Doing Time on Maple Drive Page #3

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- Matt told me all about you.

- Just remember...

Matt is jealous because I'm more popular

than he is, and he can't stand it.

Hey.

I've got to get to work.

I'll see you later, Andy.

- See you later, Captain.

- We're coming, Dad.

- Yeah.

- So, Andy, what are you doing today?

- I'm going with you guys.

- Oh, no!

Hey, Tom!

Put your wife on a leash!

You guys played a good game.

You looked like professionals out there.

Give me a hand in the car here, Matt.

I got some stuff.

Sure thing.

I just, uh...

I wanted to tell you how much

your mother and I like Allison.

I knew you would, Dad.

There's a couple of things

I want to ask you.

- Okay.

- But, uh... You know, I, uh...

- I don't want to pry.

- All right.

All right.

What I want to know here is if you are

really and truly committed to Allison.

- For better, for worse and all that?

- Yes, I'm completely committed.

And you know

what you're doing?

Did you?

I mean... Well...

Sometimes, uh,

we feel like we're...

locked into something

that we can't back out of.

It's like the French

in World War I.

- You know that story.

- The Guns of August.

I read that in

my eighth-grade summer.

Yeah, well,

that was a disaster.

So, you really and truly

love this girl.

Yep. I do.

Well, that's all that matters.

Well, I appreciate

your asking, Dad.

All right. Take this to

the basement for me, will you?

Yes, sir.

What?

So, a bachelor party, huh?

What can happen? It's gonna be

in the back room of my dad's restaurant.

What?

I don't know.

Just something about being here

and seeing you with your family...

and all these things

that you grew up with.

Mmm. I'm sorry. This is

making you uncomfortable, isn't it?

What?

Well, I'm being

a little too pushy. I'm sorry.

Oh, that's okay.

You don't have to be sorry.

Later.

We're supposed

to be on vacation.

We're not on vacation.

We're visiting my parents.

Do you have any idea

how tense you are?

Yeah, it's all that talk about

raising children. It makes me nuts.

Why?

Tom.

Karen.

We can't afford it.

We can't afford two of us,

much less three of us.

I could work part-time

somewhere.

That is my parents talking.

- Why should you work five million hours a week...

- No, listen, Tom.

I'm not ready

to have a child.

You are not ready

to have a child.

By the time

you think we're ready...

Do you realize what my parents would say

if I were to get pregnant now?

You know how Daddy is

about planning and preparation.

And the money.

Surprise, surprise. I didn't

marry your daddy. I married you.

It's our decision.

If they don't like it, they can just take

a cruise till our kids are through college.

I'm trying to imagine

Daddy on a cruise.

A long, long,

long, long...

- Tom!

- Long, long...

Hey, Nick, old buddy.

Have a nice

couple days off?

Yeah, went out

with my folks on the boat.

- You ready for Matt's party tomorrow?

- Yep.

Pass me a Cape Codder

over there, would you?

Is there a problem

of some kind?

Look, I can't.

You can't?

What do you mean?

You should talk about it

with your dad. Okay?

You're saying my father

told you I can't...

- Yeah?

- Yeah, I've been looking over the books here...

and, you know, uh, there's

S200 missing from petty cash.

- Oh. I borrowed it.

- What for?

- Excuse me?

- What would you like me to list it as?

- Oh.

- Blackmail? Extortion? Hush money? What?

- Blackmail?

- Six months ago...

I noticed the day after

the health inspector came...

you borrowed

S150 from petty cash...

and you listed it

as cleanup expenses.

- We can list it as that.

- What's the point of this?

I'll tell you what the point is.

I'm tired of pretending, you know,

that you're the great dispenser...

of orders

and values and goodness...

and I'm some kind of criminal because

I want a drink in the afternoon.

Fine.

I'm only doing this

because I give up on you.

Nick?

Make the kid a drink if he wants a drink,

and write it off to inventory.

I'm sorry. I should have

told him myself. All right?

There.

Are you satisfied?

Oh, yeah.

I'm really satisfied.

- You've made my life worth living.

- Oh, for God sakes.

You know, I resent...

I really resent the way

you look down on me.

I try. I'm here.

I'm doing something.

It's not like you're so much better

than me. It's not like you're perfect.

And if I want a drink

in the afternoon right now...

then I think

I should have it.

I don't have to explain it to you.

I'm through explaining things to you!

I've done my time

on Maple Drive. Okay?

So I flunked out of school.

So what?

Why couldn't we have just

told Mom I flunked out of school?

Huh?

I didn't kill anyone.

I had a bad time.

So what?

Why can't we tell her

and just move on? Why?

What's gonna happen? What's gonna happen

if we just sit down and say it out loud, Dad?

Look...

If I have to live this way...

I think I deserve

a drink now and then.

If I want it. Okay?

I think it's what I deserve.

Why do you do it here?

Why don't you do it

somewhere else?

Why do you

force me to watch it?

Because I think

it's what you deserve.

What I deserve?

I think you should know, Tim...

the last few days,

every time I have seen you...

every time

I have looked at you...

the only response I have had is

to thank God I have another son.

You have all the advantages.

That doesn't work for me.

I look at you,

and there isn't anyone else.

You're the only father I've got.

Which one of us

is worse off? I wonder.

If music be

the food of love...

play on.

Give me excess of it...

that, surfeiting...

the appetite may sicken,

and so die.

- One more time.

- No, no! Come on!

It's the fourth time

we've watched it.

- This guy's my hero.

- This is brilliant.

- One more time.

- Oh, come on, you guys. No.

No. This is

the fourth time.

- Put on me. Get to me.

- I'm tired of watching that guy.

Oh, that's great.

Just what I want to do, watch you.

Okay, here it is.

Here it is. Hold on, now.

Oh, hello. Hello.

- I'm Andrew Paulson...

- Geek.

And as president of this class, and therefore

the most important senior on this entire tape...

and also as an example

to my peers...

I am pleased to admit that I am going

to spend my entire future...

- Groveling for money as a sleazy advertising executive!

- Yeah!

I want to say hello to Julie...

and good luck to Kyle and Matt

when they get to Yale...

and thank you, Mr. Edwards, for putting

up with us this entire year.

And a hearty congratulations

to Sylvester Stallone on Rocky IV!

Yeah! Rocky! Yeah!

I swear, you can't believe...

They took, like, three weeks telling us...

how serious and sincere

and honest we had to be...

for this video thing, and...

Wait a minute.

Wait, wait.

- Wait. Just let me see this person.

- Wait?

Push'em back!

Okay. Um, my name's Kyle Trainer,

and, uh, I'm trying not to smile.

That's the guy

from the picture on your wall.

I was on the staff of the school paper

and on the debate team...

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