Dorm Daze 2 Page #2

Yes!

There's a lot of pressure

for us women to give it up.

You have movies, magazines, television...

music videos, the internet.

People are having cybersex.

I mean, we can't give in to temptation.

We have to stay strong.

- Yes!

- Whoo!

Yes!

Whoo!

Marla, Lynne, would you like to share?

- Yes.

- Thank you, ladies.

As you know, recently Lynne and I

became born-again virgins.

Hallelujah. Yes!

But it wasn't always easy.

I mean, there were times that we...

we gave in to temptation.

Yeah.

A lot.

It's so easy to lose control.

Yeah, like when you plan on

only giving a guy a blow job...

and it's just so much fun

that you end up sleeping with him.

We have to resist these male advances.

That's why from here on out...

I am carrying a rape horn.

Me, too!

OK. Thank you, ladies.

Now for a male perspective.

Rusty, why did you decide

to save yourself for marriage?

Well, Violet, I just want...

my first time...

to be, uh...

really, really special.

You know, like, uh...

on a cruise ship.

With, uh, the tropical breeze...

in cabin one hundred twenty-six...

where I'll be today from 6:00 to 7:00.

Thank you. Thank you, girls.

That is so sweet.

Rusty, is that why you're in this group...

so that you can try to score?

Rusty, is that what you're planning?

Well, now that you bring it up...

aren't any of you virgins as horny as I am?

I mean, I... I do.

I... I wanna do it.

I do, and I want it to be dirty.

And I mean, why shouldn't I?

Why shouldn't you when everyone else

on Earth is doing it?

I'm fallin' off the wagon here, girls.

I need some group support!

Let's have an orgy!

Rusty!

Uh...

look, this ship...

could hit an iceberg and sink tomorrow.

And then how would you feel...

knowing that you didn't live your life

to the fullest?

Now...

who wants to have sex with me?

All right, I've heard enough.

Let's put it to a vote.

All in favor of ejecting Rusty,

raise your hand.

- Yeah!

- Yeah!

Ejaculate him!

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

You cockblocking fascist.

This will not stand. Motion to strike...

- Wai... whoa!

- Raah!

This is a photograph I took

a mere nine months ago...

during my appraisal

of the famous Pharaoh's Heart...

the legendary jewel of Araby...

one of the largest

and most beautiful diamonds in the world.

Actually, this is

the last photograph taken of the jewel...

before it was stolen.

Now, I imagine the thief to be feeling...

pretty happy right now with his grab...

because I estimate that this jewel

is worth in excess of...

what should we say, Mr. Hanson?

Uh, uh...

twenty million?

I wonder, however,

if the thief is also aware...

that the diamond carries with it a curse.

I understand you were initially a suspect...

in the disappearance

of the Pharaoh's Heart.

Yes. Well, of course it's only natural...

that Interpol would follow any logical lead.

However, I don't imagine

I'd still be teaching here...

if I were an international jewel thief.

Did you need something, Dean Dryer?

Oh, no, no. Just passing by.

I like to keep an eye on things.

Well, since the diamond's rediscovery

eighty-six years ago...

it has been stolen

on no less than fourteen occasions...

and on every occasion, the thief

has turned up very dead soon thereafter.

Do you think the curse is real,

Professor Cavendish?

My dear students...

I have seen many wondrous,

strange things in my travels...

but a curse?

Black magic?

Well, at any rate, if there is a curse...

then the current thief should be

turning up dead soon enough.

Uhh.

Ah, tonight I'll be saying good-bye to you...

my beautiful Pharaoh's Heart.

But I'll be saying hello to twenty million.

Wow. So you, like, wrote this thing?

- Mm-hmm.

- That's awesome.

You know, I'm... I'm totally, totally, like,

into plays and sh*t.

Then you should definitely come

tomorrow night.

It's completely student-produced.

Robin, I have an emergency,

serious play business.

Whoa.

Man.

What, Dante? What's wrong?

Man, that was a close one.

I think that guy

might have been hitting on you.

You said there was

an emergency, Dante. What...

Yes. Uh, the candlesticks for the table...

which color do you want?

That's it?

Jesus, you scared me.

Ask Wang. He's the prop master.

Heh. Right.

Uh, way to delegate, Robin.

I-I'm totally committed to this play.

Man, Captain Bunkley's wife is hot as sh*t.

She looks familiar, too.

I feel like I know her from somewhere.

- Well, I know her.

- Yeah?

In the Biblical sense.

You telling me

you boned the captain's wife?

She's nasty, man, total slut for it.

You're so full of sh*t.

Ms. Daniels.

We missed you in class today.

Isn't there some way

I can make up the credit?

Oh, I'm, uh... I'm sure

we can work something out.

Please, why don't you come on in?

You know, some might consider it

a trifle inappropriate...

a student visiting a professor in his cabin.

Oh, yeah? Well, I wonder

what they would say about... this?

That's a good start on your extra credit.

This has been

the greatest semester of my life.

And when the cruise is over

we won't have to hide anymore.

We can explore Egypt and Rome.

I'll show you the world.

This is Captain Bunkley speaking.

There's been a change in our course.

Instead of stopping

at Desoro Negros tonight...

we'll be moving on

and docking at San Paradiso.

That is all.

Oh, I'm... I'm sorry, my dear...

but I'm afraid I have to be going.

Why? W-what's happening?

Vroom, vroom.

Vroom, vroom.

Bunkley!

Captain Bunkley, g... whoa.

Well, uh, pardon the interruption...

but I had specifically requested...

that we stop at Desoro Negros.

Well, there are

some very important ruins there...

that I would like to study.

Professor Cavendish, I appreciate...

this isn't just a teaching trip for you...

that you're making

an archeological tour of these islands...

but I've recently been informed...

that the ruins at Desoro Negros

are not very spectacular.

Apparently the only thing

of any real interest...

is a thriving black market for stolen goods.

Oh, really?

I had no idea.

Now, we don't want

to expose these students...

to a situation like that.

No, of course not.

Hmm.

Dude, I'm so dominating you right now.

Oh, really, dude?

Because you've been playing

by yourself for the last five minutes.

Really? Peter, don't you have

an interview with Dean Dryer?

Oh, damn.

I... I gotta take a shower a-and do my hair.

Just skip it. Gerri's a shoo-in for that grant.

She caught that criminal last year.

Dude, she's like a superhero.

Plus she's smokin' hot.

Yeah. If I'm gonna get this grant...

I am going to need to summon

all my powers!

To the bong, Batman.

In a few days...

I'll be making my recommendation

to the Billingsley board...

regarding the awarding of the grant.

Ms. Farber, you have executed...

one of the finest scholastic turnarounds...

I've seen in years.

Thank you. I take my, uh...

educational career...

very seriously.

As for you, Peter...

I'm not entirely sure why

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