Dogma Page #20

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The computer says.

LOKI:

Come on - how many people can possibly be going to New Jersey?

WOMAN:

Enough to fill a bus.

BARTLEBY:

(to Loki)

You had to drag that judgement out. You couldn't just hit and run.

(to Woman)

When's the next one?

WOMAN:

Same time tomorrow.

BARTLEBY:

What?! Doesn't this place warrant at least two buses a day?

WOMAN:

I take it you've never been to the Garden State. Next.

Bartleby and Loki look around.

LOKI:

There's no one else here.

WOMAN:

Then I guess it's lunch time.

(she shuts her window)

LOKI:

We should have learned to drive a long time ago. Infinite celestial power

and we can't catch a bus.

BARTLEBY:

Just shut up, this is your fault.

LOKI:

You can either lament over our mass transit folly, or you can listen to my

suggestion.

BARTLEBY:

It's your suggestions that prevent us from negotiating what should be a

simple matter of catching or staying on a bus!

LOKI:

Why fall victim to gravity when we can just as easily rise above?

BARTLEBY:

(stares at him)

Fly?

LOKI:

We got wings, right? Let's use them.

OC VOICE:

I wouldn't suggest that.

The pair spin and gawk.

AZRAEL leans in the doorway. He removes his hat, revealing two stubby

horns.

AZRAEL:

You wouldn't want to stand out, now would you?

INT STRIP JOINT BASEMENT - DUSK

NoMan is tied to a chair in the middle of the floor. Serendipity draws a

circle around him with lipstick. Once finished. she takes a glass of water

and throws it into No Man's face. It roars to life. The Golgothan shakes of

his daze, turning his attention on Serendipity.

NoMAN

The Muse. They told us you were up here.

SERENDIPITY:

Matter of perspective. NoMan. I like to think of it as 'down here'. I have

a few questions for you, sir.

NoMan

Free us from these binds, that you may have answers.

SERENDIPITY:

(heads toward it)

Okay.

(stops; sarcastic)

Oh wait. I'm smarter than that.

NoMan lets out a bellow.

SERENDIPITY:

Face it, big guy - I'm not releasing you until I get answers. This can go

hard or easy. The sooner I get what I want, the sooner you'll be free. Now,

you can start by telling me why you're on this plane?

NoMAN

(beat)

Liquidate the Last Scion.

SERENDIPITY:

See? That wasn't so hard. Now - who sent you? Was it Lucifer?

NoMan laughs in a sinister fashion.

NoMAN

Our master is no one and all. For a time, he will be prince of this world -

and the fate of those who dwell in it will be at the mercy of his whimsy.

And then he will sever reality and crush existence, like a thumb punctures

a fontanell, giving peace to those who've been without for so long.

SERENDIPITY:

Did Bartleby and Loki send you?

NoMAN

Resist no further, Muse. Deliver over to us the conflicted one, that this

world may die screaming. No power - divine or inherited - threatens the

crusade. You cannot win. Soon will rise of the cry of the abandonned,

begging your God to put an end to the madness. And only as being becomes

not, will they know that the God of Abraham lay dormant while the dream

perished in a blink. Your God is not dead - He's brain dead.

SERENDIPITY:

She, you chauvinist bastard - She's brain dead. And no She's not. Stop

trying to be so spooky. Tell me who sent vou, or I'll use whatever

influence I have below' to make Hell even worse for you.

NoMAN

You speak of Azrael.

(he laughs)

We pity you. Muse. You're still playing the old game. The one that could

have made good on your threat is gone.

SERENDIPITY:

What do you mean. gone? He escaped?

NoMAN

No soul escapes Hell, but one.

(beat - as if It's heard something)

Would that I could cross the threshold of your confining circle, I would

crush your half-life throat. But my Master does not abandon me to this

mockery of a prison. We will come back for the girl. And when we do, it

will take more than fragrant mist to keep our hands from crushing her head.

NoMan goes stiff and then limp. His body begins to melt.

INT TOY STORE - DAY

Azrael leads Bartleby and Loki through the aisles, passing tons of stuffed

animals.

BARTLEBY:

Jesus Christ, Azrael - how'd you get out of Hell?

AZRAEL:

I told them I was coming up on a routine possession. I don't have much

time. If they figure out my ruse, they'll come looking for me.

BARTLEIBY:

You lied?

LOKI:

Go figure. Him. A demon.

(to Azrael)

Why'd you bring us in here?

AZRAEL:

Because you two fucks are inches away from getting yourselves caught. Going

around killing people, about to uncase your wings... don't you have any

idea what's going on?

LOKI:

We're going back home.

AZRAEL:

Are you so clueless as to think you can just waltz back into Heaven?

BARTLEBY:

Why not? We're going back clean.

AZ RAEL:

Let me let you in on a little secret, okay: everyone is looking for you.

Both sides - above and below. The orders are to terminate you on sight.

BARTLEBY:

(shocked)

Why?

AZRAEL:

You're pissing people off, that's why! Word on the grapevine is that God's

pissed off at your presumption, and I know Lucifer's pissed because you

a**holes might just succeed where he's failed so many times, making him

look bad.

BARTLEBY:

So they're going to kill us?!?

AZRAEL:

They're going to try'. That's why you have to travel incognito - tone down

your behavior, stay off their respective radars. Go about this thing more

subtly. Quit killing people - that's high profile. And for God's sake,

don't uncase your wings until you have to transubstantiate. Because the

minute you let them flap, legions of thrones and hordes of demons will

fight each other over who gets to kill you first.

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