Dogma Page #32

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BETHANY:

Are you a complete lunatic?! Everyone's out there battling that thing and

you want to cower back here and jump my bones?! We have to go down

fighting!

JAY:

No - no time for that foreplay stuff, just sex.

BETHANY:

You pig...!

JAY:

What?! It's all over; nobody's gonna beat that thing! Now we can either lay

here all comatose like that

John Doe Jersey bastard behind us, or we can make with the love.

Bethany freezes.

BETHANY:

(finally!)

What did you say?!

JAY:

'Make with the love'? I just said that to be sensitive. Usually I call it

boning.

BETHANY:

No - about John Doe Jersey?

JAY:

That guy - the one that they won't take off life support - John Doe Jersey.

This is where he's at.

BETHANY:

What? Where?

JAY:

Saint Michael's hospital - over there.

(points behind them)

There, across the street, sits a HOSPITAL.

BETHANY:

(thinks)

Where's the nearest boardwalk?

JAY:

Look, I ain't got time to win you a prize or something, we gotta get to it

before...

BETHANY:

WHERE IS IT?!?

JAY:

(scared)

Asbury Park. About five miles away.

BETHANY:

You ever been there?!

JAY:

(really scared)

Once. I was banging this girl who worked at the carousel. She wanted to do

it on the ride, but I got sick and started puking...

BETHANY:

(grabs his face)

DO THEY HAVE SKEE-BALL THERE?!?

JAY:

(piss-scared; high pitched)

...yes.

Bethany kisses Jay hard on the lips, jumps up and looks over the bush.

JAY:

(warming up)

Now that's more like it.

Rufus and Serendipity battle Bartleby, his wings thrashing about. Silent

Bob is getting back on his feet.

BETHANY:

BOB!

Silent Bob looks to Bethany. She waves him over and bends back down to Jay

who half-closes his eyes, and puckers his lips. Bethany pinches his lips

together and raises jay to his feet, ust as Silent Bob arri\'es.

BETHANY:

(to Jay)

Whatever you do - stall Bartleby from going into that church!

(to Silent Bob)

Bob - come with me!

(they exit)

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