Dogma Page #15

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LOKI:

(frustrated)

Just read 'em their rights already.

BARTLEBY:

(sighs; circling the table)

Mooby, the Golden Calf. Created by Nancy Goidruff -a former kindergarten

teacher - in nineteen eighty nine to fill a gap in the Saturday morning

schedule on local network K-REL Bought by the Complex Corporation in

nineteen ninety one and broadcast nationally as the 'The Mooby Fun-Time

Hour', it picked up a large following of children, ages three to eight, and

spawns sixteen records, two theatrical films, eight prime-time specials, a

library of priced-to-own video cassettes, and bicoastal theme parks dubbed

'MoobyWorld'.

(beat)

Did I miss anything?

Whitland and company stare for a beat.

WHITLAND:

You forgot 'Mooby Magazine'. Is there a point to this?

BARTLEBY:

(grimly)

You and your board are idolators.

Whitland and company stare dumbfounded. Loki finishes carving and stands

beside Bartleby.

LOKI:

(to Bartleby)

How could your forget the magazine?

Bartleby rolls his eyes. Loki turns to the Whitland and holds up the

sculpture.

LOKI:

It's you.

(sets sculpture on table)

Do you know much about voo-doo? Fascinating practice, very close to

Satanism, but not really much of a religion - no doctrine of faith. Just an

arrangements of superstitions, the most well- known of which is the voo-doo

doll.

(sneezes; waits; continues)

A mock-up of an individual is subjected to various pokes and prods, and the

desired result is that the individual will feel the effects.

WHITLAND:

(to nearest board member)

Call security - now.

Loki throws the knife at the table, severing the phone cord.

LOKI:

All lines are currently down.

BARTLEBY:

(to Whitland)

Again -. I apologize for my friend's...

LOKI:

(frustrated)

Would you just get on with it?!

BARTLEBY:

(miffed; to Whitland)

You are responsible for raising an icon that draws worship from the Lord.

You've broken the first commandment, but more than that, I'm afraid none of

you passes for a decent human being. Your continued existence is a mockery

of morality.

(looks to Loki; Loki nods)

Like you - Mister Bernard.

(stands behind board member)

Last year you cheated on your wife of seventeen years, eight times - twice

with prostitutes. You even had sex with her best friend while she was at

her garden club meeting and you were supposed to be watching your kids.

LOKI:

In the bed you and your wife share, no less.

The board member stares in disbelief. Loki nods to Bartleby and he moves

on.

BARTLBY:

And you, Mister Newman.

Loki sifts through compact discs. He pulls out one entitled 'Mooby Mania'

and pops it into a player. A simple children's song echoes through the

room.

BARTLEBY:

You got your girlfriend drunk at last year's Christmas party, and then paid

a kid from the mailroom to have sex with her while she was passed out, just

so you could break up with her - guilt free - when she sobbingly confessed

the next morning that she cheated on you. She killed herself three months

later. You sent flowers to her wake.

The board member's face is frozen. Bartleby shakes his head and moves

quickly around the table.

BARTLEBY:

(not liking his job)

Mister Pereira disowned his gay son; Mister Turran put his mother in a

third-rate nursing home and used the profits from the sale of her house to

purchase an oriental rug for himself; Mister Barker flew to the Phillipines

on the company account to have sex with an eleven year old boy; Mister

Bloom okayed the production of Mooby dolls from what he knew were unsafe

and toxic materials because it was less costly.

Bartleby stops at the female Board member and looks at her, relieved.

BARTLEBY:

You, on the other hand, are an innocent. You lead a good life and have

never misused your power here.

She stares at Bartleby. Loki pats her on the back and urges Bartleby on.

BARTLEBY:

But you, Mister Whitland. You have more skeletons in your closet than this

assembled party. I can't even mention them aloud.

Bartleby leans over and whispers something unheard into Whitland's ear.

Whitland goes green. Bartleby steps back. Loki stands beside Whitland.

LOKI:

You're her father, you sick f***.

Whitland begins sobbing.

BARTLEBY:

(to Loki)

Can I go now?

LOKI:

(cheerily rubbing his head)

Go on, you crazy kid.

Bartlebv exits. Loki turns menacingly on the others.

LOKI:

With the exception of Miss Pryce, there is not a decent human being amongst

you. Do you know what makes a human being decent?

(beat)

Fear. And therein lies the problem. None of you has anything to fear

anymore. You rest comfortably in seats of inscrutable power, hiding behind

your false idol, far from judgement - lives shrouded in secrecy even from

one another. But not from God.

Loki goes to exit but pauses. He turns around.

LOKI:

I forgot my little voo-doo doll.

(looks at Whitland)

Wow. It really does look just like you. Maybe, if I believed enough...

Loki begins moaning menacingly, slowly waving an open palm over the figure.

Whitland looks at it horrified, then at Loki, then back at the figure. He

sweats and shifts in his seat - eyes pinned on the figure. Loki lets out a

shriek and smashes the figure with his fist. Whitland freezes, eyes closed.

Slowly, he opens his eyes - unharmed.

LOKI:

I don't believe in voo-doo.

Loki swiftly exits. The Board Members sit in awed silence. Then the doors

burst open and Loki storms back in.

LOKI:

But I do believe in this.

Gun blazing, he takes out the male board members, including Whitland, in a

flurry of bullets. The remaining female Board Member covers her head with

her arms. Loki hangs his arm at his side and touches her hair.

LOKI:

(smiling)

It's okay. You've done nothing wrong. They were bad men. You are a pure

soul.

She looks at him, terrified. He smiles back. Then his expression hardens.

LOKI:

But you didn't say 'God Bless You' when I sneezed.

He quickly puts the gun to her head. She slams her eyes shut.

OC BARTLEBY:

(cautionary)

Loki!

Loki freezes and looks OC. He grimaces and holsters his piece.

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