Don Peyote Page #7

Yeah. We sleep

in the trees.

Yeah. We're

tree dwellers.

That's cool, man.

Hammocks, actually.

Yeah. Room

with a view.

So...

It's pretty smart.

Wha... What's the situation here,

man?

I mean, look at you.

Here's the situation.

Did you get kicked out of

a shelter or something?

The situation is I'm

f***ing starving. You know?

Oh. Well, we were just about

to go grab something to eat.

Yeah. We were. You want to join us?

You want to come?

I don't have any money.

You don't need money.

Come on. Let's go.

We stopped using that stuff

a long time ago.

Okay.

You're not gonna need money when...

the sh*t house goes all up in flames.

Know what I mean?

Yeah.

Grab your sh*t.

Come on.

Right.

Okay. I'll

give it a shot.

We stopped doing that.

Come on.

Baby.

You know what?

I'm not hungry for fish

anyway. Let's...

How about Italian?

Yeah.

You like Italian?

I love Italian.

F***ing boots.

That never happens. Ever.

You okay, baby?

I hate fish, man.

Got my boots all wet.

Fish are filled with mercury.

They're a bunch of jackasses.

Yeah. I'm hungry

for Italian anyway.

Back, back, back.

I tell ya, this place makes

the best shrimp puttanesca.

It's unbelievable.

'Cause they use real Kalamata olives.

What are you hungry for?

I could eat a... a horse.

Okay.

Hey,

keep your f***in' head on a swivel.

Is that sanitary?

I don't know, but it's free.

Lately, we have been craving meat.

I swear.

Oh. Thought you were gonna say

you were a vegan or something.

Oh, no. We're not political.

There you go.

Oh, my God.

This is the one we had last time.

I love this.

It's always so good.

Is that shrimp pasta?

You want it?

You want it?

You can have it.

I love you.

Got a bite of an orange left.

I'm a bit of a germaphobe.

This is like...

This is the best one I've had yet.

You... You don't

understand.

Like, you might as well be

in the restaurant. You know?

Tastes exactly the same.

I guess beggars can be choosers.

Um, God.

I miss... I miss my fi...

You guys are making me miss my fiance...

Why do you say that?

...so goddamn much.

Well, I don't know.

You guys are good together.

They were the most

beautiful hoboes Warren had ever seen.

I'm torn between wanting to...

They owned no property or land.

They had no money

or even any need for it.

I'm torn between

wanting to, uh...

But you couldn't

call them homeless.

No. They were just

off the grid.

It was the first time it

had ever occurred to Warren...

that money

and material possessions...

were not a prerequisite for

living happily in this world.

I don't know, man.

I feel like I should follow...

What? Your heart?

Uh, no.

You should follow your heart.

It's more like a call

to arms. You know?

I really wanna try and save the world.

You know?

Oh, man. Wait.

You know... Let's save it tomorrow.

It's a little bit

too late for that.

Took some classes

back in New York.

No, no. Kickboxing's

not gonna help you, dude.

Not... Listen to me.

Come here.

This is all you need.

Defense.

Offense.

Yeah.

Defense, offense.

Okay.

Defense, offense.

Oh!

You see?

That's all you need.

No, no.

That's all you need.

Fighting is not gonna help.

I mean, maybe... maybe if you're,

like, the first to one.

Right there.

I was, uh... I was

training in New York.

Maybe you'll be able to hold down

your spot in the grocery store,

your favorite aisle,

but when the sh*t really hits the fan...

Here drink that. It's so good.

It's good for you.

When the sh*t really hits the fan,

when the ramen noodles...

The gasoline.

The gasoline, when they're gone...

Then what?

Then what are you gonna do?

You need a real

hardened spirit...

to survive on the land.

Drink it.

Oh. It's tangy.

Mm-hmm.

Is that apples?

Where you... Where

you going exactly?

Kinda been like birds,

flying south for the winter.

Migrating south.

I've been migrating south all summer.

Haven't I?

Mazel tov.

No. We like you.

Can I have more?

It's good. Right?

Yeah.

You ever heard of, uh,

the maestro on your travels?

The maestro?

No. No.

Never had any ayahuasca?

That's what you're

drinkin' right now, man.

You're drinking

ayahuasca right now.

That is amazing

he even asked that.

It's crazy.

That is so f***ing crazy.

Can you believe

he just asked that?

What?

Yeah.

It's good for what ails you.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah.

Am I gonna start tripping

my balls off right now?

No.

Opening up your third eye.

Opens up your pineal gland.

Yeah. I'm telling you.

Maybe it's gotten calcified...

from all that f***ing

fluoride they...

keep putting in the water.

We like to give it a kick start...

every couple of days with

this ayahuasca medicine.

You know what I mean?

It makes us right as rain. Swear to God.

It's so good.

Bet it'll kick start

my pineal gland.

Ecstatic spiritual

visions to follow shortly.

He's cute.

I think I would've...

liked some warning, um,

before doing something like this.

We thought you... We thought you

might appreciate it. You know?

Besides you're part of a...

You're part of a small-scale test.

What test?

He's cool.

I'm cool.

He's cool.

He's cool.

You can tell me.

We can...

Okay.

Okay.

So we've been thinking,

what if we were to accidently spill,

say, 100 gallons of ayahuasca

medicine into the water supply?

The psychedelic effects...

on our culture would be enormous.

Can you imagine?

Half of New York City

in the middle of Times Square...

having a genuine...

a genuine spiritual experience?

I mean, dude...

Dude.

Oh, my God.

The ripple effect would be huge.

The hundred monkey theory would

spread it across the globe like...

like that.

Across the globe.

Dude, it would be the most amazing

thing anybody's ever seen.

It's the next step

in human evolution, dude.

It is the next step

in human evolution.

What are you doing?

No, no. We don't eat them.

We don't eat dandelions.

Ah. He's gone.

He's gone.

Ah. He's so cute.

There you go.

Just wrap yourself up

in a cocoon.

There you go.

He looks like a glowworm.

The ayahuasca had

squeegee'd his third eye quite clean.

Every dimension

was in his grasp.

Come with me, Don Peyote.

Come with me.

And the goddess rained gifts

of forgiveness down on him.

Move a muscle and I'll blow...

your gizzard clear

into the buffet table.

He told you not to move.

Hi, guys.

It wasn't even loaded.

Yeah.

You know,

we all thought that you

gave up on your quest.

No.

Not I.

Still fighting the good fight.

I did try the ayahuasca though.

What a game changer.

Who goes there?

Who are you?

Who are you?

Hey.

You son of a b*tch.

Where you been?

I don't know, man.

You left me in the cab,

all alone.

I-I didn't mean to.

I had to.

It's good to see you.

It's good to see you.

Where you been?

What happened to you?

The Illuminati happened to me.

No.

Yeah. They're chasing me.

What? Who's following you?

They're all chasing me.

C.I.A., F.B.I., K.G.B.,

K.F.C., Mickey D's.

I think when you were

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