Doctor Dolittle Page #5

I'd like to leave Jack the midget... nothing.

It's too late for you. You're a short...

Hey, get outta there!

You're in my landing space!

- Man!

- See if you land on your feet, road kill.

Why don't you bloodsuckin' vermin

take a break?

- Mm, blood sucking!

- Look out below!

- Hey, Lucky, come on.

- Come on what?

- Come on. We gotta go up there!

- Are you crazy? That's a tiger.

- I'm jumping. Don't try and stop me.

- Will you come on?

Comin' right up.

One order of man, side of dog.

Ugh, I need a drink. Hic!

Goodbye, cruel world.

Oh, no, I just remembered.

I wanted to leave the whip to the baboon.

Tsk! One of the few animals

that enjoy that kind of thing.

- Hi.

- Hey! Who are you?

- I'm Dolittle.

- Yeah, well... get outta here.

- I'm in a lot of pain and I'm gonnajump.

- Whoa! Take it easy now!

- I'm a doctor. Maybe I can help.

- I don't need a doctor. I need a miracle.

I'm a train wreck! I have headaches, nausea...

The worst thing is this double vision.

Ah, what's the use?

It's not like anybody cares about tigers.

Now stop. You're being silly.

There have been lots of lovable tigers.

Yeah? Name one.

How about Tony?

- Tony the cereal tiger?

- I didn't hear you come up with anything.

Oh!

Remember that song

"Eye of the Tiger" from Rocky III?

# It's the eye of the tiger

It's the da-da-da-da

That one from Rocky III, when Rocky

was fightin' Mr T, couldn't beat Mr T...

...Apollo Creed played "Eye of the Tiger"...

...he went back and beat the snot out of Mr because of that song. It moved him inside!

Not "Eye of the Moose", not "Eye of the Bull".

"Eye of the Tiger".

- That's it. I'm jumping.

- No, no, don't!

Jump, you big p*ssy! I'll catch ya - not!

Didn't I say take a break? Haaah!

All right, doc. Then youjump!

- Why do you want to help me?

- Because I'm the only one who can.

Maybe it's my destiny. And maybe it's yours

to be the one tiger everybody remembers.

- Why else would I be here talkin' to you?

- Cos the monkey can't keep his mouth shut.

- Are you gonna let me help you?

- What if you can't?

- If I can't help, you can eat me and Lucky.

- Yeah, orjust him.

- Really? Will you take me back to the circus?

- I will take you back to the circus.

All right. But don't think

I wasn't gonnajump, because I was!

Agh!

Hope you're a better doctor

than you are a singer.

Good job, doc. Although seein'

a tigerjump five stories would've been cool.

I heard that.

Hey, Dr D. Three o'clock, Calnet. Meeting to

go over the agreement. You gonna be there?

You're not gonna believe what I got for us.

Corporate cars - every two years.

Why aren't you paying attention to me?

Atlas of Feline Anatomy for Veterinarians.

But, John, we treat humans.

Hey, Mark, sit down a second. Just a minute.

- OK.

- Do you remember when we started out?

We had crummy offices in the worst

neighbourhood and got paid almost nothing.

- I've blocked it out.

- Really?

- I guess so, yeah.

- Those were the most exciting times to me.

It was like... you felt like

you were making a difference, you know?

And last night I had to treat some...

some emergencies.

And I was challenged, and it was difficult...

...and I got the same kind of rush

I had back then.

I felt like I was doin' somethin',

like I was makin' a difference.

And I started thinkin' that here I'm not giving

my patients the right amount of attention.

Do me a favour. Don't confide in me.

I'm utterly useless. I'm very self-absorbed.

Let's get Geno.

Hey, Geno?

You did yourjob just by pretending

you were listening. It was very helpful.

- Any time.

- OK.

- Calnet, three o'clock.

- Three o'clock sharp.

- This is Dr Fish.

- The author of Feline Illnesses and Diseases?

Uh, yes it is. You've read my book?

Have I read your book? I sleep with

your book next to your bed. It's my bible.

Well, some people consider it

the definitive work on cats, but...

...bible? Uh, I... I... I...

Well, no, I can... I can see your point.

Dr Fish, I have a very, very sick,

very, very big cat.

I'm concerned it might be serious

because his vision's impaired.

And he seems to be in a lot of pain.

Unfortunately,

if it is in the head, there's only two options.

One is surgery

and the other is putting it down.

I have no idea how I'm gonna do this.

- I'm gonna try to take care of you. I promise.

- Just hurry back.

Every minute you're gone

I'm one minute closer to death!

I just might hang myself by my underpants!

I can get underpants!

Not really.

- He blew off the Calloway meeting!

- I don't care about that!

I need to speak with John.

You wouldn't believe what's going on here.

Doc!

You gotta help me. He's dead.

You gotta help me.

Aauugghh!

- He's not dead.

- No, don't go, old buddy, old pal!

- You gotta help him!

- Oh, really? Why's that?

Cos... cos... cos you're the man.

You're the man!

Oh? I thought I was the guy

you wanted to get bubonic with.

- I'm going towards the light now.

- I was kiddin'. We were riffin'.

- Serious? Come on!

- Ha, ha, ha!

Goodbye, world. I smell flowers.

I'm begging you. Don't let him die.

Don't let my buddy go.

I'm sinking fast!

- John! Where have you been?

- Hi.

- What?

- The meeting!

I had an emergency. Excuse me. Sorry.

Oh, excuse you(!)

- Hang in there, brother.

- Does it hurt when I do this?

- It ain't no day at the dump.

- If he dies...

...I don't know what I'll do!

- He'll eat me.

Only out of respect.

Be quiet. I can't hear while you're talkin'.

- Sorry, doc.

- John!

- Uh-oh.

- Oh.

He said he was suffering

from abdominal cramps.

"He said"?

I wouldn't be working on this rat

unless it was an emergency. Take a look.

Eeeeaaaggghh!

- What happened?

- He's gone into arrest. I don't feel a pulse.

- Oh, my God, he's a goner!

- He's not breathing.

- Johnny.

- Maybe we should shock him, huh?

- I don't know.

- The paddles'll be too big. He needs CPR.

- You know how to do CPR?

- I can't even spell it.

- OK.

- I can't even look. Doc, no!

- No, Johnny!

- Ooh, for Chrissakes!

You didn't even wine him or dine him, doc!

I think my friend would rather die.

No tongue, doc. Yeech!

- Come on. I got no pulse.

- Doc, do somethin'.

- John...

- Not now.

- Honey...

- Hey! Lisa, please!

I'm hungry!

It's a false alarm. There's nothing wrong

with him. He just has gas.

- Whoa, you're telling me!

- He just had gas.

You're back!

I don't care if you stink. I love ya, pal!

Thanks a lot, little buddy. I felt your presence.

Lisa, stop lookin' at me like that.

HAMMERSMITH RETREA John Dolittle.

Who'd have ever thought

you would end up in a mental institution?

Number one in our medical school class.

Not that I'm jealous, John.

Someone had to finish first.

And someone had to finish last, too.

So, John. You talk to animals now, do ya?

Would you like to tell me about it?

Or would you rather tell Bettelheim?

- I don't need to talk to your cat, Blain.

- Why? Do you think he'd talk back to you?

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