Doors Open

1

(DISTANT CHEERING)

(DISTANT CHEERING)

(CHEERING AND CLAPPING)

Oh, what did you do that for?

(WHISTLE BLOWS / APPLAUSE)

(HUMS)

This piece, called simply The Card

Players, Les Joueurs de Carte,

is currently the most expensive

painting in the world.

(CHEERING AND SHOUTING)

(APPLAUSE)

It shows us the two peasants, simple

men of Provence, playing cards.

The table is bare because they can't

even afford to play for money.

And yet this piece

is rumoured recently

to have been sold

for more than $250 million.

(DISTANT CHANTING)

So what do you wanna do? Do you wanna come

to this art thing or go home to Margot?

Would you rather I wasn't there?

I don't wanna cramp your style.

You're not gonna cramp my style.

That's why I asked you to come.

Why would you cramp my style?

Well, you're not there for the art.

Yes, I am. You're not.

It's a damning indictment

on the way we measure art

in today's world

that we focus more on the price

than on the art itself,

on the beauty before us.

It's all a bit pretentious, isn't it

? That's because you don't understand it.

I do. Really? What's your favourite

painting? My favourite painting?

It's a simple question. What's your

favourite painting? McKenzie! Mike!

Charlie Calloway.

How's it going? Not so bad.

Looking good!

Nice to see you, Charlie.

Aye, you, too! I hear you're

doing all right for yourself.

What is it, computers?

Yeah, something like that.

I'm into property myself. Oh, yeah?

100 percent legit.

I've got a big office block if either

of you two gents are interested.

You boys want a wee Babycham? Oh,

we've gotta be somewhere. Next time.

Aye. Nice to see you.

Aye.

That's all for today.

Lovely to see you.

Hello, Mike. Hey, Laura.

Tell me about this.

It's oil on wood, painted in 1895.

It's the artist's wife. She was his

model first and then they got married.

It's definitely got something. Yeah.

But it's not his most

polished work technically

speaking. You see

this smudge here?

He's brushed it with his hand when he

was working on the face or the eyes.

It adds depth to it. Mm.

Do you like it? Yes, I do.

I love it. Ah, there you are.

Guess who I found tucking into the

free booze. I wonder. Professor.

I was getting one for Mike.

Of course you were.

Allan Cruickshank, Laura Stanton.

How do you do?

Nice to meet you, Allan.

Anything caught your eye?

There was an Archibald

Peddie that I rather fancied.

You, Mike?

The Monboddo's worth a look.

Monboddo, really?

Oh, that's interesting.

Excuse me, gentlemen.

Back of the net, Mike.

Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.

I've had a lot of interest in this

lot and I can start the bidding

at 20,000. I open up at 20,000.

Thank you, gentleman in the front.

20,000. Do I have 22,000?

Good man, 22,000. Do I have 24?

Any more interest at 30,000,

ladies and gentlemen?

32,000, new bidder to my left.

Thank you. 32,000.

The bid is at 32,000. 34?

The bid is at 40,000 in the room.

Any more interest at 40,000?

On the phones, 45,000.

Just got interesting, ladies and gentlemen.

45,000 on the phone. Do we have 50?

Do I have 50,000? Thank you.

50,000 in the room,

ladies and gentlemen.

The bid is at 50,000. Do I have 55?

70,000 in the room,

ladies and gentlemen.

Do I have any more interest

at 70,000? Do I have 75,000?

The bid is at 70,000 in the room.

Do I have any more interest

at 70,000?

Fair warning on 70,000.

Is that as far as we go, 70,000?

(GAVEL BANGS) Sold to the gentleman

on my left for 70,000.

(APPLAUSE)

The Monboddo's yours. It's a gift.

I can't. Why?

Because it's against the rules.

Move in.

Then you can see it every day.

(LAUGHS)

(THUNDER RUMBLES)

RADIO:
"..a familiar sight

on Edinburgh's famous skyline."

But like many other landmark banks

in the city,

First Cally seems to be feeling

the pressure of the credit crunch

with several jobs

rumoured to be under threat.

Meanwhile, it was officially

confirmed yesterday

that local company McKenzie

Electronics is being

bought out by a Japanese

components company.

"Edinburgh entrepreneur and millionaire

Mike McKenzie was upbeat."

"Opportunities like this don't

come along very often.

It seemed like the right time

to sell up and move on."

Listen, Margot,

you know how things are around here.

There's just not gonna be

those kind of bonuses.

The school fees are killing me

as it is!

I've gotta go. I'll call you back.

Yeah, I promise.

Allan Cruickshank? That's right.

They... We would like to see you

upstairs in human resources.

Right. OK.

Er, just check the old diary.

Erm, you've been scheduled

for 2:
15 tomorrow.

2:
15?

You must run a very tight

ship up in human resources.

Yes, we're very busy with

all the staff reviews.

Thanks.

(HUMS)

Good morning, Martin.

Morning, professor.

There's somebody waiting for you,

by the way.

I sent him down to the vault.

He's from the bank. Brand new

Mercedes. Top of the range.

(HUMS)

(DOOR CLOSES)

(HUMS) Hello, darlings.

I'm very sorry, I don't think

I've had the pleasure.

Professor Gissing, I presume. Yes.

Bruce Cameron

from Cameron Fine Arts.

I've actually left you

several messages.

Yes, well, I don't deal directly

with galleries.

Ah, well, you see, we're not

a gallery, we're consultants,

as I think you know. How thrilling.

Yes. Well, erm...

Well, I must say,

this is a splendid collection.

How long have you been helping

the bank acquire these works?

Erm, the best part of 25 years.

The old chairman at First

Caledonian was most particular

that we selected the very

finest Scottish works

and we rotate our selection

carefully

from branch to branch of the bank.

There's a whole nation's history

here.

Kept in trust for the Scottish

people by a Scottish bank.

So, tell me,

how is the inventory coming along?

The inventory is coming along

rather slowly, alas.

Ah.

I see no-one's

actually spoken to you.

Spoken to me? (SIGHS) Erm...

The bank want to move

rather more swiftly, I'm afraid.

We have been brought in

to evaluate the collection,

to make an analysis and to

advise on the best possible

strategic approach for...

taking it to market.

To market? As quickly as possible.

I was told this collection is safe.

I was given personal assurances

by Sir Ian.

I... This is a disgrace!

I can under...

This collection is unique!

Yes, believe me, I understand

how you must feel...

Oh... I don't think you do.

As a matter of fact, it's

one of the reasons why I...

have chosen to bring

in Miss Stanton

to help manage the transition.

I believe that you and she

are old friends.

Laura?

My Laura? I can't believe Laura would

do that to you, I really can't.

Well, she has. She's done it.

A stab in the back, it really is.

Have you spoken to her?

I haven't had the chance. She's already

on her way here. It's a fait accompli.

Sorry I'm late.

Bloody horrible day at work.

Ah, I see you've started without me.

What's going on? Has somebody died?

Robert here has just been sacked.

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