Dorian Blues Page #6

Congratulations.

Hey, how about this kid!

Thank you.

What?

Oh, OK, OK.

And, ladies and gentleman,

folks, my other son...

Dorian has just completed his first

semester at N YU where he is a uh...

...uh, excuse me Dorian...

...what you're majoring in?

U ndecided.

Right.

Where he is majoring

in indecision.

I dive down and I set that bow

anchor down there and I check it...

...and I set the stern

anchor and I come back...

...and I see it's a turtle.

- Hey.

- Congratulations.

Thanks.

- Why didn't you tell me?

- You got home late, Dor.

Plus I didn't know he

was going to pull this...

...announcement stunt.

Well, I'm happy for you.

Bull, you wish I'd

get hit by a truck.

Damn you, reading

my diary again.

- Hey mom.

- Boys.

Dorian, I read that story you

wrote for the school paper.

I loved it.

"A Man Walking On The Beach. "

You're very talented.

I have two talented sons.

Too bad my talent

doesn't pay tuition.

Dorian, before I forget, did

I tell you I have a niece...

...who lives in New York.

No you didn't.

Well I do.

She's gorgeous.

And besides that, she is

the sweetest, smartest...

...funniest girl you

could hope to meet.

What do you think?

Honestly, she doesn't

sound like my type.

Whatever you want.

I'm serious.

Hey, Dor.

Hey.

Are we still mad

at each other?

What's that?

I said; are we still

mad at each other?

I'm not mad.

You haven't asked

me about school.

Yeah, Mom filled me in.

Sounds like it's going well.

- It's not a phase.

- What's that?

It's not... A phase.

Do you think you're ever

gonna be OK with who I am?

Do I think I'm ever gonna be

OK with who you've chosen to be?

Am.

Now son, we both know

that's subject to opinion.

No, never will be.

The sexual specifics

of that life style, uh...

...are just too unnatural for

me to ever be OK with it.

God, you know what I hate?

What's that?

That I care what you think.

Because if I didn't... God!

Well son...

...part of being a

man in this world...

...is making your own decisions and

then living with the consequences.

You are a man now.

I mean, you're old

enough to die in a war...

...and you're old enough

to die in a bed too.

Is that what you're

worried about?

Because I can relate to that,

but, I swear to God, Dad.

I'm gonna be so careful.

Oh yeah, 'careful',

funeral homes, these days...

...are truck-full of young men

who are careful, I mean...

Jesus, Dorian...

Do you want this disease?

Do you want AIDS?

That's it, I chose this

lifestyle because...

I felt left out of a plague.

Christ, I gotta wonder.

I mean...

...when being normal

could save your life...

...you think you'd give it

a strong second look.

What's normal Dad?

You with your pint

of Scotch every night?

That stack of big-boobed

girly magazines...

...you got hid in the safe

that Mom thinks...

...is just for

your stamp collection?

That normal?

Yeah, that's in the ballpark.

I returned to New York

that winter so lonely...

...that I was ready to try anything.

Even getting myself picked

up at one of those bars.

And it worked,

I got taken home by a guy...

...whose name I

never did learn so...

...let's just call him 'psycho'.

Nope.

This isn't gonna do it.

I'm really sorry, this just

isn't me, this whole scene.

I just thought I could drink

my way into it, but I can't...

...so I'm just gonna

call it a night, OK.

Hut.

Hut. Hut.

Uuhh!

Yeah.

I'll call you some time.

I was so stupid.

I still didn't realize how

big a trouble I was in.

I still thought I was just

dealing with some drunken jerk.

When actually I had stumbled

on to something far worse.

It was unreal.

I couldn't breathe... And

it wasn't long before...

I started to lose it, and

I was pretty much screwed.

Until my mind coughed

up this obscure memory.

Sh*t!

You broke my nose!

Ah!

You're dead!

So dead!

I ended up in four days in St.

Vincent's for a serious concussion.

It was so ironic.

Nicky had been playing

football since he was nine...

...and had never

gotten a concussion.

I was going for a liberal arts

degree and already had two.

So after this

muscle-man incident...

I declared my preference

a- Sexual and hit the books.

Over the next few years I

became a high honors student...

VP of my class and a bit

of a soap box activist.

Meanwhile, Nicky

went to Syracuse...

...and through his letters I got

the impression that things...

...weren't going as easily

as he was used to.

It was the first time that

the angels had turned their...

...backs on my brother

and towards me.

I've been to the zoo.

- I'm sorry?

- I said, I've been to the zoo.

Zoo story, Edward Alby.

Very good.

Now I know I'm not

wasting my time.

What are you,

a playwright?

No, a law student.

You?

Undergrad.

N YU.

Is he the genius

they say he is?

- You haven't read him?

- No.

Well, maybe I'm

wasting my time.

The fairy tale

finally happened.

Lonely prince Dorian

finally met his other prince...

...and the love prince Dorian felt

for prince Ben cast out...

...all Dorian's spells

of depression...

...and gave him the strength of

ten gay men... Or seven straight.

Ben, you gotta come with us

to keg night at Jessie's Barn.

- We're there.

- Right?

- Absolutely.

- Great.

Andrew?

Let's see, music and beer

with friends or stay home...

...and have imaginary fights

with my step mother?

Let me see...

Oh no, wait we can't Friday.

- Why not?

- I meant to tell you.

My parents are coming to town

on Friday and they want...

...to take us to dinner.

What?

I'm meeting your parents?

Well, I told them I was bringing

a friend along, you know.

Just the thought of meeting

Ben's parents sent me...

...into my newest afflictionl...

...hyperventilation.

I'd never met anyone's

parents before.

Literally, the only

parents I'd met were my own...

...and that didn't go very well.

I was terrified

they'd suspect.

Suspect what?

That we're more

than just friends.

Doesn't your brother

introduce his guy buddies...

...to your parents all the time?

- Yeah.

- Same thing.

You think?

Sure, they won't

suspect a thing.

U nless, of course, you do

something to tip them off.

I'm kidding.

Just kidding.

So Dorian, how's your steak?

It's awesome.

It's awesome.

So how long have

you two been lovers?

- Relax. They already know.

- What?

- We know!

- We know!

They're super-liberal,

they don't care.

- We don't care!

- We don't care!

Dorian's parents are creepy

ultra-conservatives, so...

This is kind of

creepy, too, actually.

I couldn't believe my life.

I had met my soul mate.

And his parents, though odd,

were completely accepting.

And then, just as

quickly, Ben left.

Never gave a good reason,

just said he was tired of us.

We'd been together two months.

I can't get tired of a

gold fish in two months.

And I obsessed.

- This has to stop.

- It is stopping, I promise.

I just need to ask

you one question.

Why did you break up with me?

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