Dorian Blues Page #2

If you're mother's a good thing

in your life then that's great.

Mine wasn't in mine.

But then she died.

Things are looking up.

- Mom?

- Yes, sweetie?

I need to talk.

Then you sit right

there and talk.

Thank you.

- What are you doing?

- Seeing what we're out of.

I can do this and

listen to you.

Talk to me.

Mom.

Mom.

Mom, I'm afraid I'm different.

God made us all

different honey...

...to keep life interesting.

- You, he made moody.

- That's not all he made me.

Look Mom, I've gotta face it.

I'm not like the

other guys at school.

You never wanted

to be like them.

You called them Neanderthals.

True, I didn't want to be like

them but maybe I wished...

...too hard because now

I'm not like anyone.

I find myself envying

the Neanderthals.

Well, you know how

I feel about envy.

Envy's not the point.

Ok, just one second now

let me as you something.

- OK.

- Let me just ask this.

All right.

Last week I bought chocolate

chip cookies and nobody ate them.

Should I not get chocolate

chip ever again...

...and just stick with oatmeal?

Is that what you're

all trying to tell me?

The only difference between

my mother and the Berlin Wall?

Some people got

past that wall.

Well, that night I decided someone

was going to hear me say it.

So before Nick left for this big

party I made him the lucky someone.

Don't freak out.

Please, don't freak out.

Thank you for

not freaking out.

How many people have

you told this to?

- Nobody.

- Don't. Ever.

Do you understand me?

Don't ever talk like

this around anybody.

Jesus Christ man, if Dad

ever heard this sh*t...

...he'd bury you in the basement.

I'm not telling Dad.

But I think some people

suspect already.

Who?

Well, some guys

at school maybe.

Who at school?

Who cares, N icky?

This is who I am.

- I cannot hide it forever.

- This is not who you are.

You do not have a

clue who you are.

You've always been

the most confused...

...screwed up individual...

I've been confused

about this.

Oh man, don't cry.

- Stop crying, Dorian.

- I'm not.

Dude.

OK.

OK.

Look, I promised Kev Halen

that I'd get there early...

...and help him set up so, um,

why don't you come...

...have a few beers we'll clear...

No, that's OK.

You go.

I'm fine, really.

Go.

Dorian this a lot for me to

digest right now, all right?

Look, I know you like

to talk about stuff.

This is a big one, so

as soon as I get back...

...we'll stay up as late as you want,

talk as late as you want, all right?

Thanks.

You need to talk now,

don't you?

- Mmm-hmm.

- OK.

So we talked.

And when the phone started

ringing and the whole school...

...wanted my brother

at the party...

...he told Mom to tell

them he was sick.

We had our own party.

Got drunk, played poker for

Aunt Bette's Easter money...

...told jokes about Mom

and Dad till it hurt.

Turned out to be

a great night.

Truly classic.

The kind of night

that makes you thinkl...

...maybe high school really are

the best years of your life.

- Can I help you?

- Yeah.

We were just wondering if you could

give us the definition of a word.

Dictionaries out of print?

Well, you know we thought

it would be easier...

...to ask a smart person.

What word?

U h, what was that again guys?

Oh yeah, yeah.

It was, um homo... Homosexual.

Could you tell us how you

would define the word; homosexual?

And then maybe use

it in a sentence.

I would define it as someone

you're deathly afraid of.

So... Should we be

afraid of you?

Come on, that is so rude when

somebody is talking right to you.

We're not talking.

Listen, f*ggot.

I don't know who you think

you're dealing with.

Look out, Cal.

Hey.

Aw.

Sh*t, man.

Hey, N ick, I was just

messing with him.

Yeah?

That's all you ever do, Cal.

You know, there's a lot more

to life than messing with people.

You ought to branch

out a little bit.

See what I mean?

People suspect.

Just keep denying it.

Remember what H itler said.

You tell a lie long

enough and loud enough...

...eventually they'll

believe it.

So your advice is

be more like H itler?

You know what I mean.

Yes.

Stay in the closet.

Yeah, and lock the door.

What you writing?

Just, uh, my own journal.

All your private thoughts?

- Like what?

- Like, private.

So what?

Tell me one.

No, uh thanks.

- Wanna hear one of mine?

- No.

I mean, uh, I'm sure yours

are great but it's just...

...mine are more than

enough right now.

Bunch of Neanderthals.

## Take the last train

to Clarksville, ##

## and I'll meet you

at the station. ##

## You can be there

by four thirty, ##

## 'cause I made

your reservation. ##

## Don't be slow. ##

## Oh, no, no, no. ##

## Oh, no, no, no! ##

## Dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee. ##

## Dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee. ##

## Dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee,

dee, dee, dee. ##

## Take the last train

to Clarksville, ##

## and I must hang up the phone. ##

## I can't hear you in this

noisy rail road station all alone. ##

## I'm feeling low. ##

## Oh, no, no, no. ##

## Oh, no, no, no! ##

Hey, where'd you

disappear to after school?

What are you, my keeper?

No, I was just looking

for you, that's all.

Don't look for me.

What are you

getting stupid for?

Hey, you know something?

You look kind of guilty.

Did you do something wrong?

Get out of here.

Hey, did you

do something... Gay?

We connected in this

like, sci-fi moment.

It was like...

Yes.

We're both alike, we're

both "homo senturions. "

Both aliens.

Do you feel like

an alien, Dorian?

Yes.

Do you?

Not any more.

- How long did it take you.

- A few years maybe.

Well, uh, I don't

have a few years, doc.

I've got to go to

N YU in the fall.

You've got to get

me adjusted and now.

Plus, I can't afford

all of these sessions...

I'm dipping into my

savings for this.

Relax.

We'll do our best.

Oh, there's a

great doctor line;

"relax, we'll do our best".

Usually followed by

"Sorry, we did all we could. "

What do you love most

about yourself, Dorian?

U h, I have a good heart.

And what do you

dislike the most?

Um, my anxiety.

What do you love the

most about your father.

Oh, I see the questions get

progressively more difficult.

Why don't you tell

him that you're gay?

Because, it would be the

ugliest moment of my life...

...and I am not that strong.

See that dummy over there?

- Know who that is?

- My father?

Very good.

I'd like for you to go over there

and tell him that you're gay.

Just... Talk to him.

Hey Dad.

What?

He says now's

not a good time.

Hey Dad, this is

Dr. Mitchener.

- I'm not here.

- Oh, all right.

Dad, I've been seeing

this Dr. Mitchener...

...and he... Uh, he's a doctor

of psychology, I think.

U h, right, not an M.D. Uh...

I don't know why he

didn't go all the way.

OK.

Annoying, isn't he?

Yeah, but he's not

going to speak...

...he's just going to listen.

All right.

Dad, I just wanted you to

know that I am...

...ummm... Uh...

Dad, umm...

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