Doctor Who The Lodger Page #3

Season #5 Episode #11

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[Upstairs door]

Man:
Thank you, Craig, but I don't need your help.

[Downstairs]

(The Doctor, with a towel around his waist, goes to the stairway. He points the toothbrush at the upstairs door and uses it like the sonic.)

The Doctor:
What happened, what's going on?

Craig:
Is that my toothbrush?

The Doctor:
Correct. You spoke to the man upstairs?

Craig:
Yeah.

The Doctor:
What did he look like?

Craig:
More normal than you do at the moment, mate. What are you doing?

The Doctor:
I thought you might be in trouble.

Craig:
Thanks. Well, if I ever am, you can come and save me with my toothbrush.

(Craig's phone rings, so he goes to answer it. Sophie comes in the front door.)

Sophie:
Oh! Hello.

The Doctor:
Ah! Hello. The Doctor.

Sophie:
Right.

The Doctor:
You must be Sophie.

(Air kisses)

Sophie:
Oh. Oh.

[Flat]

Craig:
No, Dom's in Malta. There's nobody around. Hang on a sec. We've got a match today, pub league. We're one down if you fancy it?

The Doctor:
Pub league. A drinking competition?

Craig:
No, football. Play football.

The Doctor:
Football. Football. Yes, blokes play football. I'm good at football, I think.

Craig:
You've saved my life. I've got somebody. Yeah, all right, I'll see you down there. Hey, Soph.

Sophie:
Hey, I thought I'd come early and meet your new flatmate.

The Doctor:
Do you play, Sophie?

Craig:
No, Soph just stands on the sidelines. She's my mascot.

Sophie:
I'm your mascot? Mascot?

Craig:
Well, yeah, not my mascot. It's a football match. I can't take a date.

Sophie:
I didn't say I was your date.

Craig:
Neither did I.

The Doctor:
Better get dressed.

Craig:
The spare kit's just in the bottom drawer.

The Doctor:
Bit of a mess.

(The Doctor goes into his room and shuts the door.)

Craig:
What do you think?

Sophie:
You didn't say he was gorgeous.

(The Doctor puts his head out of his room.)

Craig:
You unlocked the door. How did you do that? Those are your keys. You must have left them last time you came here.

Sophie:
Yeah, but I. How do you know these are my keys?

Craig:
I've been holding them.

Sophie:
I have got another set.

The Doctor:
You've got two sets of keys to someone else's house?

Sophie:
Yeah?

The Doctor:
I see. You must like it here too.

[Doctor's room]

(Putting on the 11 shirt backwards.)

The Doctor:
So, I'm going out. If I hang about the house all the time, him upstairs might get suspicious and notice me.

[Tardis]

Amy:
Football. Okay, well done. That is normal.

The Doctor [OC]:
Yeah, football. All outdoorsy.

[Doctor's room]

The Doctor:
Now, football's the one with the sticks, isn't it?

[Park]

Craig:
What are you actually called? What's your proper name?

The Doctor:
Just call me the Doctor.

Sophie:
Yeah.

Craig:
I can't go up to these guys and say hey, this is my new flatmate, he's called the Doctor.

The Doctor:
Why not?

Craig:
Because it's weird.

(They get to the rest of the team.)

Sean:
All right, Craig. Soph. All right, mate.

The Doctor:
Hello, I'm Craig's new flatmate. I'm called the Doctor.

(Air kisses.)

Sean:
All right, Doctor. I'm Sean. So, where are you strongest?

The Doctor:
Arms.

Craig:
No, he means what position on the field.

The Doctor:
Not sure. The front? The side? Below.

Sean:
Are you any good though?

The Doctor:
Let's find out.

(The game is starting.)

Woman:
Yeah, we're going to win.

(The Doctor plays very well)

Sophie:
That's not bad. Yes! Go!

Craig:
One two. One two.

(But he doesn't pass to Craig.)

Sophie:
Go on, Doctor! Go on, Doctor!

(The Doctor scores a goal!)

Sophie:
Doctor! Doctor! You're brilliant. You're amazing.

Player:
Come on, Craig. Catch up, mate.

Sophie:
Come on, Craig. Show them what you've got.

(Craig is about to take the kick when the Doctor steals it from him and scores again to the crowd cheering.)

The Doctor:
Oh yes, I love this game.

Crowd:
Doctor! Doctor! Doctor! Doctor!

(The Doctor scores more goals as Craig gets more annoyed with him.)

[Aickman Road]

(An old woman is walking down the sidewalk next to Craig's house. A little girl's voice comes out of the intercom.)

Little Girl[OC]:
Please can you help me? Can you help me, please? Can you help me?

Old Woman:
Hello?

(The door unlocks and she goes inside.)

[House]

(A little girl is atop the stairs and the lights are flickering once again.)

Little Girl:
I've lost my mum and I don't know where she is. Please can you help me?

Old Woman:
Help you? You poor thing. What's happened?

Little Girl:
Can you help me find her?

(The Woman goes up the stairs.)

[Park]

Sean:
You are so on the team. Next week we've got the Crown and Anchor. We're going to annihilate them.

The Doctor:
Annihilate? No. No violence, do you understand me? Not while I'm around. Not today, not ever. I'm the Doctor, the Oncoming Storm, and you basically meant beat them in a football match, didn't you?

Sean:
Yeah.

The Doctor:
Lovely. What sort of time?

(Craig opens a can of drink and gets sprayed with the foamas the whole team laughs at him. Then it repeats on a loop and only The Doctor is unaffected. He runs off and calls Amy on his earpiece.)

The Doctor:
Amy?

[TARDIS]

(The TARDIS is shaking and sparks fly off the console as Amy is holding on to the tv screen.)

Amy:
Its happening again. Worse.

[Park]

The Doctor:
What does the scanner say?

[Tardis]

Amy:
A lot of nines. Is it good that they're nines? Tell me it's good that they're all nines.

[Park]

The Doctor:
Yes, yes, it's, it's good. Zigzag plotter. Zigzag plotter, Amy.

[TARDIS]

(She does the zigzag plotter. There's an explosion and Amy falls onto the floor. She screams.)

[Park]

The Doctor:
Amy? Are you there?

[Tardis]

The Doctor [OC]:
Amy?

Amy:
Yes. Hello.

[Park]

The Doctor:
Oh, thank heavens. I thought for a moment the Tardis had been flung off into the vortex

[Tardis]

The Doctor [OC]:
With you inside it, lost forever.

Amy:
Wait, you mean that could actually happen?

[Park]

Amy [OC]:
You have got to get me out of here.

[Park]

Amy [OC]:
You have got to get me out of here.

The Doctor:
How are the numbers?

[Tardis]

(She looks at the scanner.)

Amy:
All fives.

[Park]

(The Doctor looks over to Craig and the team. They have stopped repeating.)

The Doctor:
Fives? Even better.

[Tardis]

The Doctor [OC]:
Still, it means the effect's almost unbelievably powerful and dangerous, but don't worry.

[Park]

The Doctor:
Hang on, okay?

[Tardis]

Amy:
Hey.

The Doctor [OC]:
I've got some rewiring to do.

Amy:
Hang on.

[Flat]

(Craig knocks on the Doctor's door.)

The Doctor:
Hello, flat mate.

Craig:
Hey, man. Er, listen. Er, Sophie's coming round tonight and I was wondering if you could give us some space?

The Doctor:
Oh, don't mind me. You won't even know I'm here.

(Bang upstairs.)

The Doctor:
That's the idea.

(He shuts the door.)

The Doctor [OC]:
Yes, perfect! What a beauty.

(Later Sophie notices the stain on the wall has gotten bigger.)

Sophie:
That's got bigger.

Craig:
Oh, yeah.

Sophie:
Are we going out?

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