Doing Time on Maple Drive Page #2

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- Oh, no.

- What? What's the matter?

- I forgot to get the sherbet for tonight.

- Sherbet with pie?

No, you.

It... It's for the punch.

It goes in the punch.

Your mother likes it.

- Uh, Matt, honey...

- Want me to get it? I'll get it. No problem.

- I'll go with you.

- No, let my family entertain you for a couple of minutes.

- I've got money, Mom.

- Well, I, um...

No, really. It's really close.

I'll be right back.

- What kind, Mom?

- A half gallon of lime sherbet.

- Try not to miss me too much. All right?

- Okay.

So when's everyone coming?

- Soon.

- Thanks, son.

So, uh, Andy's gonna be

the best man. It's definite.

I told you that.

I think it's something...

something I would

probably remember.

Lisa?

- Lisa?

- Yeah.

Why don't we save the pie

for when everyone is here?

All right.

Over here.

The youngest pictures

are at the bottom...

and then work their way up to as close

to the present as we can be.

We moved around a lot

when the children were young.

I guess if we had

anything to do over...

we would have stayed

in one place...

or at least

settled down a little sooner.

Still, wherever we went,

there was always a room...

except Korea.

There was always

a room like this one...

and after we got

everything moved in...

we'd all come in

and take a place on the wall...

and just start putting

everything back up again.

I think it

gave them continuity.

Yeah, no doubt about it.

We've always tried to find ways

to strengthen our identity as a family.

- I promise this will be over soon.

- It's perfectly fine.

Uh, Karen. By the way,

thanks a lot for telling Tim about Andy.

I thought you had told him.

Do you hate me now?

- Yep.

- Matt. You're awful.

- Almost there.

- Are you going to West Point, Timmy?

No, I don't think so, Granny.

I'm too old for West Point now.

Your father

will be so happy.

- I'll go then.

- What time is it?

Phil. Gene. Come on.

- Okay, I'll be right there.

- Judy? Cindy.

I can't decide whether this is

one of the benefits or the shortcomings...

having a professional

photographer for a son-in-law.

I wasn't aware there were

any shortcomings.

Cindy, come on.

- How are you, Mom?

- Oh, uh, Uncle Gene.

This is our first picture with Allison,

so try not to make any noises with your body.

Thank you very much. Phil, smile.

Please, look like you're having

a good time. Okay, everybody.

All right. Ready?

- Set.

- Is it set?

- Go.

- All right, everybody.

Think "love. "

There we go. That was good.

- It's a math problem.

- Oh.

I'm sorry. I know I'm kind of

scary-looking in the morning.

Uh, you mind

if I play through?

- They're waiting on me downstairs.

- Oh, sure.

Thanks.

Whoa.

The hair fairies came and danced

on my head last night.

Um, what is this

about a math problem?

Oh, well...

it's either a math problem

or a history question...

or a geography

something or other.

You're kidding.

"I was the first man elected

to the presidency of the United States...

who was born

under the American flag. "

"Martin Van Buren. "

Who does this?

- Dad.

- Still?

He's done it ever since

we were little kids.

You know,

math problem.

Something he likes to call

"vocabulary builders. "

He has a lot of time

on his hands.

It's funny, actually,

if we get the answer right.

Yeah? What if you don't

get the answer right?

Well, it's still funny...

but for entirely

different reasons.

Come on, Miss Grable!

Well, at least it was better

than one of our family parties.

- Really?

- Yeah.

My family almost never

gets together without a lawyer.

Yea! Way to go!

- He's so funny.

- Yeah, I spend all my time here laughing.

- He doesn't like me much.

- Really?

Well, I married his daughter and kept her

from becoming a great novelist.

Oh, well,

that was mean of you.

The whole concept

of art photography...

is not something

Phil appreciates, you know.

Wedding photos,

no problem.

He likes wedding photos, but

the whole idea that somebody might...

spend a lot of money

on expensive equipment...

you know,

turn their apartment into a studio...

that's very challenging

for him.

Aaah.

No fair, no fair,

wounding an older man. Ha-ha-ha!

Is Tim in school, or is he just...

- No, he flunked out.

- Really.

- He seems pretty smart.

- He is.

He also looks a little

hung over, doesn't he?

Oops.

You know Tim

used to be R.O.T.C.?

Yeah, Matt said

he wanted to go to West Point.

I'm not sure about that. I think Phil

wanted him to go to West Point.

Tim just wanted to do

whatever Phil wanted.

But I think he didn't

end up having the grades...

or, um, the captain didn't have

the connections or something.

But you're right though.

Tim is...

Tim is pretty smart.

There you go. Nice!

Come on, Tim!

I'd love to see some of these

pictures on the wall.

You've seen the wall?

- Yeah.

- Yeah.

What, um...

What was Matt supposed to be?

Matt?

Well, given the way

Karen and Tim have turned out...

it doesn't really matter much

what Matt does.

Really?

No. See, he just

has to be perfect.

And, um,

if he isn't perfect...

just keep it to yourself, because I don't

think anybody in this family wants to know.

- Come on!

- Yes!

All right.

40-love. Set point.

Come on, Tim.

Set point. Come on.

This is set point. Right?

Set point?

Yes, this is set point.

Out.

Wait, wait, wait.

Okay.

Come on, Karen.

We're waitin'.

In! Yes!

- Yea!

- Good game. Uhh!

- Ow!

- What the hell's the matter with you?

What do you want?

I couldn't get it.

I would never have made

that shot. What are you hitting me for?

I'm not hitting you

because you missed the shot.

I am hitting you

because you didn't try.

Good game, Karen.

Good game. Good game, Matt.

Say something to him.

Gotta let'em win

every now and then...

or they get discouraged.

Come here.

- You played so well, your father let you win.

- Isn't he nice?

- Tim, you all right?

- I'm not playing anymore. This is it.

- Hey, look, it's...

- Leave me alone. All right?

All I did

is ask you, Tim.

- I said leave me alone. Okay? Leave me alone!

- Okay, fine.

Three months

of driver ed.

One month

with a simulator.

One month of behind-the-wheel

practice with an instructor.

And the day you get

your license...

with absolutely

no training whatsoever...

you can crawl

into the backseat...

and congratulations,

you're a parent.

What do you think

that says about our society?

Now he's started, "No one knows

how to be a good parent. "

This isn't about the back seat of cars?

I can't stand this.

The most important part of parenting...

Well, not the most important part.

I guess, reasonably, you can't

break it down that way.

- It's preparation. It's key. Key!

- Hey, look!

It's the Carters, and they're taking

their women out for a walk!

- Hey, Tom. Hey.

- How ya doin', Andy? How are you, young man?

- Hey, Andy. How ya doin'?

- This is Allison Hall.

- I'm Andy Paulson. Nice to meet you.

- Nice to meet you.

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