Dope Page #2

- Oh, sh*t.

But you gotta admit

"Summertime" was a classic.

What's your name,

little nigga?

Uh, it's Malcolm.

Look here, Malcolm.

I want you to do a favor for me.

You see that green apartment

there in the middle of the block?

There's a nice little piece

over there.

I want you to go up to her and tell

her that Dom wants to talk to her.

Uh, th-that's- that's it?

Yeah, nigga.

Can you handle that?

Uh... y-yeah.

Get to pedalin', nigga.

Drop that up here.

Yeah.

You gonna say something

or just stare at me?

Um, Dom says...

that he would like you to

come over and talk to him.

Well, why don't you tell Dom

that if he wants to talk to me,

he can come over here

and be a f***ing man...

and not send a little kid

to talk for him?

Tell him just like that.

She said that sh*t?

And that Dominique was way

cooler before he became Dom.

And, um, that if you think that she cares

about your dope money, sh-she doesn't.

Listen, tell her that I'm throwing

a birthday party at Verse tonight...

and I would really enjoy

the pleasure of her company.

Go ahead, nigga.

You should, uh-

You should work inside out.

Do the stuff in the brackets

first and then square the sum.

Yep.

Okay. Thanks.

Oh! Uh...

Dom says he's throwing a

birthday party tonight at Verse.

Mm-hmm.

He said he'd really love the, uh

- the pleasure of your company.

That nigga did not say that.

He did. I s-

I swear. He-

Lord.

Well, I'll go if you go.

I'll save you a dance.

You are going.

We are going.

She metaphorically showed you her

p*ssy and said, "Come and f*** me. "

Jib, um, this is Dom

we're talking about.

We're not going to

a drug dealer's birthday party.

That's- You're trippin'.

We're in our senior year, b*tches. Okay?

- It is time we started expanding our horizons.

- No.

Call your mom and tell her you're

- you're studying late at my place.

Come on. Dig? Huh?

Look, it's better than what

you normally do at night, so-

Mm-hmm.

Looking beautiful. Oh!

One, two and tres.

Been working on my Spa-

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

- What you doing?

- You let them in without checking the list.

What's up?

Okay, let me educate you

real quick.

I am the gatekeeper, I'm the

grandmaster, the authority...

in keeping

a proper nigga-to-ho ratio.

You understand

what I'm saying?

So unless you little niggas got some

pussies, I'm gon' need y'all to get the f***-

I have one.

I know y'all some b*tches, but you

ain't gotta say you got pussies.

She- She's a girl.

What?

This little nigga's a b*tch!

Like- Like Boys Don't Cry

like a motherf***er.

Remember when we was seein'

that sh*t? Yeah, I remember that.

Nigga, what the f***.

Let us in.

Oh, well, yeah, yeah.

You know, it's 21 and older.

I'm gon' need some ID,

some verification.

- Uh-

- Oh.

Wait.

Y'all don't have no IDs?

Aw! Sorry! I'm gon' need y'all

to get the f*** off.

Come on.

Get the f*** off.

There's a Baskin-Robbins down

the street. Enjoy yourselves.

Hey, man, don't this dude look like

the dude that danced in Santa Monica?

- Breakdance?

- Don't he look like- What the f***.

You're coming in, right?

Get the f*** outta here, man!

Get the f*** outta here, man.

Old Coolio-looking motherf***er.

Hey, baby. You're looking good.

Thank you.

Digs. Digs. Digs. Jib. Jib.

Come on, come on.

Hey. Hey, w-wait- Hey!

Yo, yo, yo. It's cool.

It's cool. Let 'em in.

Look, I ca-

I can't let you do that.

These kids are underage and I

cannot lose my license tonight.

Not tonight.

I don't mind having

this discussion with you.

I actually enjoy the

thoughtful exchange of ideas.

And you do bring up a valid

point. Know what I'm sayin'?

But see, you put me

in a bit of a spot, nigga.

'Cause I can't have you back-talkin'

me in front of my niggas...

without at least

f***in' your ass up.

You feel me?

You don't have to do that.

I kinda do though. I don't want

to. It's my birthday and sh*t.

But there's principles to this

sh*t, and I'm a principled man.

- They in, Dom. It's all good.

- I know they got in. That's my point.

But I got this nigga telling me what he

can't let me do and sh*t. Like I give a f***.

Man, if I let this sh*t slide, we

got what they call a slippery slope.

You know what

a slippery slope is, nigga?

No. I don't- I don't

know what a slippery-

Anyone?

Do it got anything

to do with skiing?

Nigga, sit your ass down, man.

I know using your brain

is a challenge and sh*t.

You use skis on a slope

- You might f*** around, give yourself a concussion.

It's a small event that leads to

a chain reaction of events...

with unintended consequences...

that were unforeseen at the time

of the inciting event.

See, this is a smart little

nigga right in here, bro.

You probably got one of them

"photogetic" brains or some sh*t, huh?

You mean photographic memory?

- Nigga, what I just say?

- I mean, yeah, y-you said it.

I'm reiterating that-

I'm still a little shaky

on the concept.

Basically, if I let

this nigga slide, man,

then I'm going to have

the next nigga coming along,

thinking they can pop off and

sh*t, you know what I'm sayin'?

And so on and so forth.

Damn!

- Oh, sh*t.

- Hey, little nigga, you coming in?

Yo, it's cool.

You coming in, Malcolm?

Nigga, come on.

Yeah.

Nigga, school's out. What the

f*** you doing with a bag on?

Hey, throw this behind the bar

for my little homey.

Yo, let me get a round of shots. Cheers.

Hi.

So, are you gonna ask me

to dance or what?

I think you said

something about me...

being man enough

to come talk to you.

Can I have this dance, Nakia?

It's my birthday, you know.

Hey, uh-

We were dancing, man.

Kids say the darndest things, don't they?

See, this is what happens when

you don't spank your children.

Anyways

- Why do you have to talk to him like that?

- You look nice tonight.

- Dom.

Boom!

Damn, nigga, that was ill.

This nigga doesn't know what

hit him. Check this nigga out.

He's walking his jihad dog

and sh*t, scratching his nuts.

Yahtzee, nigga.

Ooh, this sh*t crazy.

Yo, man, straight up, I really used

to think Obama was a b*tch, man.

Drones though, nigga?

That's some gangsta sh*t. I

need one of those motherfuckers.

This sh*t ain't funny.

It's f***ed up

if you really think about it.

How, nigga? He killing all

them Al-Qaedas and sh*t.

Nigga, that ain't all

that gets killed.

And that nigga's saying he

can drone-strike Americans too.

They killed an American working

with them niggas in Yemen.

Man, he was a terrorist, dawg.

So it's like set trippin'.

You can't decide

to be a Blood...

and then get mad if the Crips

try to kill you and sh*t.

Man, all I'm saying is...

this sh*t started somewhere

like Pakistan or some sh*t.

And before you know it, they'll start

saying that we're the terrorists.

They're gonna have planes

riding all around Inglewood,

droppin' bombs on Crenshaw

and sh*t, man.

Ah, slippery slope.

Exact, nigga.

Sh*t, I wish a nigga would

try to fly drones in my hood.

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