mean, this was very cutting edge, very, out there, very. It was high risk, and a

people knew what they were getting into, and they wanted to have the extra reassurance

and I was glad actually, to have a crash card in the room,

and a team in the hospital to respond any emergencies.

You're in this hospital room

and there's all the sounds and the smells and just

the prior experience is being in the hospital.

You know, all these negative things come back so there was the

whole environment to be overcomed

because little did I know that it didn't matter where I was,

I wasn't gonna be in my body, I was gonna be out in the universe

and it didn't matter where you watched from, it could be a hospital room, it could be

the jungle in the Amazon, it didn't matter where you were because you weren't gonna stay there.

"Set & setting" is so important,

it's even more important than the substance, more important than the substance

"Set & setting" is everything.

Now, what is the "set & setting" when you're blindfolded.

The "set & setting" is not what you're seeing, because you're not seeing anything

The "set & setting"is your internal self,

the things that you have learned, the capacities that you have achieved,

the conditions of your own psyche and psychology.

These are your "set & setting".

It's the medicine combined with the interacting with the "set & setting"

that creates an effect of safety, of trust, of comfort and of resourcefulness

and makes it possible for you to take some big leaps and receive some big gifts

and if that's not there, you just get terrified.

So I was, I didn't have really physical fear so much that they would die or have a stroke

I did have some fears about peoples' mental health, you know

especially with some of the higher doses.

We gave one genteman, who had a lot of experience with the drug,

one dose, and he didn't think it took him far enough

So then we gave him a higher dose and he was gone,

he was really gone, it reminded me of something from "The Exorcist", I mean

he just fuum, stood fold-up on the bed and his eyes opened up and they were completely dilated and black,

and I almost thought he was gonna turn his head completely around.

I remember looking at Rick and Rick looked at me and I thought "Oh my God, he's gone, I hope he comes" and he did.

The countdown was like, you know, cutting down for your.., preparing for your death, like waiting to surrender and...

You'd feel the coldness, the coldness just going through your veins and it's really indescribable, it's hard to..

you know, it's like ice going through your veins.

And the next thing that would happen, besides my racing heart,

is this burning sensation what happended on the back of my neck, I mean this was reliable, this is like clockwork, this happened every time that you shocked me up with DMT.

And then there be a hum, and the hum will get louder and louder

and to the point where it broke apart, everything that I was or knew, it was just this [sound]

It was just louder and louder until you just had to surrender to the sound

and then you were.. there.

I would get a warmful feeling, a golden feeling in my chest, before it went to my head.

I feel this warm rod, about an inch and a half in diameter start growing up inside my spinal canal.

It would come up and sort of slow, warm up my chest, go up through my head

Slow down and put tremendous pressure on my sightednesses behind my eyes, slow down.

Start to grow and stand the skin behind my forehead about one inch behind my hairline when it and

I thought it was gonna pop-up the skin a few times, because it is a very physical feeling.

About and inch and a half, two inches above my skull.

when it pop through there then the psychedelic tripping started.

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