Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story Page #9

Surprise.

Stick it in your ear, La Fleur. I wouldn't sell

you your gym back for all King Midas's silver.

The gym is mine. So you can take your band

of yellow-bellied losers and crawl out of here.

You're right. I can't make you

sell Average Joe's to me.

So I guess I'll just take your advice

and invest in something.

- Say the controlling stake of Globo Gym.

- That's preposterous. I'd never allow it.

Globo Gym is a publicly traded company.

There's nothing you can do about it.

So I would control Globo Gym

and everything that Globo Gym owns,

which, as of last night, is Average Joe's Gym.

I'm your new boss, White.

You can't be my boss. Nobody can.

I'm my own boss. I created myself.

- You're fired, pal.

- You can't do anything to me.

You're going down, La Fleur,

like a sweet muffin.

- Another time, another time.

- You suck, La Fleur.

Give me that.

Man, the blindfold was crazy.

Peter.

Look. It's Steve the Pirate.

I just wanted to tell you

that I thought about what you said, and

I guess you're right.

I'm not really a pirate.

I don't know, Steve.

If you're not a pirate,

who the hell am I gonna split

all that buried treasure with?

Peter...

Gar, Steve.

We missed you.

Hey, you.

Hey, you.

- Joyce?

- Kate.

- I thought you were in Guam.

- I caught an early flight. I wouldn't miss this.

You are amazing.

- I told you she was a lesbian.

- Wow. Good call.

Hey. I'm not a lesbian.

You're not?

No.

I'm bisexual.

Snap.

All right, everybody. Smile big.

Hi. I'm Peter La Fleur,

owner and operator of Average Joe's Gym.

I'm here to tell you

you're perfectjust the way you are.

But if you feel like losin' a few pounds, gettin'

healthier, and makin' friends in the process,

Joe's is the place for you.

Don't forget that youth dodgeball classes

are forming right now.

So come on down and learn a great game the

way it's supposed to be played. Right, kids?

Right.

Spare me.

I won that tournament.

F***ing Chuck Norris.

Julie Clayton & Rob Colling

Yeah. I hope you're all happy now.

Good guy wins, bad guy loses.

Big friggin' surprise.

I love happy endings.

You know, that's the problem

with the American cinema.

Can't handle any complexity in it, you know?

"Don't make me think,

I just wanna be entertained."

All right, fine.

You want a little somethin'-somethin'

for the ride home?

Check these boots out for size.

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard

And they're like, "It's better than yours"

Damn right, it's better than yours

I could teach you, but I'd have to charge

What the boys go crazy for

They lose their minds

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard

Damn right, it's better than yours

I could teach you, but I'd have to charge

You happy? Fatty make a funny?

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