Doctor Who: The Infinite Quest Page #2

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-Literally.

Less of a drain on rations.

Now, what I reckon is,

to land up in a place like this

you dogs are either OilCorp spies

or planning a spot of pirating yourselves.

Or, indeed, none of the above.

Either way, I don't want you on the Black Gold.

So ahoy there, me heartless hearties.

Throw these sand lovers overboard!

Hold hard there, lads!

Swabb, you swab, is this mutiny?

-Yes!

-Never, Captain Kaliko, not mutiny.

-No.

-I just wondered if they be OilCorp spies,

mayhaps we dispose of the bodies

by putting them inside one of the oil rigs? Ha ha!

Make it look like an accident.

You're not as empty-headed as you seems,

Mr. Mate.

We'll use the one we just keelhauled.

Aye, aye, Captain.

Don't worry, Doctor, Martha,

you're perfectly safe with me.

What's he up to?

I don't think our Mr. Swabb

is all he's cracked up to be.

I wonder.

Said your prayers yet, Doctor?

Sorry, let me see if I've got this right.

We somehow get inside this rig

that you've drained of oil,

and then what?

A quick blast from me mate Swabb's

laser pistol, the remaining oil ignites.

OilCorp find us dead inside, boiled in oil.

-That's murder!

-Accidents happen.

Now, me hearties, the plank.

-Careful with that!

-Uh-uh, uh-uh, me first.

I thought Swabb would have made his move.

-What move?

-He's no pirate. If he thinks we're with OilCorp,

-then my guess is...

-That he is, too?

Fingers crossed. Ready!

I like your style, Doctor. Shame you have to die.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Now, let us go, or I'll destroy your ship!

What, with that? No deal!

I wish you weren't so obstinate, Kaliko. Oh, well.

(CLANKING)

Why's it not working?

Patience.

Sand in the mechanism. Hang on.

-Success!

-And?

And hold on tight.

Corp dog! You're damaging the Black Gold!

We're on your side. We came here to save you.

It's all right, Martha.

The Captain's pirate days are over.

-I'm with OilCorp.

-Told you.

OilCorp have promised me a new body

to replace this bag of bones.

Same goes for you

if you'll help me turn the Captain in.

They'll never turn on me!

Oh, no.

Swabb here seems to think Martha and I

are with OilCorp, too.

-You're not?

-No.

-You're not?

-No!

We've come here to rescue you.

-Why?

-SWABB:
Doesn't matter. Your time is up!

Rigs, attack!

-Lucky they're not great shots.

-Define "lucky".

No! No, more precision! Fire with more...

(SWABB SCREAMING)

Roll with it, Martha!

Doctor? Doctor?

Forget it, he's gone.

At least I can think of a good use for you.

-Oh, really?

-Yes. My five-year-service reward from OilCorp

is that I get to choose a new body soon.

And you know what?

I can see myself wearing yours.

Slinky, yeah!

We're not here to cause any trouble, right?

We're on a mission.

Got to collect these data chips,

stop this Baltazar from stealing the Infinite,

which will give him infinite power.

-That's bad 'cause he's not a nice bloke. Swabb?

-Yeah.

Behind you.

DOCTOR:
Aye, aye!

-Oh, sorry.

-Doctor!

SWABB:
Whoa!

(SCREAMING)

Will the vile dog live?

The sand seemed soft, probably broke his fall.

-SWABB:
I'll get you for this!

-Yup, he's okay.

-You need some help with that?

-Yeah, could you? Ouch!

Doctor, you said you'd come here for me.

What exactly did you mean by that?

-Ah.

-Well?

Your earring, Captain. You know what it is really?

(CACKLING)

You're after the Infinite. You fool!

Now, I was going to offer you both a

berth on my next ship,

but seeing as you had an ulterior motive

in rescuing me...

There's only room for one in my lifeboat anyhow.

-Looks like she came down near the Tardis.

-We have to catch her.

If he gets the chip and finds the Infinite...

He gets his heart's desire.

The destruction of you, me and Earth.

Look! Oh, no.

-Surely the fall couldn't do that?

-No.

She's been murdered.

Live by the cutlass, die by the cutlass it seems.

-Doctor.

-I'm so sorry, Kaliko.

We've got what we came for.

Let's see where we're going next.

(WHOOSHING)

Hang on! There could be anything out there.

Snakes like bendy buses.

Sabre-toothed gorillas. Anything!

-Excellent!

-Right, that way is Main Street,

so that is probably downtown.

-Where's the lights?

-Lights?

MARTHA:
A city should be full of lights,

especially at night.

(BUZZING)

Doctor! They're bugs!

So I see, and they're about to swarm!

-Doctor! The bugs!

-Ahhh!

Swarming all around us.

Go on! Get out of it!

What's the matter with you two?

-Doctor.

-I know.

-What are you staring at?

-Thank you for the timely arrival, Mr...

Mergrass. Ulysses Mergrass.

Good thing the bugs listen to you.

-We have an understanding.

-MARTHA:
I noticed.

I'm here to provide their community,

via their queen, with protection.

-What's that?

-What they need protecting from.

(ALARM SOUNDING)

-Hang on, those are war planes.

-What do you expect in a war zone?

BOTH:
A war zone?

Sonic attack incoming!

You know what? I think he's got the right idea.

DOCTOR:
Martha? Martha! Look out!

-Pretty, isn't it?

-If you like that sort of thing.

Careful! Don't touch what isn't yours yet.

Breakages must still be paid for.

Besides which, they won't activate

until I give your queen this key-coder

to switch everything on.

You all right?

The towers are built from dung, not rock.

-But even so.

-Yeah, I'm fine.

It's beautiful, really beautiful.

Well said, Martha Jones.

Ah! Martha Jones, the Mantasphid Queen.

The Mantasphid Queen, ma'am, Martha Jones.

-Your Majesty?

-Spot on.

As I was saying, these alien attackers...

I hope you're not putting a business proposition.

The bidding is over. I won.

Mergrass is correct, Doctor.

We have our military adviser already,

we do not need another.

Oh, military adviser, is it?

Interesting euphemism for gun-running.

-Gun-running?

-In the crates.

They've caught a pilot!

Mergrass, they've caught a pilot!

Stand well back.

I want to see what you're fighting against.

Oh, what are you?

Crush it! Squash it! Get it away from me!

-Wait, it's...

-Trying to kill me, I know!

No, it's panicking. Doctor, it's just frightened.

Oh. Oh, oh, Martha, you are a marvel.

Calm, calm, calm. Shh, shh, shh.

Hey, I'm not going to hurt you.

(GASPING)

Thank you. Thank you so much, I...

Training didn't prepare me, I didn't...

It's all right, calm down. You're fine now.

Sorry, suit got damaged when I came down.

No air left. I thought I was gonna die.

-I don't want to die.

-Well, you didn't.

Fleshy biped!

We must be protected from fleshy bipeds.

Destroy them all!

You can destroy them, Your Majesty,

with the weapons you bought.

-What's your name, pilot?

-Pilot Kelvin.

Pilot Kelvin, what's wrong with you?

Picking a fight with a bunch of defenseless bugs.

-Eh? We didn't start it!

-Yes, they did.

The fleshy bipeds have been trying

to exterminate us. Wipe us out!

No! You don't understand.

This is Myarr, this was my home,

where I was born, brought up. We were here first!

Is this true?

This used to be a lovely place.

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