Doctor Dolittle Page #4

- Oh. Oh! You smell the air here?

- Ohh!

What a wonderful place.

What a wonderful camp!

Daddy, can I go home with you and Lucky?

Hey, Maya... Look, here's the deal.

You stay here for a while,

have a great time, then Lucky's all yours.

Three weeks is a long time.

Can't I go home with...

No. No camp, no dog.

- OK, I'll stay.

- You're gonna have a great time.

When you get older you're gonna thank me,

cos you'll have so many friends. You'll see.

You'll see.

- What's the matter with you?

- Everything's goin' by so fast.

Don't you dare throw up in this car.

What are you lookin' at?

The lines on the road.

They're just whippin' by.

Lines. Line, line, line, line, line, line...

Don't focus on somethin' so close.

Don't look at the lines.

OK.

Tree, tree, tree, tree, tree, tree.

Tree, tree, tree...

Gaaggh!

Sir, could you just...

Who knew?

And not only could he understand me,

but it turns out he's a doctor.

Look! Not even a scar!

And it hurt so bad. I don't know

what I would have done without him.

- Whoo-hoo!

- Yup.

Oh, what a day! Ohh!

You have knots all over the place.

I'm all messed up. I'm fallin' apart.

- Ohh!

- Ooh.

- How's that feel?

- Oh, Mrs Dolittle!

Yeah, baby!

- Um... Excuse me one second, OK?

- OK.

Excuse me just one second.

- Come on. Let's go.

- What a gyp!

You mind if I have a little privacy, please?

Oh, yeah, but it's fine

when people watch us do it, huh?

Fine to turn on the garden hose.

Hey, you want a tip on a good position?

- You were barking.

- Well, I'm... excited.

When I get excited I make all kinds of sounds.

- Uh... raow!

- You never barked before.

Oh.

Hello.

- Yoo-hoo, doc. We got trouble here.

- Let's go!

Hey! No! You take the ducks.

I'll take the goat.

Me?!

All right. I'll get the ducks.

Gaak!

- Hey!

- What's goin' on?

Mark just showed up. So I'm gonna have to...

go over the proposal. We have to...

- Come on!

- Don't do that.

Lucky wants me to take him for a walk.

So I gotta do that, then I gotta deal with Mark.

Great(!) I'll be the one cooking breakfast.

Uh... tomorrow. Rowf!

Oh, hey, Mark! How you doin'?

You're trying to destroy my life, all of you.

Aren't you?

Freeze! Stop right there. Don't you move.

- What are you doin' in the hallway?

- Going to the bathroom. What are you doin'?

I'm p-p-patrolling the hallways. I'm the father.

I make sure it's safe while you're asleep.

I patrol these halls.

You wait. Don't you move.

The reason you're up this time of night is cos

you spend too much time drinkin' liquids.

You're old enough to be able to hold it in.

So go on back to bed.

But, Dad, I have to go.

Lucky's in the bathroom right now.

The dog is using the bathroom?

Let me make sure he put the seat down.

Then it's your turn, OK? Don't you move.

- Hey! You heard of knockin'?

- Not one quack. Not one quack.

Hey!

Uh... Here's the toilet. It's all...

down like y'all like it, ready for you.

No little sprinklets on it or anything.

It's waitin' for you to come and do your thing.

- Dad, I don't need adult supervision.

- Oh, OK.

- Somebody get this thing off me.

- Come here!

Get this thing off... Whoa!

Take it easy!

- Night, Dad.

- Oh. Night, honey.

Yeah, yeah.

OK, let's go.

See what you almost made happen?

What I almost made happen? What did I do?

- Beep, beep! We're the sheep.

- Oh, no.

- Not these clones.

- Where you goin'?

- Move aside.

- Am I late?

- Good evening, Doctor.

- Oh, no, no.

You gonna have to take your fat ass back...

I don't...

- Oh, my God! What a zoo.

- Hm. Obviously not a kosher establishment.

- Everybody, just come in...

- Where are the chicks? Ooh! I'm cool.

Landing! Make way.

Very well-appointed sty.

- What's goin' on?

- Hey, there's the guy.

I don't know. You know... tell a friend!

Looks like they need to talk to a doctor, doc.

Our butts hurt.

OK, let's do this.

- Watch your droppings.

- This is the house of love!

East coast, west coast, let's unite!

Is Brooklyn in the house?

This should take care of the inflammation.

But who'll wipe it on for you?

Does Brad Pitt need a goat?

Don't be ashamed.

It happens to most men occasionally.

- You're probably under a lot of pressure.

- He's not.

He's not interested because I'm just a pigeon.

- But...

- He's a self-hating pigeon.

- Oh, that is not true.

- Ask him what he does all day.

- What do...

- I sit in a tree by myself.

He's too good to eat with the rest of us

when the old people feed us in the park.

- Can I speak?

- The way he stares at a robin's breast...

- It's enough to make you sick!

- I happen to be attracted to orange breasts.

You're not a robin. Or a dove or a hawk.

You're a pigeon and I'm a pigeon.

I'm sorry. She sits on that nest all day long,

and she just gets a little crazy.

May I ask you something? If I turn this way,

don't I look a little like a blue jay?

Poor equilibrium may mean an ear infection.

Urrrp! Ahem!

- Or it may be due to this.

- I'm a social drinker. Ha-ha! Very social.

Stand up. Stand up.

- Touch your nose and raise your left foot.

- Nose. Leg.

Ohh! Ohh!

I don't know. I think you're wasted.

- I want to see you walk this line.

- Oh, my goodness.

Ooh-la-la!

Hic!

You have a drinking problem.

I suggest that you stop drinking.

- I think you may be an alcoholic.

- Really?

- Nobody likes a drunk monkey.

- Sorry.

You're suffering from

obsessive-compulsive behaviour.

Throw!

Whenever you want the ball,

think about something else.

- Just throw the ball.

- Can you relax your mind?

This is the way it works. You're the person.

You throw the ball. I'm the dog. I get it.

- Ooh, look at you goin'!

- I'll pee on your carpet.

- It's very irritating, this ball thing.

- Shut up and throw it.

Am I alone here? Am I by myself?

Am I in another universe?

- Throw the damn ball!

- He threw the ball! Oh, he threw the ball!

I'll get it! Hold on! I'll get it, I'll get it!

I love you! I love you! You threw the ball.

You can't save 'em all, Hasselhoff.

'Ey, is there a doctor in the house?

Up here.

Doc, they're gonna kick me off the force.

I'm as blind as a bat.

- Can you help me?

- Just gimme a minute, all right?

- All right.

- Keep it quiet.

Tell me what you think of these.

Holy road apples! I can see!

No deskjob for me.

- Thanks a million.

- You are most welcome.

This is gonna be great. I'll make lieutenant.

Nothing can stop me! Look, a doughnut shop.

Wow, what a night! All those animals.

And I bet that's just the tip of the iceberg.

When word gets around...

- Doctor, you must help us, quick!

- What happened?

It is all my fault.

I should not have let him out.

- Calm down.

- The circus tiger, he will jump.

- I told you to stop drinkin'.

- Oh, drinking! I give it up!

- That's better. Let's go.

- Wait for me. You don't know where it is.

And now, on the day I end it all...

...I'd like to leave Margaret the bearded lady

my rhinestone collar and my wet-dry shaver.

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