Don Jon Page #8

- Can you get her back?

- I don't think so.

- Did you try to call her?

- She doesn't want me to call her.

- Look what you did.

- Sorry. What do you want me to do?

I just want you to be happy,

that's all! Is that too much to ask?

- I wasn't happy.

- A nice wife and some nice kids?

Look at me!

I look like a grandmother,

but do I have any grandchildren? No!

Am I a bad mother,

is that what I'm hearing?

- Honey, calm down, please!

- You know, Ma, I don't know

if I really want a wife and kids.

What are you saying? You don't mean

that.

- Jon, say something!

- All right!

Stop upsetting your mother!

What the f*** is the matter with you?

- I don't know.

- Having a family is the greatest joy

- in a man's life, everybody knows that!

- Then maybe I'm not a man.

'Cause I sure don't want a family.

Maybe one day, but not right now!

- Well, and that's all she wanted.

- What did she say?

- I said that that girl...

- I cannot hear any f***ing thing!

- What are you saying?

- All I'm saying is, that girl,

she has her own agenda.

She doesn't care about Jonny,

she doesn't know

the first thing about him.

She just wants a guy who's

gonna do whatever she tells him to.

It is a good thing

that she broke up with you.

- Thanks.

- You're welcome.

- Jon, I will f***ing kill you!

- All right. Easy.

All right, listen, listen, I gotta go,

so I'll see you later? All right. Bye.

- Sorry.

- That's cool.

- Sorry about that.

- No problem. How you doing?

- A little windy.

- Yeah, it's windy out here.

- So... I'm good. How are you?

- Good, thanks.

- Everybody good?

- Yeah, great.

- Thanks for meeting me.

- Sure.

Hope you understand why I thought lunch

was not a good idea.

- That's fine. You want some coffee?

- No, actually I gotta go pretty soon, so...

- You changed your hair?

- Yeah...

- So?

- Yeah, so...

I just wanted to apologize.

I lied to you, and I'm sorry for that.

Well, that's all you're gonna say?

I don't really know what I do with that.

What do I say?

I forgive you, or we're supposed

to get back together or something?

- No. No, I just wanted to tell you...

- You're not capable of a relationship, Jon.

- You're not.

- No. Right now I'm not.

'Cause you're a selfish person,

and you're a liar.

- Yeah, I was. I'm sorry.

- I asked you to do one thing for me...

Yeah. I was thinking about that

when you said it before.

Well, I said it because it's true,

that's why.

- It's not true.

- Really?

You didn't only ask me for one thing.

You asked for a lot,

a lot of different things and then...

...I couldn't do it all for you.

Well, when a real man loves a woman,

he doesn't mind doing things for her.

He'll do anything for her.

Yeah, but don't you think that

sounds a little bit one-sided?

No, I don't.

But that's why you like to watch

those whores in those videos,

because you don't gotta

do anything for them, right?

Yeah, that's one-sided also. Definitely.

Look, sweetie, I'm gonna go, OK?

Don't call me anymore.

The streak is over, motherf***er!

How's it feel?

- I'd rather get pizza with my boys.

- That's new.

Every f***ing time we go out,

Don Jon smashes!

But not tonight, ladies and gentlemen.

The fans are devastated.

Jonny, what happened?

Yeah! Well, I thought it was on

with old crop top.

- No, that girl was annoying.

- She was tight though.

- Eight.

- Solid eight.

Her body was at least an eight,

but you didn't talk to her.

- Who cares how she talks?

- You asked why I didn't smash,

that's why I didn't smash. What about you?

You were kicking it to pony-tail, right?

- How did it go?

- You get her name?

- I got a number.

- Oh! Hey!

- You like that?

- F***ing right I do!

- Easy, easy. Did you get her name?

- Yeah!

Wait...

- Oh, f***!

- What?

I saved it as pony-tail.

- Danny-boy!

- Danny-boy!

All right, all right, all right.

Take it easy, take it easy.

This f***ing lady.

I don't usually like it when a girl

looks me right in the eye,

and this girl does that a lot.

But I don't know what it is about her.

When she does it, I don't mind.

I just look right back at her,

and pretty soon...

...I'm hard as a f***ing rock.

It's like she knows what I'm thinking.

Or I know what she's thinking, or...

I don't know, it's that two-way thing.

I f***ing love it.

And I don't mean love like,

"I love her, I wanna marry her."

I'm definitely not thinking

about all that sh*t.

And she's not either.

She can't.

I guess I just mean love like,

you know, like when we're making love.

And while we're doing it,

all the bullshit does fade away,

and it's just me and her, right there,

and yeah, I do lose myself in her,

and I can tell she is losing herself in me,

and we're just f***ing... lost together.

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